If I were to ask you
Why are you doing this?
What would your answer be?
What exactly would you say to me?
I'm curious
Would it mirror other hard questions
That I have been forced to ask
Forcing me to watch you get furious
Leaving me reeling, feeling like the fool
Because I took this serious

©2024

Laying motionless on a riverbed,
Drowning at rock bottom constantly
I hate to admit it but
That's where you'll most commonly find me
No landmarks, no marked miles,
Got lost on the back roads to recovery
I finally pulled out of this nosedive of false certainty
Just to expectedly fall back into the same trajectory
Distractions follow closely,
Waiting to complicate the wrong actions I already make consistently
That's a disastrous recipe
That's what has made my present day a fraction of what I think it oughta be
This has to be far more than what I have coming to me
Like what I've repaid triggers karma's selective memory

©2024

I don't have any answers
I can't recall the right questions
Even with makeshift blinders
I find myself open to suggestions
I've had enough with these reminders
I catch a glimpse of the problem in reflections
Dark and light are missing critical dividers
Please help, can't tell angels from demons?
We three share the same voice as Pinocchio nose liers
What road is it they say is paved with the best intentions?
Something about a destination of eternal fires...
Eh, it's a moot point now,
I fly by the stairway, going 107 on the highway, it's one way, no need for directions

©2024

I'm not in a good place, it's written all over my face with a permanence I can not erase
The ace up my sleeve turned out to be a joker with my super imposed face
Lost in the twisted maze that is my head space, I'd chase the cheese but it'd be a waste
Fear infused with a terror base so potent you swear it almost has a taste
The dark haze of my past short circuits any new interface
Filled with a technology way out of date but never had the means to replace
I watch the life I thought I'd be a part of race by at a dizzy pace
But it always made time to come back 'round and knock the taste out my mouth like 808 base
Then leaves post haste without a trace before catchin' a case
Just one more missing personality cold case, chalk it up to another looser fallen from grace
They say to pick yourself up by you boot straps, I'm always breakin' the shoe lace
Bet they didn't think I'd use the bootlace to replace the slipknot necklace I misplaced
The bright young man with aspersions worth the chase now incased in blue skin wearing deaths face

©2023

I do not like it, Sam I Am, I do not like the quite
I fear it when it's silent
Simply keeping the mind busy elevates the possibility the personalities wont riot
As a particular thought client takes centerstage the voices get defiant
Internal chaos runs rampant, so prevalent one finds oneself reliant
Negativity plays with anxiety out in the open in spite of the velvet lined casket
The soil tilled from conception permitted the growth of this poisonous plant
That sprung up out of nowhere, ill prepared, on an almost alien planet
Body longevity becomes insignificant when the need shifts to a mind and soul transplant
Whether a desired life or one deserved, you can't keep it like a secret, people are going to catch a peek of it
The remedy is absolute though illicit, hell, what isn't
The catch?
It's permanent

©2024

Damaged by my damage plan
Igniting the burn ban
Been soaked in societies poison
Snap at every helping hand
Don't like me?
Well guess what?
We agree
I'm also not a fan
Ideas pulled from a porcelain can
Strangers bull excrement,
Fills my allotted bed pan
The crash is imminent,
But where & when will I land?
Problems equivalent
To the individual grains of beach sand
From sea to shining sea and,
Across the land
No one has ever out run it,
Can't understand why I ran
BUT
I'm sugar cookie bland
Therefore I do understand getting caught,
'Cause I am not
A gingerbread man

©2024

I sit in this empty room
But I'm not the only one in here
I went and let my demons out
They produce then they feed on my fear
Been here many times before,
More times than I can ignore
I won't shed another wasteful tear
What good's all this crying for?
Both my tear ducts are sore
And it's the same year after year after year

©2024

Nothing's
Amazing
That phrasings
Misleading

It's meaning
Is trending
Ascending
And blending

It's bleeding
To feelings
Reseeding
All learning

Refracting
Distracting
Everlasting
And confusing

Leaching
Overreaching
Reacting
No thinking

This god things
No blessing
Keep pretending
It has meaning

©2023

Nothing can rise
Beyond the clouds in the skies
As long as we demoralize
Every imaginative spirit that tries

