Riot 1d

It’s interesting;
everytime i see you,
in dreams or even in person
how you jump back,
Burned.

my eyes wander to the boy holding
you
my mind wonders to memories
Of me doing that.

You jump
scared shitless
as if I’ve beaten
You.
as if
Me
my faith in you
& our shared nights
jumped you in the shade you casted to hide yourself.

As if months of love in the dark
has made you go back
to a loveless man taking you into his arms.

Sparks turn to fire,
and we’ve turned the heat up,
like the gas stove at my mother’s house,
Several times.

inflammation all over you.
your skin.
The soul you once had.
and yet you have a fear of  
fire.

I suppose you pretending it didn’t happen works too.

Riot 1d

i murder myself every night,
your memory being the weapon.

i saw you last week in my dreams and
you beat me with the thought of you

i stood still, covered
in blue, still
you never having to beat me black.

Do you remember the
night of cold; a thick blanket of
snow and anger frosted
over your frozen body?

i
laughed at
the complementing contrast,
and i beat me with my memory
again.

Riot 1d

I camp out in my room
light switch feet away,
my feet,
shaking against my own will.

Your memory plays in black and white,
as if we made a perfect,
tragic film.

Was color sucked out after you left; or
was it never there?

Riot 1d

I am reaching out for you. I reach to the deep corners of my heart where the darkness begins by its shadows cover; where there was a small hole from the first woman I loved.

I'm reaching to pull the arrow that grown baby in the diaper shot me in the bum with,

I'm reaching for where he's missed and shot and left scars is big as that gaping hole in my heart that Never seemed to heal correctly.

I'm reaching. I'm reaching for the day I saw you in that wheelchair my first day of marching band and someone said we'd be a cute couple of shorties.

I'm reaching for the day I switched seats and you were directly across my black eyes and I could feel my pupils dilate at least 45 percent.

Oh god this is amazing.

I'm reaching into the corners of my mind where I keep my biggest secrets and I'm reaching for you.

Another lovesick love poem

These past few years I have seen and learned 'letting go' in a lot of forms.
Be it the deafening roar of a train leaving your lonely figure past, past, past
or a father figure taking his last breaths
or friends you met everyday not being there in your scary, teary nights
or grudges. just so you'd feel light again
not you. not your memory.

“Maybe that’s worse, not letting ourselves be loved. Because we’re too afraid of giving ourselves to someone we might lose.”
A 2d

I see the future
I see the future and what it holds

It’s not pretty - it’s a deep dark hole

Slowly, I slip in to the recess of the cavity.

Pulling you with me, a helpless casualty.

I will start all over and end repeatedly.

You’ll watch me disappear even though you’re falling with me.

Your love - not safe, as my mind escapes.

Your noose, tightening as my memory fades.

All our days forgotten, our love erased.

While you’re still holding out for hope, I further decay.

To my love, whom I hope to never forget

You said you would love me,

until the end of your days.

Well I believe you died not long after that,
and resurrected from stones.

You no longer love me,

and your memory aches in these bones.


Sandoval

I was asked how
To forget a person you know
Down their deepest core
Up to every small gesture,
From those lethal touch
To those addicting smooch;

I answered, you can't
You may press delete
But your mind will always
Find ways,
Backing up deleted memories.

Sparkling nights, velvet backgrounds
Memories are sweet in retrospect
When in reality we know
Those sparkling nights were a dark abyss
Set against razor sharp assumptions
But despite it all, i still liked it
The unknown of it all is exciting

Wyatt R 4d

When trying to calm
your cluttered mind,
they say to think back
to a time when you were
happy as a child.
Too bad that I
never had
that good
of a memory.

I don't think it ever existed.
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