Since I was young,
I’ve lived in the in-between
a mind always wandering,
slipping beneath the surface
of ordinary moments.

I remember being very little,
winter pressing against the windows,
a decoration tapping the glass,
the snow falling soft as breath.
I would sit for hours,
just watching.
That quiet
was a world unto itself.

I could watch the sun set
and feel the whole world soften,
or trace the wind
through the leaves
like it was telling me
something only I could hear.

Time bent around those thoughts
hours, days,
evaporating like breath
on a cold window.

Even then,
I was searching,
though I didn’t know for what.

Now, the thoughts
have turned inward.
Still wandering,
but deeper now
am I growing?
Is this meaningful?
Is what I’m doing right?

And still,
it’s easy to get lost in them,
to lose time,
to drift.

These thoughts
soft as a breeze,
sometimes paralyzing,
always persistent
are my compass and my undoing.
They keep me aligned,
even when I question
every step.

They’ve become the soil
from which I know myself,
layered with doubt,
but rooted in reflection.

They’ve shown me
how I’m stitched to the world:
to the wind,
to the fading light,
to the hush
that follows deep seeing.

And when I return,
I carry more questions
not answers,
but invitations:
Am I slowing down?
Am I really seeing?

It’s not escape.
It’s return.
To wonder,
to stillness,
to the place where thinking
becomes a kind of prayer.

Nice and slow
That's how we loved
A day at a time
Falling deeper and deeper
Forging bonds
Every second together
Exciting and new
A life growing and growing
Until eventually
We reached our tallest peak
How quickly
We crashed and burned
We dropped 
Just like our hearts did
A divebomb 
That broke everything 
The lowest point
Is what we ended up with 
Nice and slow
That's how I recovered
Horribly fast 
Was how you moved on

Lawn mower,
At noon I hear yours echoes,
Like thunder, spread evenly
Across the earth.

Touching you
Always was unacceptable.
But now it's happened.

The wind rustles
My long plaid pants,
Touching the ends of my hair.
I walk slowly, rejoicing at this day.

You showed me forests,
and didn’t flinch when I stopped
to admire a tree like it had something to say.
You didn’t mock the way I paused—
studying branches like ancient friends.
You let me wander
with soil on my fingers
and wonder on my face,
and you never asked me to be less.

There is something so frightening
about being seen—
but you did it
without making it feel like exposure.
You let me be wonderstruck,
let me be loud,
let me vanish into quiet.
You never tried to fix it.
You just made room.

You made me feel like I wasn’t wrong
for being soft
in a world that teaches sharpness.
You made me laugh like the world wasn’t ending.

You made space for my awe—
for the little girl in me
who never learned to stop wondering.
And around you,
my heart laughed like her again—
loud, joyful, barefoot,
free.

It felt like being allowed to exist
without needing to be interesting.
And I didn’t know how much I needed that
until you gave it.

We shared coffee in the aftermath—
those mornings,
warm sheets,
skin still humming.
You made us coffee.
I stayed in bed,
watching the light move across your back
like it knew you.

We didn’t rush to make sense of the day.
We let it bloom slowly—
our bodies folded into each other
like pages in a book
no one else would ever read.

Later,
I found seashells on a walk
and kept them
like proof
that something small and beautiful
can survive pressure and time.

In the evenings,
we filled our mouths with good wine and good food,
laughed like people
who had known each other
long before this lifetime.
You let me be bright.
You let me take up space.
And I did—
unhidden,
a little too much,
exactly enough.

I didn’t apologize for my joy.
You didn’t ask me to.
You only filled my glass
and kissed the corner of my smile.
You smiled like my brightness
wasn’t something to fear.

My heart laughed in those moments,
like a child who no longer had to prove her joy.
You didn’t just see me—
you recognized me.
Around you,
my joy felt safe.

We danced like idiots in the kitchen,
sang badly in the car
like the songs were written for us,
moved like no one was watching—
because somehow,
that’s how you made the world feel:
empty of judgment,
full of room.

And now,
when the days stretch too far without you,
my heart panics.
It wants to knock on your door,
not for answers—
just for nearness.

Your soul feels familiar.
Your touch—
not new,
just remembered.

Even the hard parts
feel like something worth returning to.
Not because it’s easy—
but because it’s real.

And when I think it’s too far,
too hard,
too uncertain—
I remember your voice,
and how your touch felt like déjà vu.

Whatever this is—
it isn’t fragile.
It isn’t imagined.
And I won’t cheapen it with a name.
I won’t insult it with a label.

But if you asked,
I’d meet you in the forest again.
And again.
And again.

The shadow of the aloe plant
Is as still as the sunlight
That crawls along the wall.