©2024

In fits of rage
And bouts of pain
I recall all you said to me
And I pound my fists
Against your memory
Till they bruise and bleed
And I concede
And you succeed
In breaking me finally
But in a twist of fate
That's what it took to be freed

©2024

I couldn't tell you why
Sometimes I don't try
But I'll look you dead in the eye
And swear I can not tell a lie
Which of course, in itself, is always a lie

©2024

••••••
Inspired by
Krista Delle Femine
~Still the Fool~
••••••
I always find myself here
With little to no explanation
I'm thinking it's because I elicit fear
They avoid my intensity
Every bombastic and overcharged emotion that overflowes from me
I believe they mean to
But they seem to pull themselves through
It's always something I did
Or didn't do
It's so much rejection
I've lost track of the lesson
It's only humility
And wanting from someone
Something they don't have for me
They often pretend
Put up a good front and deny the lie
I have to keep all of me inside
And leave it for everyone else to interpret what one of my issues it could be
Then it falls on me
Only on me
We don't have to wait and see
What I can't be
Even alone I can't be free
Not really
I'm still the fool writing about this
Letting them live rent free in my poetry

©2024

I melt like ice on a hot plate
Like a candle to a flame
All I know is pain
Though it now sits as an unforgettable stain
The receptors were never meant too sustain
The onslaught like constant rain
Proving to be too much to maintain
I now feel nothing,
Teetering on the cusp of insane
Not unfamiliar terrain
I recognize fears domain
Spent a lot of time on that plane
Where a single step forward is a strain
And one look back can reattach the chain
Scars from a dangerous brain
Are the only parts of the original me that remain
If need be,
Look for my face in the wood grain

©2024

I fear him
The him I carry inside
It doesn't control the heart
But it controls the mind
I'm afraid to go in there
Because I'm afraid of what I'll find
Me looking blankly back at me
The me I know has basically died

©2025

"I'll be back" threat or promise?
It's always back regardless
"Stay in your own lane"
Player one syndrome inflates the brain
"Have a nice day" not a curse
At the same time "enjoy your next 24" sounds so much worse
"Here's what you're in store for"
Is what you're gonna pay for
"No pain, no gain"
Different levels of insane
"Yo, I got sooo high"
Careful not to get stuck in the sky
"Pick yourself back up"
More often dumb luck
"First things first..."
Then substance and thirst
"Righting a wrong"
Whether right or wrong
"Gotta play to win"
Sometimes a win's a sin
Who has your back, a friend?
Then who stabs it at the end
"What you see is what you get"
Most won't get it
"Face your fear"
Pretend you don't hear
"Live carefree"
Die instantly
"And that's that"
Always the same black cat
"One step forward,
Two steps back" and cornered
"Chase your dreams forever"
A nightmare's a dreams that doesn't fight fair, so no, never

©2024

This is some creation creators best?
Eh,
I'm not impressed
I'd hate to see the attempts that failed the test
Must have been monstrous
Hopefully not but most likely numerous
And the couple that was decided on turned out to be a complete mess
Brought on solely by his hubris
Pointless details distract from what comes next
Switching focus from the main quest
To put damages to rest
Staring directly into the dumpster fires conquest,
I notice,
Life as we know it will burn out like the rest
And we've learned nothing from a history that literally leaves no reason to guess

©2024

Let me recite a line borrowed from an old poem of mine about pain and sorrow,
"Release is a crucial element for any chance to get a better future from tomorrow"
While life has taken many shots at me, I seem to be supplying the ammo
By this point it's fully equipped, got 'em armed to the teeth like Rambo
Why would I be held responsible if, let's say, one day, the relief value was a no show
Let me guess, you don't know
That's not an aura of envy, my anger feeds the green glow
And nobody likes me when I'm angry so
I must open the valve and let things go whenever possible
I apologize ahead of time if you get hit with the flow

©2024

Who knows
How many more of those
Devastating blows
From life's twisted episodes
I can take
Before I get exposed
And everybody knows
This smile's a fake,
Adorned like over warn costumes on Broadway shows

