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Alifmun 4d
I saw a person
Said to him "eww"
Nobody likes you
You shouldn't exist
You antisocial freak
Try having some friends
I punch him
Only to see
Broken mirrors
Loath to self loath
Lyra Saros Jul 11
Another lonely cycle and I’ll fall back to you
A delusion of second chances clawing like a relapse

The marionette strings will guide my hands
To the machine that will reanimate this
Phantom reflection of things long dead

My tongue will swirl and ask you, again
If you remember our promise
That inequitable scream you affirmed

I will retire to the same fantasy:
Us, lain down on the hood of a car
The upside down stars
And summer heat melting us together in December
And I will tell myself that in that dream I do not love you

My heart will swell and my lungs will strain
And I will fabricate a false god to worship
Less than obsession with you

The mantras will repeat
“This is normal.”
“I know what I'm doing.”
And
“I've just never had a friend like you.”
But I will know
My body has betrayed me

I will be reminded
I am just a girl

I will wish for it to be unmade
As much as I wish you felt it
But in the end
The heart wants what the heart wants
Even when it wants to **** you

So I'm sorry,
My friend,
For all the things I am yet to hurt you with
But I fear I have no choice
For Missy
Pyrrha Jun 15
The bravest boy I know
Sits in the eye of the hurricane
All alone

Surrounded by so much fear
Hatred, loathing, and pain
He doesn't run away

He faces the storm
Even if he has to do it
All alone
Caitlin May 6
Please love me when I’m crying
because I’m angry or I’m sad.
Love me when I’m drinking,
when my emotions drive you mad.
Love me when I’m ranting
pacing across the floor
Love me when I’m running
and trying to lock the door.
Love me when I’m seeing
ghosts from a troubled past.
Love me when I’m fighting
when I’m breathing hard and fast.
Love me when I’m broken,
when my body’s giving up.
Love me when I’m drained
but still pour from an empty cup.
They say that you have to love yourself
despite society's dictation and lies,
before you can ever love someone else,
and that your partner is the prize.
But I can’t stand my rolls and curves
or my brain that seems black as coal.
So love me when I’m falling apart,
even when I’m never whole.
Please love me like we promised
don’t hide me on a shelf.
Please love me more than I
could ever hate myself.
For my wonderful husband.
I will never deserve you.
Iska Apr 25
The world is teetering
Tethered by a withered string
And gravity is pulling it taught

And now it’s crashing
Louder and louder
The shards splinter my skin
And rivulets of blood
Turns to rivers

You hear a sigh
Of relief
Of regret
Of release
As you find me
Drowning in a pool of my blood
A broken story
Old as time
You dream to live
I long to die
Tony Tweedy Apr 3
Of all the people who have done me harm and caused me hurt, the only one I have ever come to hate is me.
Isaac Ward Apr 2
There's no song that even comes close-
To matching the sea of loathing inside,
I'm running, seething, not verbose-
Wearing baggy clothes to hide,

The scars that I can't afford to make-
I'm breaking behind paper walls so high,
Counting cars like falling stars-
Faking it all, "I'm just fine," I lie,

I'd love to rip my throat out-
With the hands that dug my grave,
I shrug, and slip away, in doubt-
Why can't I just behave?
Kristaps Apr 1
There is
a wooden
cabin on a hill
It awaits me still.
Hate, Loathing, and Pride, sit by the
indoor fire. And discuss disgust. Logs
of spit and mucus in an ivory stack, therein,
braketh not they for moon or sun. In abyss, engulfed
in a blister, of scarlet marsh and murky water. Of poison
their cups are filled; midnight blue, the cherubic wine of sorrow
I join once more my dearest friends and gaze into the fire's flat, eternally burned, lithium disk.
Infinity Jan 31
I take the calories for the calm
The more I take, the more time I have till the anxiety comes back
I see the world through an out of focused lens
Just barely making out enough of the edges to navigate
The nerves and veins in my brain are constantly half full, half empty
How do I get through?
Every push forward is short-lived
I take one step forward
And then push myself 10 steps back in an instant
The calories can’t numb the pain
Can’t push away the parasite of exhaustion gnawing at me in every moment
I’m sinking, sinking
Into oblivion, into the dark hole that welcomes the likes of me
The self doubt crawls out to the surface slowly
“You know you can’t get rid of me” it purrs, “you know you’ll never be enough”
It’s claws caress the insides of my brain
“You can never escape me” it hisses
It laughs, and sinks it’s claws in me further, deeper and deeper
It drags me down further
The monster in the dark
I’m on edge again, gasping for air again, utterly resigned to my fate, again
“I will never escape you” I whisper
Eyes wide in terror, I succumb to the horror of myself
Sink my nails into my flesh, perhaps I’ll wake up from this nightmare
Perhaps, perhaps, oh God please let this be a nightmare!
I plead till my nails draw blood, till my resignation turns into outright terror, till my terror turns into gasping screams
This is not a nightmare
This is life
And actions have consequences
What has passed cannot be undone
And I will never escape.
Sara Kellie Jan 31
It's watching over you, my love.
and you
you fear nothing
more than
me.

and you
ought to wonder.
For the fake love and
the feelings that you plunder.

For I am the rain,
I am the clouds
and
I am the thunder.

Can you feel it?
I am electric!
I am me
and I am you.

Kaydee.
Can you feel it?
I am electric!
I am me
and I am you.
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