It's funny,
One day you were there,
The next day you were gone,
You found me alone and latched on and held me and showed me love.

You saw the worst parts of me,
You saw the best,
In my darkest times you were there,

When I wanted to die,
When everything to me was a lie,
You were there.

When Nothing and no one meant anything to me anymore,
Except you,
Yeah, you were there.

You were my rock, my shoulder to lean on,
When I needed a heart and a reason,
When I needed a best friend,
When I needed a lover and a home,
You were there.

The day my world collapsed,
The night I lost everything and cried,
When my mom decided to end her own life and I had nowhere to run,
You were there...

You held my hand through every moment,
Through every day I was scared,
Yeah,
You WERE there...

~Robert van Lingen








Now show me you care.

Scarlet M 17h

You were a newly engraved name
on my stone cold guarded heart;
I used to think the walls
I built were high enough,
but the moment I caught your eye
was the moment you caught my heart.

You entered my life, like a calm ocean,
and just like that I bared myself to you,
yes, you met me at my best,
and I guess that’s where our limit ends
for my worst you could not comprehend.

I admired you this much you see;
I cautiously offered my heart,
but it didn’t took long before it broke;
just like that, you left without any hesitation.

Not one feeling of regret, no second thoughts
not even an ounce left of consideration;
I remember standing still as I watched you walk away,
the pain grew in intensity and for the last time,
I heard my heart drop.

deery 1d

darling im lighting myself on fire to keep you warm

im breaking up with you
Lee 1d

I am sad.
why do I always let awful people ruin me?
he said he loved me.
he said I was perfect for him.
he said I was beautiful.
he said we were soul mates.
No More.
he said he hated me.
he said I was a slut.
he said I was a whore.
he said we were never meant to be together.
he threatened to kill himself if I left him
so I stayed.
I stayed and I let him manipulate me.
No More.
I'm not letting this happen anymore.
I'm not letting people use me anymore.
I'm not going to make myself miserable anymore.
I'm going to appreciate my life while I still have it.
too many young people die and I don't want to be one of them.
I want to get better.
I WILL get better.
I'm over being the mistreated one.
No More.

rest in peace tyrique. fuck Tennessee.

I. THE FALLING IN LOVE

i should have known

from how the very first thing you told me
was a lie, and your eyes captivated me,
perhaps because i could never read them;
you were a mystery

that it was wrong

for you to say you liked me, so soon
just because i brought you cookies
just because i did; i must have been so good
at falling in love that you thought
you were too

II. THE FALLING APART

i should have known

when you’d say you love me
but i’d find myself alone,
when i’m blue, when i’m in tears,
and you search for words
and come up empty

that it was wrong

except i’d gotten so used to it,
to making excuses, to finding comfort
in what you offered, to convincing myself
it meant more

III. THE HOLDING ON ANYWAY

i should have known

when i was too afraid to be honest; i knew
the hurt my words would cause; i knew
they could never be taken back, and that
we would both be left hollow

that it was wrong

if i ever hurt you i would have had to be
broken myself, shattered beyond repair; and
the bullet i would use to shoot you were the
pieces of metal i dug from my own heart
with shaking hands

i should have known
that it was wrong

and i did,

but i thought that if i kept quiet you would
never notice and i would rather live with you like
this, because you disable the ticking time bomb
of my heart and in its place a dull ache,
throbbing instead of beating, and because
if you left, no one would care if i exploded

I feel the blood rushing out of my nostrils like bats out of hell
Pieces of the mirror that once hung on the wall litter the floor
You did it you lost it
BOOM
SNAP
CRASH
Here we are
I collapse and lean against the wall
I stare at all the posters that cover my wall
Pages from an artificial personality to fit in
I am a conformed jaded sad soul
convinced no one in the world will turn my half into a whole
My last name will die with me
sorry grandpa guess there was never that much of a man in me
As I sit in a daze I think of all the late nights spent with purple haze
How I could've done something good with my time but I let it all slip away to insecure to handle change
I have a PHD in pushing my loved ones away
The blood has dried and the swelling has set in
O' lord I have my doubts
will this whiskey cleanse me for my sins
A blurred figure enters the room I can't tell who it is
my eyes had swollen to the size of grapefruits
unable to see
no will to move
I simply sit there as my mind exits consciousness

I know I've felt happy lately
But you don't see how close
The darkness really is
Threatening my neck with every step

I am ashamed of what I've done
To you and others alike
But that's why I'm trying to change
It's why I'm growing into a better person

Believe it or not
Worrying too much about others is
At least in part
Why I've hurt so many people
I try to save these broken people
But I hurt them more in the end
Because I was listening to their desires
Without thinking about myself
Without realizing what I truly feel

Trust me for once
It isn't easy to live this life
I am not proud of my past
I am not proud of my choices
But I really am trying
I really am changing

I know you think it's too late
But there's nothing that could change
The fact that I hurt you this bad
All I can do is learn from my mistakes
And stop myself from hurting anyone else

Because even though I'm happier these days
I still hate myself for what I've done
You think I'm standing on the bones
Of the lovers who I've hurt
Just to get myself ahead
But those skeletons live in my mind
And they're not tucked nicely away in closets
They're scattered in unexpected places
Drowning me in endless flashbacks
Burning the skin where they've touched me
Their goodness destroyed by my darkness
Those memories destroy me
But I'm trying to get better

And since I can't change the past
That's all I have to hold on to

she said she loves me but
she’s a dream and
i was asleep.
i mistook the disease for
little lovelies for
warm and fuzzies for
cornfields with bumblebees.
i’m brought to my knees
from the silliest of things,
it’s easy to see something crazy
without empathy.

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