The people in the venues,
Having meetings and conferences.
they mix like a dry salad
drenched in vagueness and normality

it is
okay
to not be there
and feel not happy
but not sad
just not there

it is alright
in the sense that you do not hide
pains or fears
But when business is about,
You can't run.

so go ahead and stop
let these conflicts settle
and fall into dreams
escape momentarily
For now.

"Normal"
"Normal"?
What is "normal"?

They say "there is no normal"
But I think there is.

Because there is definitely not normal
I am not normal
Everything about me
Is not normal

The way I entered into the care system at age 14, and have been being bounced around it ever since

The way I lose time, and forget where I am, and wake up in strange places with injuries

The way people look at me as I wheel past in my chair, with pitying smiles and wide staring eyes

The way my family is

The way my heart is

The way my life is

None of this
Is normal

Listening to Leopold’s symphony
for two minutes,
I was bored.
My mind wondered.
I recalled the dramatic first chords
of Wolfgang’s symphony 41
how it awakened me
how I was hooked by his energy and zest.

Even though Leopold taught his son,
the fame of the impulsive and creative Amadeus spread
as he wrote and played
and captured the attention of the world.

I wonder what poor Leopold thought of his own work
in contrast to his prolific son
a son who seemingly created great music
from nothing
who freed himself from tired conventions.

A creator makes something from nothing
and I wonder if being lost in nothingness
as we poets sometimes are,
if letting go of the familiar
makes it easier to create.

Wanting something to change
Wanting to feel some sense
of normality
Days and nights
not living where , I can  feel free to be me
I am asking reaching out
calling on a higher power
I can't live like this anymore
I deserve to be where , I can
breath and be at my highest vibration
Where , I can feel content
loved and have a
fulfilling day to day
Wanting it needing
some normal
Why does wanting it
give me the feeling
it's never gonna happen
What needs to change
so much this is true
for others to care
to desire normality
But you must know
my
wanting is real
Come on higher power
Do your magic
Wanting it Wanting it
You give me some
normality
at least a little

© Jennifer L DeLong 🦏
8/11/2021