The fear broke off my breath My body frozen in weakness Is this my time for death Seeing my world with bleakness With a screaming soul I scream God’s Name Needing to be whole Rescue me and this pain I can’t do this alone Necessity is my thunder Enrapture to your throne To never be asunder You come in like a flood Loving me ever and ever For sacrifice and your blood Never Your Hand to sever Healing to all my scars Giving I my hand Embraced by all the stars For fear, now I can stand
hanging onto the present by my fingertips my eyelids are falling shut and as much as I try to fight it draws me in tricks me manipulates me and before I know it I'm consumed by memory
and I'm back there my arm wrenched behind my back outnumbered six to one screaming and screaming was though that will somehow make me less helpless their hands grip so hard I can almost feel my wrist breaking and my heart throbbing in my head just so so helpless
and then I'm lying on the hard floor cryingandcryingandcrying whispering to myself you're safe you're safe you're safe it's gonna be ok it's gonna be ok it's gonna be ok but I know deep down neither of those cliché statements will ever be true for I can still feel their hands on me months later 'cause I'm drowning
In matters of love I am expertly naive. The scars on my arms, my heart, and mind covered and deep. And I have learned my lessons, learned to ask myself questions with every move I make every smile I fake. Maybe I long for the heartache of losing love. The pain lets me know I'm alive though every breath I take is shallow, and I keep opening up to let the knives inside.
My intuition is always proved right, and the cycle of pain, numbing, and healing continues.
Holding scars on shallow soul! Struck in dark loopholes!! Faking smiles! Behaving the way i am supposed to.. Towards all those adversities I am exposed to. Waking up with tender eyes, Loosing myself in disguise!! Dodging my own self! Hiding all my emotions in deep shelves!! Blaming every possible reason for this void, It's always there, even if I try to avoid.
Becoming something I an not.. Being happy by heart feels too hard than I've ever thought!!
With this poem I've tried to define the way I feel.. everyone wants to be with cheerful souls, many times we have to pretend happy even when we are not.. especially when we don't know the reasons making us feel depressed.