©2024

Death is silent
It has no tongue
It has no voice
For it does not need to speak
Death does not ignore the pleas
It has no ears to hear them
It has no soul to feel them
It is the only inevitable
The only guarantee
It sends no warning
Most likely never see it coming
There is only false hope
A lie we all try to convince ourselves of
But feared or not
Welcomed or not
It comes all the same
Family name, from where you came
It cares not
For no other reason than it needs not care
Arriving to take away what defines the living
It can not be tricked
It can not be bardered with
No heart strings to pull
It hasn't a brain in its skull
It can not decide one way or another
For it is not given an order
It just is
But the same can be said about life
As you can not have one without the other

2024

I mean, it's kinda funny
The punishment for life is the death penalty, that's literally the only true guarantee
Alterations void the warranty and there's no return policy, which I guess if fine honestly
But you can only rotate the tires so many times before it no longer matters
A crash will become eminent and just like the windshield, your future also shatters
No one's looking for a clock with a erratic tick and a broken tock
A polished **** advertised with a tiny sign as a shiny rock
Occasionally found screaming at nothing as frustration fills the body and muddies the mind
A full breakdown, stuck behind a roadblock, this time one of your own design
Trained by history to take every word heard with a pinch of salt
Cold and bitter, but is it by default?
Is it truly all my fault?
...why was I in such a hurry to be an adult...?
I'm gonna go make a fort and sort this all out

©2024

iNNER THOUGHTS BECOME INTENSE
aS THEY PICK APART IT'S OWN DEFENSE
mAKING DOOM PREDICTIONS AT IT'S OWN EXPENSE
fINDING A NEED TO RELIEVE SUSPENSE
hENCE THE ARRANGEMENT OF LETTERS INTO WORDS THAT MAKE SENSE
tHE TRANSLATION ITSELF IS A JUMBLED MESS
tHE CRANIUM FEELS FAR TOO DENSE
wHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?
lOVE AND HATE IN THE SAME CONTENTS
rUSH TO TAKE OFFENSE
cAN NEVER GET IT OUT BEFORE  THE CRACK UP AND BREAKDOWN COMMENCE

©2024

I'll be better here sometime right before never,
I swear
Not trying to be clever
I'm being sincere
Just can't assign a specific timeline to recover
I've tried it,
Found it only helped set up the next failure
The one that's already lurking around each and every corner
I stand defiant, against my own self preservation order,
Almost daring it to leap from the darkness a couple corners sooner
I'm not trying to be negative either
Life is an iffy endeavor
But I don't not get it,
I can see it from the view of the average observer
It's gotta look like a recipe for disaster
But it's better than what I see in the mirror
Something I won't need a memory to remember
Branding me with this, scared flesh on each wrist,
A gut wrenching reminder
The kind that can only linger forever
Stalking me from the edge of what I'll be able to remember
But it'll get better...
...they swear

©2024

The words you spoke to me,
What feels like a century ago actually,
Still haunt me
Mocking me constantly
The rabid hostility
The unbridled brutality
Back then that's all I could see
At the time I was only capable of being angry
It took twenty plus years for me to finally
Recognize it for what it was, a difficult piece of honesty
From a friend I called family, and I'm not one to use that term lightly
But now you're no longer here to hear my apology
So I say my sorry
And hope it catches up with you eventually

©2024

Here I stand, in one hand I've more knowledge than ever
A better comprehension in the other
But no third hand, arm, and shoulder
All needed if you hope to discover and then be a supporter
Of that impossibly elusive answer
Now fewer than ever and always less than the day before
Watching compassion wash away with the tears from the eyes of a lover
As I try in desperation to prove a mear possibly, maybe we're better together
Before the search begins and what's wanted is what's found in another
And I'm left to wonder the vastness of forever without my chosen partner
Alone, not wanting to, once again, risk going public with my server
That fear leads me here, to a future where I put all hope in never
And yes, you don't have to tell me, I'm well aware...
...I know that makes this a hopeless endeavor

