It is in the midst of strife
when the burden weighs most heavy,
your innards writhe and twisted;
the discomfort tugging at you so intensely
you cannot help but feel the tightness in your throat.
It is in the thick of this black mist
when your hands pick and pull
upon the wisping thread inside your head,
unraveling the rabble of cowardice voices
which spill like venom on your thoughts.
It is the unsettling notion
you are alone in a vast and empty ocean
sinking, suffocating and claustrophobic,
your mind is brimming, overflowing,
afraid it might just crack right open
It is knowing
these thoughts which come pouring
from that fractious bore inside your skull
seethe with undisclosed emotions
and their exposure to the air could crush you whole.
Will you allow this shameful wave
to crash atop you with all its galling weight
and drag you under grain by grain?
Will you battle back the coming storm,
standing above the surging tide
a rampart refusing to forfeit a single inch
of your distinguished shore?
I say battle.
Battle with the erosive waters rising inside you.
Battle knowing fully at first you are destined to lose.
The hero must be humbled
before others see him as the hero too.
So battle damn it, battle you glorious fool!
This fear is consuming me
A rope tying tightly around my throat
Constricting my breath and cutting off circulation
Thoughts are spinning spinning spinning
Through my hollow mind
They won't stop
They're stealing my sanity
How do I function through this
When my mind knows it's illogical
But I cannot stop the panic that's destroying me?
I need an escape
I feel trapped but I'm not
I don't know what to do
This isn't the first time
And it isn't the last I'm sure
I don't know how to escape this
When I'm running from myself
How do plants adapt?
do they cut the person out of their life
do they pretend it didn't happen
how do they get the water they need
where does the sun in their lives come from
How do others know whos the one?
do they date until they think they cant do any better
do others settle because they can't get who they want
How do geese know where to migrate?
do they pray to find their way
when they shoot for the stars is it ok if they miss
do they get tired of the same thing
or rather just comfortable in normalcy
Since nothing last , the storm calmed
Best efforts to stand up again were futile
Eyes crying off despair till they went dry
Got nothing to start over with , nor enough time
Looking around this barren land was surprisingly fine
It's a better view than starring the storm in the eye
"I'm gonna be alright " passed by
After decades of desertion ,it finally crossed my mind
As if it were lego , I put together my shattered life
Even if I failed , I'll win the honor of the try
Everyone fled , I should stand by my broken heart
Cause giving up on one's self
Is a waste of a precious life
I came directly from through the ranks
All my dues paid, my homage to life
To my God alone all my humble thanks
For bread I slice with prayer knife .
I came strictly from my very own hood
All of my dues I paid through my strife
To mama dear for prayers and our food
For all she sacrificed to save my life .
I came humbly from a very blessed home
All my dues are paid through my chores
To charity, that says take and share some
For all I learned , I am beyond my shores .
I came strongly ready to join the hustle
My dues paid with my years of readiness
To poverty, a real caveat for my struggle
For I've persevered through steadfastness .
Who do you call to
When they all look to you
To be the pillar and the walls
And the roof above them all?
Where do you turn to
When you don't have the drive
And your engines leaking oil
Making a mess of the pavement?
What do you think of
When your clock is ticking
Faster as the days start running
Out of ideas, but it's cold out?
Why does it happen
To be the innocent
Children that only wish their dreams
Could be better than life's nightmares?
How do you keep on
Wishing for better days
When the best you have to offer
Often fails to meet all their needs?
I'm trying so hard to stay sober,
Taking it one day at a time,
But I'm barely hanging on,
Struggling on this uphill climb.
I'm on the wagon for good,
But isn't that what I always say?
It seems like no matter what I do,
That is the one place I never stay.
Too soon, I'll fall off onto my ass,
And flush all my progress down the drain,
The landing hurts, but not for long;
The drugs are there to numb the pain.
Maybe this time I'll do better,
Tomorrow will be day twenty-three,
Although it feels so good to get high,
Sober is what I'm trying to be.
The piano played a beautiful tune for her,
But she couldn't hear it.
The brushes coloured an empty canvas for her,
But she couldn't see it.
The bees made delicious honey for her,
But she couldn't taste it.
The flowers scented heavenly for her,
But she couldn't smell it.
The birds made a soft dress with their feathers for her,
But she couldn't feel it.
How could she?
When the world tortured her,
Till she was dead inside.