That monk, what was
his name? Time forgets
the name, but he would
have been of the original
ones left behind in 1922,
aged when I saw him in 68,
balding and just a greyness
of his former tonsure on his
Norman peasant head.

Lay brother of the noble kind,
humble and self-efacing,
working in gardens or woodlands,
attending the mass and offices
in silent mode in the lay-brothers' pews.

Gone know; some tidy grave
with Latin words; molehills
and the song of birds.

An old monk rememered

I will write at length
About the brief time
We spent together
I will embellish the words
You left with me
Like articles of clothing
I will take a hammer
To the mechanism
That clicks on and on
And off and on
And tells me how I felt
I will hide myself
In a circle of salt
I will taste blood
When I bite my cheek

Sun 2d

When I see you smile
wriggling on the wall
I lean on to the sky –
as a dreamer of fur-flung hope
To touch you -are you cold, in winter?

Shimmering silver light
sparks in my veins
Shaking the flame of my heart
for your thoughts
The depth of curiosity
set me ablaze
I close my eyes....

Who painted you hundred years ago
Gave the same eyes through which I see thou
The same smile, the deep gaze to find eternal quest

When the visitors gone-
do you cry for the lost love of life?
In darkness, do you wait
for the light of heaven- we call Sun?
How many people loved you
before you’re not a mere Art?
A living soul- an unbroken array of hope
How many tears shed for your absence?

You are my silent listener, silence holds my throat
When you cannot reply, do you sigh?  
Carpe diem! ~ by your dark deep curious eyes, sharp smile
Hanging in the corner of the art gallery for years....
                                            ~

Dedicated: To the love of my life :) :)
Perspective: When a hundred years old portrait makes you wonder
Sun Jun 4

Life is much more than that cup of Coffees
in solitary dusk
Sitting in the crowd
on the roadside of the local cafe
Sipping it to imagine the whole world

If you choose not to care
Wherever the soul belongs,
won't crawl back to you always
Would you love to call back pain?

Silver dreams set fire on your soliloquy
Life is much more than a happy poetry
Much more than the saddest one
Bigger than the lost sunset

With the passage of time
Life is much more than the thoughts
Than the distance
In between of the blue oceans
~

Sun Jun 18

Can you see your shadows
   getting far each dusk
      A little by little
         From me?
           Can you feel my breathing
             with fear of being lost
                on your shoulder?

             Do you hold your breaths
        With empty promises
   For someone else now?  
Do you still dream
of me?

   If you are sad in a dream,
        Do you still smile when wake up?
          Do you still listen
            same songs        
              for weeks?  
              Do you know  
                I don't draw the map
                 on silver sands
                of my way back to home?

              Do you walk on our
            favourite paths in the twilight?
        Do you see the memory lane
     Void in the neon lights?
   Do you know
      We won't wake up
          in the same lands?

           Someday
             Will you look for me
               admist of strangers?
                Whom will you blame
             When I am long gone?
         Who will trade freedom
    In return of your love?
        Who will leave the world
               for you?  

                   Will your hearts cry
                 For me ?
              when the city
          Will wake you up
       I will be
    Somewhere
 In a distant sea
                     ~

Sun May 10

I went to the oceans to drink the mysterious breeze
Came back swaying on my sand-kissed feet

I went to the river valley to touch the  soft glowing clouds
Came back with a wondering heart to wander at every edge of unknown

I went to the trails to breathe out all the unforgettable pains
Came back pouring my hearts with the unspoken thoughts.....

Ammar 1d

For the last time
in forever
i tasted a memory
of us
for the final time

the odd ice-cream flavors
we made over phone calls
and i would get them
straight to your house
the very next afternoon

perhaps you have forgotten
its taste
perhaps you have forgotten
the taste of my lips
with odd tasting ice cream

well nonetheless
i tasted it one last time
and it was intoxicating
more than any wine or vodka
it hurt a little too

maybe because i couldn't taste
your lips with it
or touch your cheeks
or call you mine
while i claimed this flavor to be ours

fuck 'ours'
nothing is 'ours'
and what the fuck was
this word called 'us'
you had me thinking it meant 'infinite'

only the red and black
that you wore that night
has etched itself
in my memory
for infinite

also that smile
that voice
oh and the way you looked
straight in my eyes
and how it was so easy for you to say your byes

perhaps i wasn't black enough
or maybe i wasn't popular
enough to be called a celebrity
or enough
to make you stay

it hurts oh fuck
the remnants of that night
in the flavors of almonds
and strawberries
straight from your lips

and in black & white
pictures of you and me
dancing the night away
under dim lights and
bright love

well how sad
this was the last sip of the 32nd flavor
and never again will this be
for there never will be an 'us'
which ever again means 'infinite'

// tum yaad aai...aur tumhaare saath zamaane yaad aai...
laut aao tum...mera har pal jal raha hai
aa bhi jao tum.....tanha hu main yahan //

Mm these floors I'll never walk again
These walls that hold a love that never ended
The light in eyes of love and life the same
The energy I'll never know again
Mmm

The faded halls the twists and turns my friend
Hold so tight the love for each dead end
The memory of feet against cold slate
These are the floors I'll never walk again

Me rae doe

Oh
Where does the heart go
Why do my hands still know
The places I always saw
I know I've been here before
Things always look the same
When they give you the most pain
But it's just in your eyes
That I don't recognise

Take me home
To years ago
Love is the same
It's you I don't know
So take me home
Show me the way
Take me home
To yesterday

Lyrics to a song I wrote last year. Perhaps try and imagine a melody...

I'm crying, and my breathe is weak.
I don't know what's happening, but the worlds looking bleak,
And I can't think of anything but the build up in my neck.
Instant black. Wake up, and I'm in the kitchen next.
"How did I get here? What time is it?
Four hours have passed? Oh, shit!
What have I done? Did I say anything bad?
Why are my friends pissed, they look really mad.
Oh, god I'm starting to panic."
The panic preys on me like a giant mantis,
And each strike brings a blackout to match,
Each blackout, new questions to hatch,
And each new question a never ending suspense in place of the answer.

Where may I roam,
that the bullet graze
across my hunched over heart
will cease to glow hot
fanned
By the lonely headwinds
of what new lovers
used to say.

Somethings don't quite go away.
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