©2024

I always forget to remember lessons from the last failure, therefore I'm forever havin' to start all over, my own personal torcher chamber
It creates this culture of fear that I can't get over, the chip on my shoulder staked on the bolder that's already there
A taunting whisper on loop saying it'll never get better, cursed with bad days, one after another
Try to fudge the numbers, facts don't lie but memories blur, every passing day recollection gets harder
I had this thought in the shower, your heart beat is just a countdown to your last breath and death is just a new beginning to forever
Should I still follow my dreams if it's a recurring nightmare? Only the loser says the other didn't fight fare
Only the winner gets their name in the paper unless it's a smear campaign so staying out of the conversation is safer
Where's the line between assassination and ******? And what's the difference between an unwanted guest and intruder?
Does a lamb know about the slaughter? Does the hand know it can take a life without being given an order?
Which is shorter I wonder, the path to greatness or to a personality disorder, my dark passengers a backseat driver
So it's all in how you frame the picture, have a nice day sounds less threatening than enjoy your next 24
Who decides what will occur? How much more can I endure? Roll the dice and hope they don't shatter
Matter of fact I pray for just enough to make it to the next day not knowing there's no listener
God ain't there and if he is he doesn't care or doesn't know the answer either
Either that or he to has given up on this fallen soldier all together, abandoned by my supposed creator
I don't make an hourly wage, I sell chunks of my life for pennies on the dollar
Some one, somewhere is listening to the last song they'll ever hear
Could be me, right now, right here, no way to tell till after then it's to late to alter
Masking anxiety with witty banter, no alter ego just another dark passenger, this time he's riding shotgun like one in the chamber
One personality is hard enough to keep front and center, take one down but there's always another, I am just fodder
The split is wether to move forward or quit all together, don't know which is better
Tried divide and conquer, another failure, tried to find a new harbour but couldn't pull the anchor

Got control of my anger just to immediately lose the battle, instantly falling outta the saddle
I thought I wasn't supposed to get more than I could handle, I guess that's just another cryptic riddle
Starting to feel old testament biblical, the punishment for mistakes are astronomical no matter how miniscule
Almost feels personal, maybe I'm part of some sadistic ritual, forced to be a part of it, no consent, held against my will
Little did I know I could walk away and be okay still, no one told me the rules making every move futile
Trying a different approach, going vocal, begging for mercy in vain but hopeful
An ineffectual campaign, the struggle was always inevitable, my thoughts not believable
Not even a credible witness to my own life, how is this even possible?
Well, cranial damage is plausible due to hitting every obstacle head on, brain almost falling out of my skull
Life is the train light at the end of the tunnel while I'm mid tunnel on a stationary bicycle
Rock bottom was the pinnacle of my life, cynical doesn't even begin to describe what drives my mental
Keep it all in to avoid the hospital, trapped lightning in a bottle but couldn't get a grip on its broke handle
Already sold my soul, not to the devil but to the people and the return on my investment was far from equal
The colossal difference was they got the best of me and I was left an empty shell
Tried to fill it but it now looks like a landfill, a trash receptacle, the overflow of garbage unavoidable
Completely full of hurt and pain, I pray there's no sequel but I just saw the preview commercial so I guess it's ******* official
But even before dress rehearsal I took myself out of the circle knowing it wouldn't be merciful, devouring me whole
Besides, the demon inside stole the show and convinced me I was evil and deserve to not go any further than my current window
I accepted it cause it's all I know, brittle and fragile, will I made it to another day? Doubtful, the outcome predictable
If written out the how come would be longer than the bible so just take my word for it so you're not liable
Life itself is my rival, and now spiteful has replaced delightful and forced the downward spiral
The life or death questions I scream at the sky come nightfall are being treated as rhetorical
And there's no capable Oracle these days so I'm on my own to wrestle this powerful, never ending dose of trouble
Stepped out of my comfortable bubble once before and it was brutal
Promised myself never again but it's not that simple, every attempt pitiful

Wish me luck

©2022

Casper
That's the name they gave me
The intentions weren't friendly
They used it mockingly
Albeit creatively
Because my skin was alabaster pasty,
I was Jack Skelington skinny
And, apparently,
My blond hair and blue eyes weren't manly
So then,
I embraced it and turned it on them ceremoniously
No more Casper the Friendly,
Just Casper the Deadly
Turned to the ghost that gave nightmares to Freddy
Made the devil look heavenly
That persona went at any and every enemy
But now that I'm 40
I've let that part of me leave me
Though it was the only part of me that believed in me
The scratched up side of my flipped penny
...I miss is secretly...

