Freddie Ruiz May 25
I went out for a ride trying to find something interesting,
trying to clear my mind off things,
yet all I keep thinking is about you and me;
the way I want it to be and the way it really is.

I don’t know why everything we do feels so wrong.
We’re like a broken record that repeats the same irritating song.
Trapped in a car that seems to get tinier and uncomfortable
and each promise we make floats away in a bubble.  

Apparently, our promises are made to fill our empty spaces, the void we feel about each other;
they’re pretentious and boring, heavy with the unwavering longing we have for each other.

I don’t hate “us”,
but right now, I can’t stand us.
Written on February 22, 2003
Composition number: 150
alex 8h
I can't remember the last time,
will there ever be a last time?
tell me: in heaven or in hell
do they judge you for the pain inflicted
to you, or by you?
what if those pains were the same
with different hands? different eyes?
another place? another time?
alex 8h
a kaleidoscope of painful memories
colors so vibrant like
fresh blood on your white clothes.
trauma in an hourglass
time and progeny
going on forever into the dark.
a generation of rats
too damaged to raise their young
past weaning.
something in our blood
whispering familiar stories
in a language we don't want to understand.
we are all haunted houses
inhabited by those who came before
and those who could not leave.
alex 8h
they pulled out my teeth
with clamps and rubber gloves
they stole it from me
and my mom stole my medicine
took it for herself
my pain and my burdenhood
all for your gain
so you wouldn't rot alone
but her brother stole
my grandfather's medicine
withheld it from him
and he putrified alive
though the bastard he was
& I've been for 20 years
in a house made of pills
my mother tells me
it's all in my head
I don't deserve human kindness
alex 9h
my father was an angel
my mother a forgetter
& when I was born I had no skin
the doctors never noticed
perhaps they didn't care
that this thing they tore out of her body
couldn't be human
couldn't even be alive
alex 9h
I grew up where the sun burns the Earth
where God spits fire in disgust
at the pride of man-like beasts.
there is no soft earth here
only rocks.

I began bleeding from my eyes and mouth at age nine
when my father became my father
made shattered glass in anger
as he broke the remainder
of the light within the house.

at that point I didn't know
that the light had never existed there at all.
alex 9h
an empire built on festering trash
a city of garbage
grown from dumpsters
like potted plants,
dying of neglect.
it's the legacy of amphetamines
and hollowed holes in the chests of trees
empty places where the heart once lived
now torn away from its body
like wrapping off a birthday gift
feeding into the landfill again.
alex 9h
an inherited burden,
inherited pain.
a hereditary disease
passed down from father, to mother,
to hell, and back again.
swallowing the goose's golden egg
and vomiting it back up
into the mouths of your children
and their children
and their children's children
and so on
until the earth itself begins to rot.
Sometimes it's hard to
loose the one you love
For better and elegant
life to earn.
Circumstances do happens
Good and bad time together
Reward comes to those
who patiently preserve and control.
After prize and tight
we live happily and bright.
love and sacrifice to earn a beautiful life
S Hyndman 17h
I’m done
I’m done
I’m done
I’m done
I tell my momma
She doesn’t come looking for me

I’m done
I’m done
I’m done
I’m done
I tell my momma
She doesn’t come looking for me

I’m done
I’m done
I’m done
I’m done
I tell my momma
She doesn’t come looking for me

Momma comes looking for me
No work, occupation, problem, challenge,  anger, pain, or success  is worth more than the relationships you make in life. Don’t stray away from those who matter most, or even least.
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