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To be *****
Is to become so numb
You have to be triggered to feel
Anything at all.
The absence of pain
Is a pain in and of itself.
Darren 3d
Creeping up
A silent foe
Breaking him down
Nice and slow

Crushing all
Hopes and dreams
Bravery fading
silent screams

Fighting on
War and peace
Just to get
A partial release

A little confidence
Suddenly lost,
One step forwards
The ultimate cost

Walls built
A safe distance
Hiding the world
From his existence

A man in a cave
Keeping away
Building the courage
To battle today

Invisible injury
A runaway train
Mental illness
Significant pain

Weakness…
It's how it's perceived
Colleagues find…
It hard to believe

Trauma consumes
His fragile mind
He seeks a spot
That's hard to find

Lack of remorse
Absent support
Pushing him
To obvious thoughts

Away from the public
Away from the noise
Away from the world
He said his goodbyes

Discovered alone
Discovered too late
Discovered the body
Discovered his fate

Tears shed
Guilt ridden hearts
Talking history
Picking him apart

Realisation
Lack of due care
Former colleague...

Empty chair

By Darren Wall
It's World Mental Health Day today. I have changed an old poem that speaks from the heart. Although I have never had the intention, I have seen the damage it can have on families.

I'm grateful that the world acknowledges Mental Health each year, but this illness should not be confined to a day. Awareness, support, empathy and understanding should be instilled in us all every single day.

Colleagues, friends and family. We need to support each other to reduce the number of suicides in the world.

Speak up, communicate and prevent the trauma affecting the families that lose someone they love.

Take care all ***
It all began in dance class
When I first felt small
Standing in the back of the lines
Where no one could see me at all

Fast forward to middle school
Where the girls who looked like me
Were never the topic of conversation
Like I always dreamt to be

Even when highschool rolled around
It was still never about me
Always some other fair skinned beaut
Who i’d constantly compared to thee

And when I finally did steal a heart
Guess how it began and ended?
Another girl came into the picture
Which whom I had to contend with

My history of love & relationships
Definitely isn’t one for the books
Just painful memories I try to wash away
Because I never had “the look”

That’s the reason I’m always triggered
Because all my life I’ve had to compete
I just want someone to look at me and think
“**** my life is finally complete.”
October 8 2019. 10:26pm. Here we go again **
Laura 5d
Visions of ****
And burglary
Dance around in my head
As darkness creeps over me
And I turn on all the lights
In my empty apartment
When you're not here
I toss and turn
Through the night
Popping sleeping pills
Just to catch a wink
Daydreams turn into
Night terrors
As the dog barks
At every little noise
Making me aware
Of all the scary things
Outside my window
Someone knocks at my door
But I'm not expecting company
Even with the deadbolt
I don't feel safe
In this big empty bed of mine
As I sleep alone
Get out
Go away,
I've been working hard
For too many days.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Not with you there
Herding all my sheep.

Get out
Go away,
My head's so full
And heavy with clay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Afraid of monsters
That are sure to creep.

Get out
Go away,
I never said
That you could stay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Could end it all
With just... one... leap...
(c) Alliso Wonder
Touch me
Burn me
Hurt me
Break me
Ache me
Caress me
Kiss me
Cuddle me
Feel me
Hit me
Rub me
Taste me
***** me
...**** me
(c) Allison Wonder
10/8/19
I am yours,
Or so it seems.
I give my all,
My everything.
Every night,
You continue to take.
My silent screams,
"I'll break! I'll break!"
But still you chase,
Still you win.
And once again,
I’ll give in.
I give my all,
My everything.
Because I am yours,
Or so it seems.
(c) Allison Wonder
10/8/19
Come in
Slide behind
Start our rythm
Get on your grind
Forget my feelings
I'm losing my mind
Don't need real life
To you I'm blind
Can feel every ache
Wish I could rewind
Know I'll always be hurt
To you I am confined
Just waiting for the day
To be reassigned
(c) Allison Wonder
10/7/19
Static begins to swarm inside me,
Scratching,
As panic erodes my veins,
Numbing,
As I,
Drop,
Knees shaky as they kiss the floor,
I'm screaming, calling, reaching for you

Why are you weeping?

Found, ****** with tears,
Shaking,
Realizing it's not me you're afraid of,
Smeared now,
Tap, tap, tap,
She's back

Distorted, run by fear, she is me,
Yet no,
She's younger, paralyzed in time unwillingly,
Coming back to warn me,
I've been here before.
She's in control,
Watching,
Says once more, I need you to know,
You've been here before.

PTSD, you see,
It runs me,
Yet PTSD goes by she,
Don't be afraid by she, is me,
And you know me,

Right?
LaFayette Oct 6
It’s really strange to pay you
To find out who I am in this head
Maybe I should just talk to a mirror
It would at least be cheaper

I came in to talk about suicide
And now we are all over the place
Now I have PTSD and a divorce
But at least I know why I’m crazy

What do you mean I’m not ready
To run out and find another wife?
I don’t see how too few months
Means I’m too messed up to love

Actually, you are probably right
I probably just need to find a lay
Be honest and forthright about me
But get the hell out of there after

Thanks for the session
It was certainly enlightening
I’m no less crazy then before
But now at least I know it
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