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This night take me
fold me
shake me
fashion me a coat
a costume of stars
let me fly
let me be
let me finally be free
this night is not ours
it is mine
the headiest of wine
that you could never know
now say goodbye
and let me go
M Vogel Feb 13

There is a   r e l e a s e
  that comes,
in holding you
close at night..   a
barrier that comes down
in the late night
and early morning
hours.

  You've been  alone
within all of this  difficulty
that you have  known
  for so long.

And then very much
   hopefully..

   even if only for a moment,

you are no longer alone


movement  in to
the night's warmth

is a long and difficult journey
https://youtu.be/IU8zJ5j8h9s?si=n-43VSgFiEKfqQ_Q

<3
youtu.be/zu3CYjMc_-8?si=s_aPWDO_rzjbg3oB
Keara Marie Feb 1
I think I’m going to do it this time. I’m going to cut it out of me. Why?
I can’t deal with this anymore. It’s as simple as that. The world is an ocean that washes over me. The sound of the water is deafening. It drowns my heart. My panic becomes as large as the sun and my mind as little as the moon appears. I need release. I need to hurt me before the world can again. Then I can comfort myself. I’m going to make myself a river worth drowning in.
And I did
M Vogel Jan 28

You need the kind of real that in its utter realness..
becomes a living form of fantasy

Something so real that it spells out  the word

    "Unreal"
     in everything that it does and says..

A reality  that is in  perpetuality,
               a forever-living fantasy


There is a condition of the heart, mind and spirit,
that is truly able to do that.
Nothing is lost within the process;

   And everything there ever was within it..
   becomes its own beautiful form of Gain


xox
Jeremy Betts Jan 10
Carrying wounds that will not heal
A pain I will be forced to always feel
Stitched up, scabbed over
The new flesh is much paler
Sealed but not seamless
A basic healing process
That's what they tell me
Looks like a ground up mess, what does everyone else see?
The sensation is still so prominent
As if I'm back in that bathtub reliving it
The visual as clear as the day
Terrified but can't pull my gaze away
I only opened a small crease
Honed in on the crimson flow of my life embracing it's release
Two fresh exits located to my left and my right
Allowing it to forge a new path to the drain and out of sight
My past, present and future colliding
Pooling faster than it can move through the plumbing
Took forever to register my final decision
Turned out it wasn't final at all, just another negative mark on my person
No relief felt, only overwhelming regret
A permanent reminder
But how could I ever forget

©2024
You never did manage to see
The final nail on the casket nor
The 9 years it has taken me
To unweave it from my crown of thorns

You say you shout you scream
You could not have foretold
The bullet I held clenched between my teeth
Heavy to the touch, heavy and unbearably cold
Not as I my mouth became a steal barrel,
Not as it came racing out
Not as it came to meet your creased forehead's third fold

I shake with loss
I shiver with relief
My silver armor melts away and evaporates into flesh
The life you had left ahead of you was anyway brief
Unlike the fruits you stole from my long life that once lay ahead of me
An ugly, loud, rampant, hobbling thief

I leave my pills to you
For all the times I failed
Trying bleed your blood out from my wrists
Bullet blown, skeletons thrown, casket nailed
I walk back up the stairs light as a feather
A crested crow, my wings unfurled, a crested crow unveiled
Ren Sturgis Dec 2023
Another night as I lie awake somewhere in between this realm and the next
I hold myself the way I've done for so long
Missing something that feels so distant yet phases in so close to reality
Processing....
Dissociative dimension loading....
Physically here, mentally checked out
Overthinking taking the wheel
Not real, not real, not real
Pain, so much pain. Can't get it out of my head.
A figment of my imagination; it's clutches digging deep into my heart
Don't leave me
I'll be okay I have to be
Smile
I'm fine I promise (I'm not)
Blink away the tears that threaten to fall
Emotion consumes
Resolve
You're so strong they say
Voices whisper 'give up'
I don't wanna give up
There's still so much I want to do
Please help me
I'm not strong enough, but I'm a good person I swear
Hold me I'm begging
Tell me everything will be alright
Just once that's all I need
I'll never ask for anything else
I won't be an inconvenience anymore
I don't know anymore
Let go, let go, let go
Release control
I always tend to write in the wee hours of the morning when the thoughts consume me.
tryhard Dec 2023
it is tiring
always carrying
the world on your shoulders
tell me
honestly
how can you breathe
drowning in your sea of sadness
how long will it take
for you to see
the sun never rises
because you stay in your darkness
because you've only discovered
it is easier to be angry
than it is to be hurt
how does it feel now
realizing the heaviness in you
is what's weighing you down
because it is tiring
always carrying
what you think is the world on your shoulders
lay it all down
let it all go
just saw this was in my drafts since dec 2019??? so **** it, published it :D
Philomena Nov 2023
I am going through it. It’s going through me. It’s breaking hope and bones as it passes. Taking the last of me. I cry more than I speak these days. The devil has been fighting for my light since I could remember. Daddy would pick up the bottle and I’d see him real clear. Smiling at my pain and whispering in my ear. In my little room full of fear wishing God would appear.  Some days he’d come disguised as my mother but most days I just moved to his rhythm. Angels would ask to cut in here and there but we could never quite figure out our rhythm. I’m too much light to belong with the devil but not enough light to go without dimming heaven.
Bea Oct 2023
I want to leave who I was behind

Free from my solitary achievement
The only story you care about
The thing on your mind while you look me up and down
My pain is the object of your attention

I will never tell you all my secrets
You’ve never deserved to know and it’s far too late for you to change

I want the peace I am owed
I want the silence I crave
I want the freedom you’ve taken for granted


I want to leave who I was behind and step into a new chapter
A story known only to me
Unread by outsiders
Unedited by critics

I will never tell you all my secrets but I will tell you this
One day I will leave you behind

My solitary achievement.
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