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tinkerbell Sep 14
the clock struck twelve, but i still didn't write.
in a room with only the laptop screen
and the blinking cursor as a guide,
it's impossible to find something interesting
that the administrators can consider.
then the thought of your hair loose, swaying as you run
breezily passed my thoughts
and soon enough
the blank page in front of me
was filled a supercut of us.

they were fuzzy memories, hazy ones.
but i felt more cozy and warm
as the video added snippets after snippets,
moments after moments.
my eyes started to blur as i re-witnessed
(after a long time of denial)
the love i felt for you, and still feel.

i'd rather chase you for that ice-cream scooper,
let you read those novels while i count the times you blink,
sleep on your shoulder,
and mouth "go idol!" in the audience
while you perform on stage with unsure confidence
rather than impress those administrators
with fake dreams and promises
of wanting to be accepted in another environment,
where i don't breathe the same air as you do.

as i look out of my window,
i notice that the moon is full and bright,
smiling, i remember you telling me that,
at least, we'll look up at the same sky.
and now with my attention back at the screen,
the supercut was over
and all that's left was the blinking cursor,
pulling me back to reality
and back to the administrators.
Joseph Dec 2018
How shall i proceed? the question lingers on my mind,
To follow my head, or this heart of mine,

Everyone around me says no, its not what is done,
And for me to not follow this yearning, would be anything but fun,

Where do we stand when deciding what to do,
Body, mind and spirit, all having their view,

I for one cannot tell you the answer, what is false and what is true,
Because there is only one who writes your story, and that person is you.
What Now?

It took me forever to choose
so I succame to impulse
dictated by MY desire
born within limitations
of my perspective
my understanding
my reach

But what choice did I have?

This subject?
That object?

choice seemed tainted
impulse felt natural

a manipulator's playground

hijacked lowjacked
jacked

The Faceless Man whispers,
"Well, you always had the choice."

but Shame speaks in ones own voice

so what now?
Peter B Aug 21
Death is calling me,
but I'm pretending
I don't hear her voice.

She wants me now.
She is dead *****.
She says I'm hot.

I don't want to go,
I'm kinda not ready yet.
But at the same time,
I want to say Yes.

I'm hesitating,
haven't decided yet.
I still have a choice!

She knows one day I will break.
She has no patience,
she can't wait.

But it feels like the decision
has been already made
- by her.
fiachra breac Aug 21
.
falling in love with a hurricane,
isn't nearly as dramatic as it sounds
better to rip the plaster off now
Tea Aug 20
15:
Sun or rain...
Never be mad again...
Anger is bad...
It makes other people sad...
Sing a happy song...
Admit that you are sometimes wrong...
We must accept imperfection...
It is time for action...
We should make a difference...
We must break down the fence...
The fence between black and white...
Because neither is right...
We should live together without fights...
We should put on our inner lights...
We should shine friendliness...
And happiness...
Helpfulness...
And gracefulness...
We should be full of understanding...
No matter what is happening...
We should help wherever we are...
We should share...
Even though we aren't always rich...
We can help people who fell in a ditch...
Just think about how it would feel...
Unhappiness always on your heel...
Nowhere to go...
You would need help, wouldn't you?
We are able to make a big difference...
All we need to do is shine kindness...
Other people need help, that is why...
Are you going to try?
In stanza 11 I meant racism. Neither is right for treating the other wrong.
Tea Aug 20
13:
As I look out of my cage...
I see people rage...
I see people crying...
I see people lying...
I turn my back to the rain clouds...
Then I feel the rainbow breaking my heavy bonds...
My laugh can be heard from far...
As I run away from this sad war...
I run along with the seas...
I hear the whisper of the trees.....
The wind takes me to a lake...
And then I awake...
I sigh and I look around...
Then I look towards the ground...
I smile with the thought of my best friend...
I get reminded that this is not the end...
I stand up to make my dreams come true...
I look into the deep blue...
The ocean waves sing a relaxing beat...
I breathe and I feel great.....
Then I feel a hand on my shoulder...
For a moment I shudder.....
I turn around and see the person I trust the most...
I smile because he is not lost...
We dream of adventures...
And as we are painting pictures...
The stars shine bright...
Then I wake up again with a fright...
I give a big sigh...
I ask myself "why?"
But I am satisfied...
I have no reason to hide...
I will not be sad...
Even though I miss what I had...
I know I will make more happy memories...
I will forget the dreadful cries...
Happiness will surround me with light...
Blue, orange, white...
Tea Aug 17
8:
I got tired of trouble...
And I turned my back on all the rubble...
Now I'm feeling better than before...
I'm going to take a few steps more...
Even though I fell from the sky...
I got up again to try...
I'm going to run once more to fly...
I was soaring so high...
But then I hit the harsh reality...
And I turned from happy...
To hurt and sad...
I missed the lad...
The last few days it's not so bad anymore...
I'm just worried that he will wither to his core...
But I don't think so...
I must decide whether I stay or go...
I want to stay...
But maybe I'm looking the wrong way...?
Maybe I should go far away...?
Maybe I should fly night and day...?
Maybe another guy is meant for me...?
But where could he be...?
lake Aug 2
can you stop me from leaving
can you stop me from breaking
if you can that's good
cause i don't think i could
stop myself

i always flipped a coin to decide
it's like i don't even own my life
it's getting harder to decode my own mind
it'll take too long going by my own time

the risks or play it safe
the glue or let it break
can you help me out
it's so roundabout

should i have listened to my inner voice
the one that keeps yelling bad choice
and maybe i should have sacrificed
the things i could've done without in this life
but in this life, there's no easy goodbyes

can i stop being foolish
and try to be little bit selfish
when it's you i can't help it
but deep inside i'm glad
that i can't stop myself
lake Jul 24
i need to know
if i can ever let you go
let me know
if i will ever make it home

you are my addiction
the part that i'm missing
going through withdrawal
i can't keep it casual
with you i can't choose
with you it's lose-lose

can't live with you, can't live without
can't leave this hanging with no way out
i need closure for my toxic exposure
i want you closer but it's already over

what's left to say
what's the right way
my contradiction
my addiction
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