If all the emotions and feelings I create
Can be represented by colours
When all the paint
Runs away from this A4 slate
I should be left with Gold
Because my mind has been set
And I don't plan to settle for anything less

and you should tell her whose heart you still have
tucked away in the back pocket of your jeans.
and she deserves to know who sold it to you
in the first place for morning kisses
and cold feet in the bed,
because she plants her lips like daisies onto yours at night
and wears knee socks beneath the duvet.
and it's 3 A.M. and you're thinking about taking a drive
and she is fast asleep,
so you take your jeans and your cigarettes
and step on the gas, alone in your Camaro.
and it's still 3 A.M. when you pull into my driveway
and i'm awake, too.
and i say nothing when you unlock the door
and puff clouds through my kitchen.
but i should've known you couldn't remember
if it was my heart
or the nicotine
that you were addicted to,
and yet i padded to where you were,
pulled out your mug from the cabinet
and i thought about how much you traded
when it came to her.

this is an oldie, like when the arctic monkeys came out oldie. i was hella in my feels as an angsty tumblr emo teen (if you couldnt tell at the mention of cigarettes hahah).

Pilit naghihintay
Patuloy na nalulumbay
Bawat araw na nagdaraan
Iniisip pa din ang nakaraan

Bawat ngiti sa labi
May luha sa mata nakakubli
Ganito nga ba lagi mag isa?
Paano ba ulit ako sasaya

Kelan kaba darating
Tanong ng iba ako bay praning??
Minsan lng mg "emote" ano kaba?
Maarte ako!bakit ba?

ejb Jan 9

I understand now that I am not the one for You,
But that hasn't stopped Me from loving You.

I know that I am not enough for You.
There is something that He gives You that I never can,
But that hasn't stopped Me from wishing that I could.

In my mind, You are still the one for Me;
The only one I need,
My everything.
But that's not how You see Me.

I understand now that I am not the one for You,
But it hasn't stopped Me from loving You,
And I don't know what to do.

01/08/18  2:04 pm
ejb Jan 7

you still tear him down
you try and manipulate me to do the same
i don't think you know how much that hurts
you can't do that to me
you can't do that to me
just because you don't love him anymore doesn't mean i can't
he's still my dad

it still hurts sometimes
that you couldn't wait
you couldn't even wait for the court date

i asked if you were seeing him and you told me "no"
but i knew it was a lie
then one month down the line you proved me right
and it was no surprise
how dumb do you take me for

it still hurts sometimes
that you couldn't wait
you couldn't even wait for the court date

06/05/17 - this one is about my parents divorce and how my mom got back together with her ex before the divorce was even final and all of my resentment towards her for it
ejb Jan 7

i roll out of bed
it's the 18th again
another months gone by
and i still cry
i still miss you
my feed tells me other do too
i listen to that song and then
it cuts me open again

so i go for a drive
just to feel alive
i drive past your home
so i don't feel alone
i drive down to the park
and stay till it's dark
and i think about you
oh if you only knew

why'd you choose that day
why did you give it all away
i wonder if you had stayed
could things have changed
could you have seen that we loved you so much
or was your mind made up
do you know how hard that was
why'd you do that to us

05/22/17
ejb Jan 7

the sheets won't stay on my bed and my thoughts won't stay in my head.

I think I ran over a frog with my car and I still feel guilty.

I love lilac trees and coffee beans.

there's crumbs in my bed and I still can't get you out of my head and I slept on a Kit Kat wrapper all night.

my chia pet never grew and I'm still dreaming about you.

I'm just a mess of feelings and I don't know what to do.

these are all really random but i wrote them down at some point so I think they deserve to be shared

I can see your eyes
Tearing up with dust
You've triped from grace far too many times
The rest of you
Has fallen Though the floor
Your finger nails clinging onto old accolades and awards
As your feet lay under floorboards

I want to sink into you
Drown in temptation
But I'm scared to submerge my head
I don't want to be blinded
And loose my senses again
I love you
Sounds so sweet underwater
Even if it's muffled and broken
But I've got faith
To not let one mistake
Discourage me from another
let the water clean the slate
And when I re-emerge
Your words just sound the same
We'll bask in the sunshines glow

I'm not a master
I'm a slave to the words I've wrote
Because these words haunt
And have never been spoke
Travel down the ear canal
To be met with a abrupt end
They become a language you bearly understand

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