©2024

...that's an ice cold strategy
Some shifty savagery
To tell me I have the luxury
Of not having to deal with family
But you know me
So you know that's the only thing I've ever wanted,
And you use it against me
Part of what make you so special to me,
Is you are essential to me
I say that knowing it's probably
Not a healthy way to be
You're all I have essentially
You could never possibly lose everything
But me?
I'm about to be

©2024

I've been searching all life long
Placing my bets
Amidst all my missteps

Listening to the same ol' song
Dancing on gass soaked briquettes
Risky as it gets

Find me between right and wrong
Racking up debts
And future regrets

My self hatred is strong
Setting precedents
With no true benefits

Only ever told I'm wrong
No corrective steps
Only more empty threats

Just wanted to belong
But that's too complex
Don't want to know what's next...

...out beyond the smouldering bridges and life threatening safety nets...

...my residence

©2024

No time to find a piece of mind
Tried and lost it all this time
Beg to be kind and please rewind
But this ain't 1989

©2023

{revised edition}

Can two people be too broken to know what they have goes further than what's spoken?
Can two people be too broken to hold it together despite every knee **** reaction?
Can two people be too broken to pick the right fights amidst the amateur crimes of passion?
Can two people be too broken?
Yes
And I think that we might
I know the answer whilst holding no solution
©2024

I don't know who I think I am, but I ain't
Ain't shiit, ain't a saint, track record ain't great
I battle free will and fate over ornate quips with no stake in reality but won't vacate
I'll always acknowledge everyone that has filed a legitimate complaint
I eat nonstop, still too much on my plate
With this much weight, it's gonna break
Losses stacking at an alarming rate
Losing track of where I'm at in this debate
The one on good and evil and people that doesn't seem to translate
Breathed life into a mistake
I'm what I thought he couldn't make
But here I am
With almost nothing left at stake
Never heard the last boarding call whistle for moving on, left stranded at the departure gate
It never has before, I don't know why I thought it would wait
And being in the state of mind I'm in, my best guess for what the **** is happenin' is not elaborate
I was simply destin to be too late
Or maybe it was destiny that was early but I shouldn't fixate
'Cause either way, the screen says game over and on the board...
...checkmate

©2024

I wonder if an eye for an eye means you'll never worry about a sty
You try and you try to comply but still see yourself go from zero to bad guy
{Never clarify a why}
You know as well as I, if possible at all they will always present the lie
And who needs to justify why it is what it is when what it is something we'll never get to try

Please stand by...

No one will be with you shortly, this journey is set up to be very lonely
It's just you and you buddy, Superman's strictly literary and there's no name at all on the bologna
{Look closely}
Monopoly's a better show of character then any therapy, decide for yourself if that's comedy or tragedy
Money is invested in more cautiously than time and family

Is there any calm to this calamity?

There's no depth to our shallowness, told it helps move along the progress
The process? Well, that's a little harder to digest, we digress with every test
{Failures are countless}
Direct protest to this nonsense that's pressed into every crevice
Some kind of life sentence, a guilty plea agreed upon with no victim or eye witness

What even is this?

Escape one bad dream only to find yourself awake in a worst nightmare
Nothing in here fights fair, I'm not aware of any rules posted anywhere
{I can feel the crosshair}
I don't want to be any part of this twisted love affair between god and Lucifer
Figure it out, don't ******* up there, I'll purch on YOUR shoulder, whisper crazy into your ear

Let's see who fears who here...

