the clouds are floating
some days i try to catch them
but my grip is loose
so i learn to release
these reminders of you
and love that seems
within my reach
but i am a fool for drifting
and i have grown familiar
to the mastery
and love is here
just trying to teach
me and my past selves
— Sun struggles
I started to think about life without you,
And to be honest it would be a dream come true.
Because all you bring me is toxic and headache.
I started to see the true meaning of fake.
Whenever people around I suddenly become a nobody.
Ive given to many chances I should have stopped at three.
Now Im saying goodbye,
The last straw helped me to clarify.
Where I stand in your life,
I healed from the wound you cut my back with a knife.
Living in your shadow,
People believed I lived my life according to you.
I lost my identity when they can't ask about me without bringing up you.
To feed your ego I was the girl you always had to outdo.
In being with you
my vision becomes clear
It’s like stepping out of the fog
And looking into a new mirror
The way you think
Brings me down to earth
I have never seen someone
With such a beautiful mind, such a beautiful heart
Thank god for you
You have brought me peace
In speaking and listening
You have become my release
The boy flew,
He soared higher than the clouds as the winds blew,
He smiled, He laughed,
The boy was free.
Then the danger struck,
And the boy’s wings it took,
He fell to Earth,
His innocently arrogant youth had passed.
He marched with the others who were lost,
It took him too long to know what this would cost,
The boy, now man, grew sad,
It was too late to climb to the heights of his youth.
The man did as he was told,
An evil grip on this world then properly took hold,
While everyone was awake with their eyes closed,
Pain, suffering and war took over our Earth.
As our world began to die,
With many tears he started to cry,
He was not who he wanted to be,
But this perfect self was impossible to see.
The man grew tired of the complexity of a simple life,
He began to think that it was time to take up his knife,
As he did what he thought was right he saw a dark tunnel,
It was too late to stop now.
What he saw It was not pretty,
There was no light at the end, no rhyme or rhythm,
But he saw something that made him smile with glee,
No Earth, no existence to need to pretend to be happy.
For what does the sun rise and for what then does it set?
is it not for Heavenly Love which it cannot ever forget?
The moon and stars are also subject and don't seek a release
until that love beckons them to find rest in its bosom of peace.
It's like I'm fighting time
never have enough but always wasting too much
waiting on time to fix the broken parts of "us"
wondering when things will feel right if they ever will
I'm still stuck on moments people said would heal
been struck by the realization that learning how to accept
is to learn how to deal
but acceptance comes with time
and through time wounds have been revealed
These days my words ring empty, my voice remains low
I've been made of broken promises
over the months it's started to show
Commitment to my future is all too rooted in my past
I need to let go of comfort
this time around I have to make the changes last
We saw nothing that was inside
your face everything so well did hide
he'll be okay - no use prying
but inside your heart was dying
A mask you wore to hide the pain
the sadness and sorrow, driving you insane
and still we saw nothing, not even a glimpse
not a shudder, a tear, not even a wince
As you stood there, feeling only dispaire
in the silence of 1000 stares
we ran to you, having finally caught on
but too late we came, into the woods you had gone.
Slowly you walked, under the light of the moon
your heart wretching from pain and gloom
and there you came to a solemn standing tree
from which nobody your act could see
Just one moment it took for thee
to set your mind, your soul a'free
at last your suffering put to ease
a lifeless body swaying in the breeze
There's a place I go to breathe.
I'll sit for hours recollecting thoughts and memories.
All to quickly violent thoughts submerge.
Never seeming to fail,
"what if you jumped"
Sometimes my knee's will stiffen.
Would I glide smoothly through loosely freeing my soul.
Or should the sudden twitch in my arm catapult my motion releasing me uncontrolled.
Would I feel regret?
Would I feel pain?
Would I feel love?
Would I feel at all?
The torment of these questions is what drives my curiosity.
As I answer...
The call of the void.