I’m inside of a scaled walled fortress, the greatest strains in a mind's limit, to limit myself inside of castle walls,
Of a writer's block, refusing to let my passions rest inside concrete walls,
Paranoia is a loud emptiness, bouncing back and forth, corner to corner; in this ball, playing with my thoughts in these walls,
I can’t think inside of these walls, can’t see ahead fears inside of these walls, reluctant to move inside of these walls, dependent on myself inside of these walls, I have no choice but to break down these walls.
4 bricks in a line on the floor in case someone dared to knock at this door shadows underneath come and go but it won't be me they get to know 10 bricks now for added protection a sign reads "leave, please no affection" comfort here in the shade "go away i'm not here, leave" i prayed 20 bricks and counting to avoid the foreseen I learnt how to build at the age of sixteen this is not the first, i've been here three times fallen head first for emotional crimes and i wonder why i can't muster the trust when consistence and kindness has been my gold dust and always when I need them the most I’ll run, I’ll hide and become like the ghost all because the notion of security has become somewhat of a peculiar obscurity 7 seconds to put up all the defences and here I’ll sit with the everlasting consequences crying out at my own reflection “here we are, did it again, severed an incandescent connection” how can I change when this has been all I know this version of love had been taught long ago if not filled with rage and sordid behaviour cut all ties, sabotage, this can’t be my saviour and the reason I feel like I need to be saved is I’ve danced too long with the morally depraved who treated me well with sweet degradation and made me believe in self deprecation so these walls, after all, are for me and not you quietly hoping you have the tools to break through
With such cold rigidity some are able to carefully build these walls And I try to imitate the craft, But alas, my heart is far too soft.
When darkness falls, gently, across these open plains of Windswept grass It takes nothing but a single breath to Lay my spirit bare, Fingers of the starlit night reaching into the wild Tangles of my hair.
And how easily I let these barriers Fall all the way Down
All the weight I’ve carried upon my shoulders dropped, Just like that, Just like a soft and silken gown Strewn across the cooling evening ground.
And how I also crumble and fold, How these painted walls They do not hold
Because I am not afraid of love And I beg the floodwaters to roll like raging Oceans whipped by cyclonic storms And I bend into the breaking of the stones And my heart is screaming Let them fall!
No, I do not try to cage this eternal seeking of my soul, so
Let them fall
Let them fall
I will always turn towards the sunlit warmth of love, Arms reaching forever out Though it may be better to arm these walls,
I will always let them fall.
I live breathless and free in the breaking.
That's what love feels like https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRGGUd3m/