hannah 2h

the dining of open flesh,
bares its bitter bourbon taste of silence
into a room masking murder with romance.

the disguise of trampled hedonistic elegance
from dead mouths, liberates black moons, stolen
from charcoal hairs of blood fed suns.

the devil pleads golden,
rinsing off broken souls,
pushing them to their belonging tides of famished sea.

lathering ashed breast bones prepare starving vessels
into hissing snakes, into a porcelain face.

banking celestial existence weeps into tortured passions,
feasting on self destruction.

a desired blackened grave blooms venom,
knotting its unnoticed self to daring victims,
harvesting a norm of perpetual sin,
dwelling real and unchangeable; like gravity.

the dining of open flesh,
swears its inevitability.

Alaska 5h

To never know how to describe how you feel is so terrifying.

Alaska 5h

It's okay to ask for help
       it is more than okay
you are not weak
       you are strong.

Rus 7h

Just because I'm a princess does not mean I need a knight
For in the depths of my being, I am already one.
To not be lost, I have no need for the moon and sun's light
For my heart shines brightly, all doubts crushed and gone.

Fairy tales often tell us there is a prince charming just waiting to swept us off our feet; a knight to fight our battles for us; a fairy god mother to grant us every wish. For so long, I believed this to be true. Only in the latter part that I've realized, that this belief is twisted. It sways us from the real fact that the strength to battle any hardships comes from within. We may get support from outside, but In the end, all left is ourselves to protect ourselves.
As we were born alone, we must learn to fight alone too, occasionally.

My melodious fire
Waves and weaves
Making a murder of wood
Delivering a birth of smoke
Those swirling cinders choking
Everything in sight

Breathing in one of death’s contagions
One by one they fall
Until there’s no call to order
Until there’s none left to perform for

The mob grew angry
My wrists, my ankles
Chained with briars
This an execution by my own desire
For I required an exit light here
Unclear liar lost in his lies here
Fear-shaken, no stakes in truth,
Fear-faking, I have no stake in you
So I pull up stakes
See you

I have no clue what I’m going to do
I get lost in myself
But myself I have yet to choose
These paradoxes and riddles
That plague and peeve my mind
Deceive me as I deceive them
Till we’re all left deceiving in kind
Till the other becomes the self
And the self melts away from being the better
Cluttered with curses from the past
This incompatible software overheats
Crashes fast
And now we’re back—
Fire.

I was once blind to such simple facts
Broken, silly tracks of thought off-track
Lines left carved up in the sand
The next day wiped away
By nature’s erasure or another’s hand

It is sand after all

But I gave up a pair
Received my true third eye
It's blind to these facts
The grains look all turned up and twisted
Spilling from my clenched fist
Like they’re seconds in my hourglass
So, my fellow pair-holders, I ask
Why take a second to grasp
So that a second in turn is given?
I see no bargain driven
Just a reality
In which
If you livin’ happily, serenely
You must be trippin’

Today's mood

At night is when it's bad
They come without warning
The nightmares come, making me sad
Making me cry from midnight to morning

Him slitting his wrists
It seems so real
Him disappearing into a mist
With a pain inside that won't ever heal

I can't get rid of the images
Of him about to jump
off a building causing his life to be finished
Taking my heart with him with a loud thump

Him in a coffin
The picture won't go away
It causes me to cry every so often
Making it hard to get through the day

So there you know
What I deal with at night
The nights are slow
With me crying and hoping to see the light.

Theses are my nightmares I've been having at night...

Looking for peace in a strangers embrace
Have I become a disgrace?
Living in poor taste
Am I so feeble
That I must rely on other people
Where is the doctor when I need her?
Prescribe me a pill to help me fulfill
All that I desire to be

Jaceeyy 1d

Another beauty product that was tried and tested
by models who are made to be perfected
Setting unreachable standards of beauty
To gain profit through everyone's insecurity

I have doubted myself, the process was hard and rough
I tried to conform to their standards but it was really tough
Until I realized I am not happy anymore, so I decided that I had enough.

I will not succumb to their standards anymore
I will instead love myself and see what's in store
And if ever my insecurities will strike again,
I will remind myself that I am strong and won't be broken

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that is true
So don't doubt yourself for no one can be like you
Being different is beautiful too
And someone will yet appreciate you

A warm summer breeze
sends clouds of dandelions
to swarm around my body.

They crash and glide,
spin and collide,
until they find their own way
to the ground.

Despite the heat,
my limbs are frozen together,
locked into place, while
my mind explores this empty town.

She’s there,
under the drifting shade of the dying oak tree,
watching me from afar,
waiting until I can see her sunlit countenance,
until I can know her.

My love,
the one my mind searches for
in the darkest alleys and
the jutting cliff sides of
my cavernous heart.

She lies in the shade,
just waiting for the moment when
the glimmering sun reveals her
identity, while
my persistent mind attempts to
distinguish characteristic features
within her impenetrable
silhouette.

But it can’t;
It never will.

When stubbornness and impatience
search for love,
only chaos breeds
and spreads
like fire in this lush, illuminating field.

The ash chokes the life
from the flowers before
they even get their chance to bloom,
and the deadly smoke lifts
to destroy my only chance
at beginning a life
with the one I love most,
my only chance
to understand my emotions enough
to see your beautiful face

Whoever’s it may be.

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