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void 13h
solemn silence
sleeping
seeping through

rites of
solitude

rites of
sleepless nights

weeks of
isolated
self medication

rites of what

sick silent solitude seeping through

rites of silence
of solitude

rites of sickness
deep within
void 20h
we dont write
to romanticize
or to beautify

we write to understand
ourselves and
purge our pain

its not beautiful
to live this way

but it is
a means to survive
void 20h
slowly i learn
to push away the thoughts
of blood and bleeding
or pills and puking
of starving and loose jeans
of tragedies to other people unseen

slowly i tell myself
ill be okay
maybe

slowly maybe
i learn to recover

drinking and drowning
slowly i fall back
maybe i cant

slowly maybe
im stuck after all

slowly i pull myself
back up
i learn to shower
and eat and sleep
and exist again

my body destroyed
more and more each time

slowly maybe
i learn to love scars
and stretch marks
and chub

cheerful faces fall
slowly maybe i fall
back

but
slowly maybe
i learn to survive
You have so much potential.
So, So, So, So much.
And whenever you put a blade to your skin,
I watch the universe leak from the scars on your wrist.
its funny how i find more comfort
in a cold metal blade than you
a pulse can't be trusted
cold steel can't twist my words
unlike everything else
its the one thing i can control
void Dec 8
and it makes me so ******* sick that any sort of mild ******* inconvenience makes me wanna **** myself
but i guess that's just it
the only solution in this miserable life
void Dec 8
arm the so-called enemy to
shove the war down citizens throats
throw the blame onto anyone but yourselves
void Dec 8
im sick of this smell
i hate feeling like the hospital
//
it feels like the hospital
cant sleep
ears hurt
stomach tight
mouth dry
smells like the hospital
pillow hard
walls cold
too warm
//
does the city feel a little bit like home or the hospital
void Dec 8
i layed forever just holding back dry tears and when i finally got the courage to move i went through the motions of going to bed
and i got upstairs and i grabbed my guitar and i held it and i tried to play but i couldn't it kept getting worse so i just stood there
guitar in my hands and i was shaking and i couldn't breathe
so i layed down and i waited to be told goodnight and i layed on my side choking on myself
and then i couldn't move and i couldn't do anything and i tried to write but it didn't feel good so i layed in my side choking on myself
and i tried to draw but it almost made me cry so i layed on my side choking on myself
and i grabbed my guitar again and put it down and layed down on my side choking on myself
and i just couldn't break away and
it was the most awful feeling on earth
and i could hear so many things being said and i could see
so many things happening inside my head and i couldn't shut them out so the tears started to seep but i couldn't cry and i could feel myself choking
on myself and i couldn't do anything about it
choking on myself and
i couldn't do anything about it
choking on myself
void Dec 8
put it under your arm so it doesnt choke you in your sleep
just watch the road and don't think too much on anything
through the windshield in your dreams
just watch the road and don't think too much on anything
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