Jas 8h

In the dusk of war
Of my own personal battles
That seethed and wailed,
uprooted from the ground
Like weeds beneath the shallow mulch
Did my own fears come to fruition,
Seeds nestled between memories
Suckling on life as soon as it enters me.
Joy,
Though rare and bleeding
Did spill into my life
At the same moment more people arrived -
Those who would do the cleaning
"Oh, come now," they said
For I'd been mulling about in
My own person,
Not as much as I'd been swimming in
A glass of Merlot and cherry wine;
For I'd drowned in a solution so pure before -
All besides the sting and reverberating warmth of
The lord in my glass
Would be toxic for me.

Nonetheless,
All else must be choked down willingly
And the audience an unworthy witness.
Simpathi 18h

Your heart causes the teardrops to fall,
Your heart turns the pain into nothing at all.
Don't care about the mistakes, the flaws.
Just wish I had tried harder and called.

All disappeared and faded away,
When you’d open up and begin to say,
Of your hopes, dreams and fears.
I’d tell you mine but you’re always near.

You draw me closer with every heartbeat,
Following my small voice along when you sing.
I love who I love, that’s just how it is,
But I can’t move on if you’re who I miss.

Never felt the same about anyone else,
They were attractive but couldn’t be held.
I wish you the best regardless of spouse,
Just wish they’d find the same treasure I found.

I’ll never forget the smile on your face,
Ever since I met you life wasn’t the same.
I’d mean the world to me if I could make you smile,
Even if your adored face will be shown just for a while.

Wishing dreams were realities...

Some will bring you false joy ,
           So Watch out !
When the magic starts to last
Yet treat you like a useless toy
              So watch out ,
As the love goes out in a blast.
              Watch out !

Some will give you big smiles ,  
               So Watch out !
When they step into your life  
Yet send you walking for miles
              So Watch out ,
For the wounds from hidden knife
                 Watch out !

Some will wipe away your tears ,
               So Watch out!
When they want a space to crash
Yet confirm your greatest of fears
               So Watch out ,
when lies and truths starts to clash
                  Watch out !

Some will bring you the new moon ,
               So Watch out!
Causing high tides all around you
Yet take away your cool afternoon
               So Watch out ,
When the tides falls all around you
                 Watch out !

#IvanBrookspoetry

Watch out at all times. ..

Nonfunctional lungs,
Trying to contract and take in air,
Nothing coming in or out.

My lungs shrink inside my chest,
Deep inhales shred at my lungs.

Shaking frame trying to keep together.

Each breath must be thought about,
But there are to many thoughts on everything else,
So suffocation begins and lung are sinking.

Rose Jan 5

A cold winter night full of frights
you once held me through the night
to keep me warm
through the storm
but now I'm cold
no one to hold
the storm is raging
my soul is fading
the demons scream
trying to end me
as I lose my might
it feels just right
the storm subsides
in my mind
as I close my eyes
one last time

Rose Jan 5

There is a tree that now scares me
it's just off the path, where we used to laugh
hug and kiss, things that I miss
but it drains my hope, because of that rope,
you left a hole, that swallowed my soal,
late one night, I lost my light
were we once sang, my soul now hangs,
as morning drew, a crowd ensued
to see the one, who was now gone
but I still see, how can this bee
as they took me away, my soal stayed
to watch the tree, that now scares me

Khadro Jama Jan 4

The words i want to say wont come out
Twice the chances of leveling up
Going about it all wrong
tears wont stop
the significance of the many hello's & Goodbyes
Its dangerous Everywhere
Living in uncertain world
we strive to find happiness in the littlest things.
If fear control my life then i'd be worse that a neet.

Bryce Jan 4

The rain came to California again this week
Suds left rolling in the gutters by travelling machines
Sky the pastel endless grey
A floating roof over my rainy gaze

We retreat a beaten foe to the warmth of fiberglass-houses
Turn on the electric fireplace in cozy winter safety
Collect our harvested thoughts to run streaming down
Windows that cheat the meaning of the rain

Speed limit increases naturally
Fear is present in heavenly droplets
Treads light on wet asphalt
Heightened risk of hydroplane

Had I not known better
It must have been holy water
Awash a world of life-greed beneath

I stepped outside and let it soak
Rushing truck splashed a deluge unto my coat

I play it cool.

maria Jan 3

there is something so tragic about a blank face and a dirty mirror. about 3 a.m eyes and our own fingers, mapping the parts of us we hate. there is something so damaging about resurfacing old ideas while juggling target practice with the wooden box kept bundled under piles of wrinkled clothes, stowed away in our dressers like safes, holding sharp things we would never touch on other days.

how can one relearn the idea of sleep?

because melatonin only worked once and benzodiazepines only kept us asleep long enough to dream about the bad things we avoided falling asleep for.

3 a.m feels like dry eyes and grown-out nails, bitten down until brittle. 3 a.m feels like a bed we are too afraid to crawl into and our own eyes we are too afraid to stare at. 3 a.m feels like a cold, creaking tiled floor, muffled from our fragile steps we took over it.

3 a.m feels like fear and sounds like the repeated notion of grinding teeth instead destroyed skin.

i keep studying the stain on the ceiling as though it were a separate universe. I keep willing it to take me away. outside, it's raining, without leaving a sound or smell behind, just flooded window wells and a distant ringing in my ears.

& praying used to be words i sung inside my head as though they could sing me towards some kind of promised refuge, but they never offered me anything except more of what i was already left with -

fear, constant fear, that things don't change, they just reshape themselves into shadows, into 3 a.m night lights and closed mouths that never stopped trembling.

someone teach me how to sleep
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