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I guess my calling is free fallin'
I realized about halfway back, this parachute isn't going to open
Lost all hope right then
Still forced to listen to a double backed friend playing pretend
As they defend a shallow position
But sure, I'll humor you, go ahead,
Tell me how exactly I am suppose start again
While I dangle here in suspended animation
Somewhere around the middle of my end
And on the day I meet the ground I shall call it friend

©2024
Jeremy Betts Dec 2023
If flesh and bone battle scares alone make you uncomfortable
You could not handle a sneak peek into my soul
How do I manage the impossible?
Your guess is as good as mine, that's all I know
Never as easy as saying no though

I also know what I don't know but sometimes too afraid of the weakness I know it will show
So I can't let you or anyone else know
I don't know how I let myself stoop so low
I hate it here, basking in the dumpster fires glow
I had time, it's a flash fire but the build up is slow
Never as easy as letting go through

©2023
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2023
We're finally here
Driving long miles tired
Arriving safely
About long road trips
Ken Pepiton Mar 2023
Protesting, I, rise, e-raising my hand,
in ranked row,
three from the front, in the middle,
a glance,
and nothing more, and another,
Aseneth was her name, and she hated it.
She said.

Many were the flirty glances, unrestrained
wonder
what is different,
is this ink, or scar tissue?

Eight billion essentially identical minds, in use,
being tuned to consume elemental mental
as we form from base material, mother stuff.

We think in single words, letters let us do this,
that which formerly prevented, lets us do this now,

do you read me is not valid protocol on a voxnet.
You know. Five by five, is not valid either, listen.

Does your memed mind hear me now, Brown Cow,
Dao a do nothing dues paid note, this is business,
this is what the messenger in charge,
special agent,
secret agencies allowed, in my mind, baby, listening

constantly, no time,
silent,
only imagining Major Tom.

Waking spacy Sunday Morning, unre-tied to the strand
of faith that wound the core hard ball of pure rubber,
vulcanized, for bounce,

CRACK of the bat, where once, no, each once ever,
the feeling
one side, then the other, being mentally cognoscente,
cognoscenti, either way,
we both know, we both take knowing duty as demanded
of the code
we obey. At the command. We pay proper attention,
not too much of any thing,
take your own measure,
remember, certainty is bad mad solid state, bricked.
In a sermon writing state of mind after reading poets alive when I was young.
Sasha Paulona Jul 2022
Layers of layers dust
It's hard to see what's behind the red
in your eyes............
Be the Open book for society
that can't ******* read...
Let them guess if it's you or someone
they're missing...
Nick Stiltner May 2021
The wind felt different on my neck today,
Slightly colder, unfamiliar,
It was not a feeling I was used to.

But this breeze hasn’t changed at all
There was a spark on the nerves of the cuticles where hair stands ensnaired there had sounds of foundation rock breaking and cracking a lump of clay stepping out of the mold under its own power it’s own fruition at first its unseemly bordering on crude then your curiosity strikes like what will this lump of clay do? will he crash off the table damp too much water tear himself in two brand new asunder asunder asunder I see a rock we have to peek under I have to keep searching but my search has all been for naught but then again looking on those days in the rays I couldn’t wait to find shade is this really the only way yes she says with a sigh so I position my head so my eyes meet sky i guess it’s time to retry so here I go again and again and again and again and again so many times I’ve tried to take flight and sometimes I can’t be but filled with spite but I know The Wheel she spins goes back and goes forth
So it’s on to the next and the next and the next this life is only a quest but that is only a guess
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2021
Turning in bed throughout the night
Pestered by demons
Didn't invite
The last thing wanna do is face my pain
It's the only subject boiling on my brain
You said not to worry and stress without cause
Know no other way of coping with my flaws
Is it easy for everyone else to show themselves love?
Self- loathing drags me down and I cannot rise above
First doubt creeps in like 5 o'clock shadows
Insults that start small and then grow
On mind like frost coating a thin layer of ground
Freezing to the insecurity to which I am bound
Last night's insomnia paints bags under eyes
Circles so deep and dark they can't even be disguised
I eat up lies you dish out like I haven't been fed in weeks
Hungry because gut never finds the nourishment it seeks
The distractions I consume to fill the void only render me more hollow
Skeleton becomes a nest of pity in which I choose to wallow
Fears bloom faster than blossoming flowers
Watered by teardrops that pour out in showers
Within bones
The middle where marrow should be
Instead filled with stones
Inside skin a storm is raging complete with lightning and thunder
Perished as teardrops poured
Presently pain pulls me under
I quickly surrender to rain clouds in the sky
Working to save my soul
Guess it is time to accept that in this universe some forces are beyond my control
I wish i could choose who i love
sage Dec 2020
several months ago, i wrote about love.
how i thought it would be fire, sunlight, a single candle in an empty room.
i built a girl to put all my love into so i had a way to let it out,
but i had never loved then, and now i have.

i love a girl with short hair and dark eyes who is allergic to all my favourite foods,
and she made me realise that loving was easier than i feared.
i love her without hesitation, without waiting, without restraint.
but when she loved me back i was afraid. i'm afraid now.

because what happens when - not if- she wakes up and sees me as i do?
she sees she was wrong, and i am not warm or kind or anything she thinks of me.
and a voice whispers above the fear that maybe she's right, and i am wrong.
if she does not see how awful i am, how awful could i really be?

she thinks i am good to her because i am good. but its not true.
i love her because of her, not myself.
i am good for her because i want her to be happy with me, and i want to deserve the esteem she holds me in.

and in the core of my heart i know i'm just scrambling for reasons to ruin things,
because i'm happy in a way i've never been before.
and i hold onto her like i am afraid she'll vanish once my brain stops screaming at me.
i wonder how she can look at me and not be repelled like i am.

but i don't think i would hate myself if i were somebody else.
if i was a stranger, what would i think?
the truth is, i don't think I'm a bad person.
i think i am loved and that terrifies me.
because what have i done to deserve it?
it cannot be enough.

i was used to dealing with myself at my worst,
to licking my wounds like a cat in silence
but now she is here and determined to stay
and i want her to.
so if she wants to see everything i will let her,
and the rest is her choice to make
i love my gf but not myself it seems
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
I thought you were my ride or die
Now I sit here asking why
Why do you not love me the way I love you?
Your feelings changing
Can’t mine change too?
I wish I did not care so it wouldn’t hurt this much
Run further away the tighter I clutch
I wish we were still same two people who fell head over heels
Watched as we changed
I hate how this feels
I told you my secrets and my biggest fears
In return you remained by my side throughout the years
You have made life better than I ever expected
Tried my best to keep you from feeling neglected
I know not the easiest person to be around
You’re there each time I need help up off the ground
I promise will never stop fighting for what we’ve got
A reason you overtake each and every thought
Are you lying?
You say you’re still in love with me
There’s someone else who with you'd rather be
When saying “always” I meant you’d always have my heart
Guess when you said it you meant I’d always have a part
But that piece I will cherish and save
Carry til I’m resting in my grave
I thought I would be your ride or die until the very end
Guess that to you our relationship is dead
I’ll always be your ride or die baby
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