©2023

Knuckles go white as I grip my rescue flair
Read the warning through a blinkless stare
Pressed the thing tightly to my temple,
Count to three,
To keep it simple
Hold very still,
Steady as a thimble
'Till the very last second
Pull away on the second e in "one, two, three"
And release it to the night air
At least tonight the fight's fare
I can't make it to there
If I don't end this right here

©2024

Crimes gone on and on and against all humanity with a refusal to ever scrutinize
Twist the rule of law to accommodate the blatant lies they prioritize on both sides
That's the American dream, can only be seen behind closed eyes
Allowed to look but can't touch the prize, that's the hook, the bait and switch slight of hand is no surprise
A separate set of law books slipped in on the sly, guess the compromise
One for the citizen and one for the almighty enterprise, just dollar signs in their eyes
All for one and one for all, false bravado, see what happens when a nobody tries
See how quick a global problem is prioritized to keep in check a global unrest notably on the rise
Also on the rise, fear of a population turned unbiased congregation then weaponized
Who exactly are the good guys? If it's a non zero number I'd be surprised
Who would have guessed that building an enterprise on the lives of the little guys would be a possible demise?

🎼If you go into my neck of the woods prepare for a big surprise
A lone baby cries it's own lullabies through innocent eyes as innocence dies
The evil in people is all that thrives, it's never been the best of times🎼

©2023

Shamelessly flaunting a "good life" but never own it
They're only snapshots of good times and staged moments
You've only come across carefully selected, rookie opponents
Never felt how hard struggle hits
But...
What about when the floor drops out and a new rock bottom is found?
What about when the relentless doubt is the only thing registering as sound?
It's a generic cliche but a legitimate thing to say,
Who are you when judgment isn't around?
Do you explode in secrecy if to tightly wound?
Do you trust what stops the breakdown from happening in front of a crowd?
When you can't distinguish between right and wrong, when up seems down
When "elementary my dear Watson" proves too profound
When inner thoughts are unbound
When your own mind releases the hellhound
When you lose the comfort and security of solid ground
Control and reason give way to confusion and treason and all you can do is lie and say "change is inbound"
Would exposing the real you leave those closest to you confound?
See,
They say there's two sides to every story
I believe the same is true for every personality,
So I'm just asking around

©2024

(Chorus)

...and she said,
"We don't have to stand it here, we can go anywhere
Find a place to call a home and build our storybook future there
If not here then where? Can't we find that anywhere?
A destination with no journey seems to me to be unfair
Some god, somewhere, already answered my prayer
Cause I'm here and you're there..."

©2023

If you gotta pick one over the other
Go with the other
Because if it was the one
There wouldn't be another

©2024

Inside this inconspicuous figure
Is a heart and mind that conspire together
To trigger my rage heavy splendor
That works out for me never
Too clueless to share how but somehow aware
Somewhere in there is fear
Even if just a sliver
So buyer beware
Locate the snare,
It's always there
A danger that's present but not clear
I sense it when giving and losing control,
Compassion and anger
I'm uncomfortable but familiar
With those two in particular

©2024

One foot in front of the other
A played out endeavor
That has only ever
Led to the next far greater
Chapter on disaster
The fact of the matter
Is it's getting harder and harder
To change the visual status quo behavior
With eye glue on the rearview mirror
Then a thought takes over
One I've never had before
Maybe it'd be a little easier
As a simple passenger
How exactly? Well that I'm not sure

©2024

Scared
Of
Every second
Of
Every minute
Of
Every day
Spend a lot of time in areas of gray
Moved to the margins, before getting lost in the fold
Waiting for the one bump in the road
A proverbial tale retold
The one thing
That ends every dream,
That costs everything
Leading back too a familiar nothing
Because why?
Because I
Have
Never been perfect
I've
Never been worth it
I've
Never been proven different
I'm
Not worthy of any of it
I beg constantly,
Prove me wrong
Somebody,
Anybody,
Is there nobody?
Not a single soul
Willing and able
Too prove the fable
Let me
At least see
How it'd be
Too belong
Family
Friends
Lovers
Maybe even an enemy or two,
Prove I was wrong thinking no one would come along
I've put my desperate plea in a song
With compassion in the composition
The right music hits the heart strings some
Just grasping for leverage, eyes fixed on the sun
I don't want to want to be wrong
But the list can't really be zero people long
Don't let that be the conclusion I land on
So fuuckin' lie to me...
I don't know if I can count on another day
With my own truth hanging over me
That no one claims too see
Woe is me

©2014

Listen...
If this goes down like the Christians are sayin'...

