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Time Is not a problem to me anymore retired from the rat race that we know as working life but financially no better
But unlike Helen I have no fear of dying not that any braver but life Is not quite the same  now
I'm on my
Perhaps the only thing that bother's me Is we have no say how we go but no fears of closing my eyes do I
for If had my way that's the way I would go with last thoughts In my head being of Helen and I'd happily go to perminate
sleep Imagining her back In my arms
so today tonight tomorrow or whenever just as long as I go this way more than happy to close my eye perminately just happy to drift
A M Ryder Apr 24
Bagging groceries has given me
A strange window into people's lives

I stuff their secrets into a paper sack
And I tell them to have a good day

But I'm not sure they do
Johnny walker Apr 15
I woke this morning with my head still clouded from last nights dreams, with a future uncertain but at least I know we have one and that makes the
For there was a time after Helen died  I didn't even I'd make past tomorrow felt I had reason to carry
on but strength saw me through all of the sadness and sorrow
followed the loss of my wife a belief In myself that lay hidden away by grief but found again the strength that lay hidden that's enabled me to fight my back from
to again stake a claim on a life that I so nearly gave up on but through strength and the love and total dedication for my wife will be enough to see me through the rest of my days
A strength regained that had laid hidden by grief a strength
to never give up
Johnny walker Apr 11
Many times over the last few weeks I've travelled mind
to searched my
and having done so, I can't find any guilt for wanting to change my life and move
So I have no problem now In moving on It has taken many months to reach this
point In my life many souls searching
But now I feel I've arrived
at the point In my life and
I feel comfortable moving
on but Helen's will still be here with
I know she's happy for me I can feel that, Helen and I
we're close and believe
If Helen didn't approve any of my decisions she'd find a way to let me know
Helen hasn't so I know she Is ok with everything I have decided to do I spent
over year and half of total dedication to
every second minute hour of every one of those days written over a twelve hundred poems but never stopped writing
her and never will and Helen I believe she knows this and she's happy with everything
that I plan on doing because that was
the person she was I owe
Helen so much for all she did for
I owe Helen so much for all she did for me In life, the likes of her I'll never  again
Johnny walker Apr 11
A dream I have of going to America, to see a friend who lives In Texas, one last wish before I leave this
And one day soon, I hope my dream will come true
then no longer a dream but becomes
For I see chance In life to live happy again through my friend who came to
For one day soon I pray my friend and I will meet so I can thank for all her kindness shown to
I have this dream to travel to America to see my friend who lives In Conroe Lake Texas, to where my dream now do
Helen although sadly she is gone, I speak to her
and told her of
go live your life there's no more you can do, Johnny make the most of what time you have left, try
love again don't waste what time you have left In this life just be happy and  know you have
I have a dream one day soon all will become a reality and longer just a dream and meet my friend
one day
I know I have Helen's blessings and she approves if my friend Terry she wants me to waste my life being sad every day
but try and make a new life
Twice In a lifetime I never
would have believed, but
It looks like It's true for
me, I've won In my
life and
but now I've won again for the second time around In a lifetime of pain, happiness sadness
and loss
but almost as If Terry and I have Helen's blessing because not once have I ever tried to compare these two wonderful
ladies In my
but can't really put Into words I love Helen and Terry equally they both different
personalities but this friendship with Terry as never ever felt
wrong as
If where destined neither of went looking we just found each other by
a poetry site almost as If fate has shown Its hand for the second time In my
so I'm not going to let this
what Is probably my last opportunity for
happiness Into my life slip away, I know Terry and I, have Helen
because Helen would  find a way to let me know by making me feel guilty which I've never
felt with
Terry but before I became friends with Terry
If I have ever tried or
even just thought about
a friendship with anyone else, I feel guilty, but I shall stay
to Helen she'll never be forgotten, I will continue to write poems about her and will keep my promise to her that I shall always remember
It's as If fate has shown Its hand for the second time In my life and my friendship with
Terry as always felt right never felt guilty as If Helen has given her blessing to both Terry and me
Through poetry writing, I believe to be gifted to me
to Inspire and help others
less fortunate than
No ticket to Heaven required I do this purely out of love wanting to help
encourage others starting out poetry
To write what they love and believe In no matter what stick with their believes
never listen to people telling them their poetry Is not good enough or telling to change their
you like an artist who paints stay with what you believe and stick with It regardless
You be rewarded as I was with my late wife Helen to whom I promise In life always to write her a poem and never
but after Helen passed on I wrote my first poem thinking that would be my last but since that first poem I've written well over
thousand some not so good some rewrites but since last September I've Improved so
through the encouragement of fellow poets through their comments and especially by reading their poetry true Inspiration they have
me and I've made wonderful friends through the poetry site I have so much to be grateful for so long live poetry that has given me a new meaning to
I consider poetry writing to be a gift first to have paid tribute to my wife but also to spread love around help other In needs but for self gain keeping promise making people smile that's where my rewards come
There's a smile on my face today starting to remember of the good times Helen and I had gradually forgetting all
the bad
laid here looking at our wedding photo and thinking although Helen's gone
I was so lucky to have the twenty years with her
some people don't even find true love
I had that, It far better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all, this I've
I have to be grateful for my time with Helen who gave me a son who has grown Into a wonderful young man
I have so much to be grateful for, It would be an absolute sin to waste what time I have left In this
being miserable so I'm not going to, I am coming back reality I will not be beaten for I'm to
for that I have gained all of this strength  through the Inspiration given to by my
Helen has given me the strength to carry on, through her Inspiration has made a much stronger person
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