i don’t want to be sad.

but for once, i wanna cry without laughing.

i don’t know why it’s so hard to simply cry

like a normal person.

if i’m gonna hurt, i’d rather hurt

the way most people do.

so, brain, you better be taking notes.

Think of the office

as a madhouse, then the rest --


is pretty normal.

The people in the venues,
Having meetings and conferences.
they mix like a dry salad
drenched in vagueness and normality

it is
okay
to not be there
and feel not happy
but not sad
just not there

it is alright
in the sense that you do not hide
pains or fears
But when business is about,
You can't run.

so go ahead and stop
let these conflicts settle
and fall into dreams
escape momentarily
For now.

Listening to Leopold’s symphony
for two minutes,
I was bored.
My mind wondered.
I recalled the dramatic first chords
of Wolfgang’s symphony 41
how it awakened me
how I was hooked by his energy and zest.

Even though Leopold taught his son,
the fame of the impulsive and creative Amadeus spread
as he wrote and played
and captured the attention of the world.

I wonder what poor Leopold thought of his own work
in contrast to his prolific son
a son who seemingly created great music
from nothing
who freed himself from tired conventions.

A creator makes something from nothing
and I wonder if being lost in nothingness
as we poets sometimes are,
if letting go of the familiar
makes it easier to create.