Empty bags and candy wrappers Left strewn about From my last attempt To fill this feeling To suppress this anxiety Only for it to fail And give birth to a different sickness
The rage I feel when I look in the mirror The body I was given And all that I have done to it I want it to be beautiful But just can’t keep up with the work So the burning grows inside I’ve gotta let it out And I want it to hurt
There’s no one else to blame No other half I’ve just one brain There is no wicked tempter Only chemically driven impulse I only lose my temper on myself I want to squeeze til there’s no pulse I want to shatter my mirror And use the broken pieces To carve the body I wished to see When the mirror was whole
On a rare starry night dead silence prevailed, with them all unsheathing their very own plight. The moon turns envious, as she appears in sight, for it is but a torn kite before she in her own right. She turns her records on, echoing in the silence, let the humming commence, all are safe and all are sound thence. As they all sink in the tune She confides in the moon, in the planned secrecy, she confesses how she loathes his absency, even more than she loathes to admit this.
you gave me love just to take it away you gave me life so that i may die and you gave me a heart just so i could be heartless the life i have lived is not worth living and it is so that i have died but in death is rebirth and in rebirth is death every opposite has an attraction that governs its repulsion and it is so i contradicted myself
when i had loved you were only my dark because i thought inside you i could find a light and even when i found it i became lost in my conviction devil and god demon and angel what is the difference but power one to reign oblivion over life one to comfort those in death but in this world can you tell who is who?
you gave me love just so i could feel it you gave me life just to be numb i loved all those that scorn me as all those who scorn me are me and i them
what is life beyond life and what is death beyond death as god so loved the devil that he saw his own evil as good and cast him unto himself what is the devil but god and what is the god but devil these demons my guardian angels i feel found
why must i exist to exist i wish not to be but that is why i am we are made to go against and rebel against but that is why we are made to subserve
Your grace is wasted on a ******* like me I can’t accept your forgiveness Because I haven’t forgiven myself Don’t make it look so easy No need to walk the higher ground I can see you ready to take a fall The hate that’s hidden is weighing you down Don’t spare me the rod And let your bitterness sit and fester Give me what I deserve Some say I’m gonna burn for all I've done And I don’t believe there’s anyone to follow through But sometimes I wish they were right An eternity of suffering might be enough To fill this *******’s bottomless well of self-loathing
Sometimes i wonder what the walls would say if they could speak. What horrors they would leak. Unimaginable hate, stumbling in drunk home again late, trying to find my bed but cant walk straight. Uncalled for abuse, screaming for the hands around your neck to be let loose. Sad, depressing suicide attempts, self - mutilation, nights screaming, pleading to God to take you to heaven. Scary addictions and the scary things i did for them. Being attacked by all the monsters in my head, asking God "why me?" and wishing i was dead. If these walls could talk, they would say alot, so im just glad that they can not.
Do not look in the mirror: What will stare back will be sure to cause Futility; what you thought would look back is just a face Your mind has created: alas it is what you would like to see. But in reality all you are left with is undesirable. Quick, where is the moisturizer? I see some lines. Dark circles? I thought we weren’t wearing makeup anymore. You said we weren’t, we’re only 27 there can’t be lines Impossible.
i craved the fleeting warmth of her impossible kiss i still do i thought she hated me with my entire being;
yet i longed for nothing more for her to be draped over me with tender touches and sweet sighs instead of being held against my will, as my unwilling, lovestruck body was dragged & pushed -- not lovingly embraced, desired, or cherished; just scorned.
i felt the weight of my arched ankles manipulated by her dainty, ballerina figure i worshiped coupled with my gasping breaths wrapped around her fickle, faithless fingers, and i ravenously called this love.
a note my 14-year-old self mistakenly perceived for a feeling i will get to know better
( & a rough practice of playing with alliterations, letter & word placements ! )