If I saw you again, I wouldn’t care about things that were so petty, like whose plates and cutlery lay idle in the sink...who didn’t take out the *******...who forgot to water the plants, or who forgot to do this or that.

The only sounds I hear now are our splintered voices down the phone. Every night. They grow. They break. They hover, they drift ever-so, and they try to fade. But somehow, they are always there. Lingering. Over and over again.

And as I look out at the morning’s rusty dream of dawn, a thin film of moisture condensing on the windscreen, I pause.

It isn’t the first time I’ve tried to take a film noir journey through my subconscious.

It isn’t the first time I’ve tried to pull moments and memories together to make some utter sense of what’s happening. My thoughts seem to always unravel themselves. And I struggle with them. They don’t effortlessly slot together anymore.

I often think to myself: isn't it funny how our impression of time changes? God, reflecting back on a fading memory now seems livelier than life itself.

Now I sit here, thinking all these sad and strange thoughts – that everything – time, work, effort, money, affection – are moments that will, one day, crumble and fade – that they won’t be there forever in the physical world.

Because everything we had once cherished with such love, I still remember. Still.

"What is trust?"
Trust is assurance
Trust is sureness
"What does that mean?"
Its faithfulness
Some one who has access
"Is it good?"
It can be good
It has the likelihood
"Is it bad?"
It can be bad
Its really sad
"Why do I need trust?"
When you trust
You become more focused
When you trust
You adjust
"How do I trust?"
Be vulnerable
Be comfortable
Be expressive
Be progressive
"I can try..."
That's all you need
You can succeed
"Can I trust you?"
Of course <3

I am on to bigger
and better
people
and she will stay in
    her
      little
       world,
             forever.
       and one day it will burn.
and I won't care

"First of all I wrote this to remind myself in the future, but then realized I should share it:> so that those people who might feel the same would know that they're not alone. Take your time to read it and please no hate, the world should always be beautiful, agree? also, to let people know that being one doesn't mean being alone. enjoy for I have taken up a lot of time to gain courage to post it on public:>>"...

Hey, you must be the future me...or just probably the aged me.
Do you remember this day? one of your good friend's day.
The day you had an open eye about the pyramids of humans.
The denial is there but fear not for it is what you call 'normal'.

You saw how people tend to change for someone, change is fine.
But when I say change... you're having a flashback right now...
again, when I say change it should be always for the better because if not... it's not change, it is just the old world and the old thing you have there. Change is something that builds you not to destroy you, agree? I'm sure you do...because you're still the old you.

The old you that believes in changes, that fights for it. That defends the people that change for the better and despise those who not. The old you who holds the past so dearly yet so ready to let go of the broken memories, because the old you only trust him to make everything beautiful again.

if not, then forgive me for I have change...

Whatever you have realized today won't change its past, but surely made a better future and a better you. For I know you have realized that have one is enough and she's still with you, am I right? those people who made you feel like you were less, don't shout nor be furious...let your success scream for you, let it fight for you, let it be your freedom, but let him finish all the battles. No one nor nothing can top the faith when it comes to your trust in him, that's why promise yourself, me, that when 99.9% of you changes...let the 0.1%  be your faith! for you know he won't let you go!

The pain, the feelings and thoughts you have there...don't be upset because bare a little more and happiness will set.

What I really mean by this note...
you felt like your too different from the others, right?
yet you defended by saying "I know and I've accepted it for a very long time now". Yes, you do accept, yet you feel like you've been trap for a very long time and accepting the fact that they're up there made you free. that's all I mean. Let it go, being cautious is fine, but guilt for the wrong thing can ****. you bared since 7th to 11th, just...just let it go...focus on greater things and wholesome realities.

If they're not like you, always remember you are not like them.
If you can't be with them, be with the people who makes you feel enough. No dramas here, being emotional isn't my thing. Pardon me, if I sounded too dramatic nor emotional...I was just being realistic about life. life isn't life without those, right? K, no more explanation about that, cause the one besides you knows what you mean.

All I wanted to say was be happy for you have lived, be grateful for you have felt, be satisfied for you were blessed. TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!!