If you'll pardon the intoxicated indigestion
I have a rather erratic, dogmatic question:
If I woke up in the morning and I were broken
If I have used my last lucky little token
Would you love me still?
Would you join for the thrill?
Would you stay for the past
Or admit it couldn't last?

Time is flying, and I'm tired of trying
To pretend I can't taste the sand.
I loved you through everything
I held you through broken wing
If it were my turn because I wouldn't learn
And had to burn to understand
Would you still hold my hand?

cyanide kisses
subtle, deluded
swaying softly
against the tender
skin
of a sweaty cheek

subdued candle flame
four hips gyrate to
keep
the quiet sting of
counterfeit moonlight

the raging constitution
of knowing your eyes
But pressing hard to
kiss his cough-drop
Tongue
and all this sudden asphyxiation

not looking up to conceal
all the things I see
in the quiet ammunitions
of the letters of your name
fading away
ink bleeding with
his sour hot saliva
in your hallmark ricochet

the one you kept in the shirt pocket
you kept close
to your heart rate

I am afraid.
What to do with such unspeakable emotion?
I will hide beneath the surface
of the fine lines of his face
and forget about the almost
had
the tide against
the rage
in a ship of my own making
an anemone bouquet
the last reminder
of the time and the day
you made me feel
able.

Find a love so deep,
Find a life so neat,
Find the challenge and the heat.
Feel the cold and the warm,
Feel the quite and the storm.
And fall apart with the pressure and the noise,
Fall apart with every second that it toys.
Fall apart with the struggles of the beat,
Fall apart with the tunnel vision and the seat.
But know your soul feel the fire burning cold,
Know your soul be loving and be bold.
Know your soul be the love you know you have,
Know your soul dont be a mother who is sad.
Fix yourself bring the energy back,
Fix yourself stop going so black.
Fix yourself take the anger out,
Fix yourself stop carrying doubt.
But most of all its ok to fall,
But most of all carry your family tall,
But most of all love with it all.
Then give it back with a love more deep,
Then give it back with a life of more heat.

You will never break me
I can do that by myself
I’ve seen in my life’s undertaking
There’s very chances at help

Every moment is waking
Even when eyes are closed
As I slumber, the ground is quaking
What I’ll wake to, I don’t know

There will always be this fear
Just in different increments
Anxiety dwelling near
And the things it presents

No pity is wanted
This is said for understanding
There caverns of my mind are haunted
By wound, by weight, by branding

Don’t even try to push me
I am falling just fine
I’m not expecting any cushioning
But there’s a slight hope I’ll fly

The wings have yet to sprout out
Whether they will or not, who knows
We all crash, of that there is no doubt
But from it, not all of us grow

When they say my name I hope you hear waterfalls; my face flooding your entire brain. When you hear my name I hope you think of glass breaking and you picture my hands, scratched and bleeding, putting it all back together again. When you say my name, I hope you hear laughter. I hope you see smiles. And despite all my countless flaws, I hope you think of me when you want someone to stay awhile. When they say my name I hope it reminds you of breaking and healing all in one breath. When you think of me I hope you feel warm. I hope I’m someone you never regret.

I’ve had a lot of embarrassing moments in my life but the worst has to be when I finally had the courage to tell you I loved you and you replied with an unsettling silence. And the only sound that could be heard was my heart breaking in two.