Ain't no one getting in and god knows it
That ash hole loves it
He's super into punishment
That and judgment
Those two seem to be his favorite
Bringing true enjoyment
So arrogant he wrote it down,
A confession in print
It's obvious no pastor is oblivious,
There's just a willingness,
A complete lack of acknowledgment
They preach benevolent
All I read is maleficent
All I see is a battlefront
A holy deficit
How he treats his creation,
Love and compassion destructively absent
It's an embarrassment
Secondhand, none from firsthand involvement
Unless you think abandonment is an accomplishment
Or fraudulent is some kind of complement
Yeah, I've read it
I wouldn't have taken it public
It's a narcissistic story of sin and atonement
Punished for the failure of a first experiment
Because one decided to be disobedient
Now ungodly pain will accompany pregnancy,
Fuuck the pregnant
Punishment doesn't fit the crime,
But don't question it
That's how it had to be,
But I don't understand that argument
Does the almighty have a limit?
They say no,
There's nothing he can't do
So,
This is exactly how he CHOSE to do it
And when it comes right down to it,
If this shiit I hear is legit,
Let's see if he can feel regret
Will we
Get any
Apology
For this kind of "heaven sent" treatment
Force it to admit to all of it
Even if it takes an eternity,
I'll have all of eternity to do it

©2024

Life is less of a journey
And
More of a tale of survival
You
Get the worm if you're early
But
Sleep keeps the shallow mind beautiful
So
Take a pill to be worry free
While
They fabricate the next rival
Don't
Put to much importance on friend & enemy
Because
Neither can be considered reliable
Trust me

©2024

Life's biggest illusion is the freedom we're shown
Cause there's only so far you are able to roam
It never occurred to me that it was strange to be in this place alone
At first,
While trying to escape I wore my finger tips to the bone
But now,
I've got it so bad that I call this catacomb home
No land line phone,
No WiFi hotspot zone
Cut off from the outside inside this prison of skull and bone

©2024

Dreams provide the building blocks for nightmares
Working with outsourced puppeteers,
Freelance shiit talkers
And unlicensed engineers
Incorporating in-house failures,
Stacked to the rafters,
To orchestrate such fears
A passion project with plenty of volunteers
But after 40 some years
Missteps and heartbreak are full blown careers
With daily bonus checks awarded for tears

©2024

Can't dislodge the shiit clot caught in my brain stem
On a marry go round of hell hounds, can't outrun them
I find it strange that a life can be all pain with no gain
I find it strange that nothing remains other than battle wounds and blood stains
The coward in me always wins with it's upper hand
My grand plan is to get my head deeper in the sand
The conversations from both sides of my mouth become simultaneous
Keeping this unstable, rival mindset at bay is strenuous, it's made me venomous

©2024

I'm not afraid of dying
I'm afraid of the shame from trying

©2024

Am I guilty?
Probably
We all are aren't we?
Literally everybody?
A rarely talked about reality
But a reality none the less surely
Find it in every living things history
Trying to hide it is silly
It's no mystery
It's humanity
A flawed design set free
It comes with the territory
But the what for,
Now that's a bit beyond me,
Maybe
If I'm forced to go by what I see,
It's exactly
What y'all do too actually
But how can that be?
If you would please,
Explain it to me
And do it slowly

©2024

I'll have nothing if I lose her
If I stay I'll lose myself
So I'm forced to ask myself
What is the better future?

©2024

My chin digs a ditch stretchin' miles behind me
My tucked tail has fallen off and lost sight of me
Occupying limbo in the company of ennui
A trait from Eeyores' arced personality
No hospitality
Low fruit hanging heavy
Rots gradually
A ******* at the ready,
Presented indefinitely,
Squarely into the faceless face of longevity
As it inevitably gets the best of me
And I seemingly seem to be ignoring the complexity
Like it doesn't apply to me
Oh the irony

©2024

"It's not a bad life,
Only a bad day"
To which I respond right away,
"Okay,
But what if it's everyday?"
Their reply?
"That's just life"
"Oh, ya don't say"

©2024