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CGW 9h
When I am alone the dark thoughts return.
You don't know me.
Like parasites they rot me from the inside out.
Making me scream inside.
Death is my master.
Sitting on a storm playing puppets with my emotions.
Controlled calculated movements.
A darkness in my eyes.
I'm trying to grasp reality but only capable of
gasping anxiety.
I'm trying mother but the waves are too high.
Goodbye world.
I've seen enough.
"computer turn off."
This is made up.
Not based upon me or anyone else.
Rayne 13h
Have you ever sat in the dark in your room at 3 in the morning,
Wishing you could just escape from that dark cloud busy forming?
You walk to school with a smile with a mask on your face,
And no matter how hard you try you can’t help feeling out of place.
These parts of you you can’t understand but you wish you just could,
But instead you plug in headphones and hide beneath the jacket hood.

Have you ever had the thought while sitting in the dark all alone,
Laying on your bed and yet saying to yourself, “I just want to go home”?
And the hurt eats you away and your anxiety caves in,
Still you cover it up the next day, cover it all with the same grin.

These words are for you- the ones that feel there’s nothing left,
To give you hope and let you know it’s not time to give up yet.
There’s still something great out there that’s just out of your reach,
But it’s getting closer, you’re getting stronger, you must not accept defeat.
Pain is only temporary and I know that it can feel like forever,
But your potential is more than this even the worst things get better.

I take it you don’t believe me- think this is just another rhyme,
Trying to motivate you and convince you differently this time.
But this one’s not like the others because trust me I would know,
Even I have to push myself up sometimes when I’m feeling extremely low.
I know exactly what it’s like to feel the worst pain- the burden of life,
To want nothing more than to sit in the quiet and slice skin with a knife.
To be crying for hours ***** and shaking, soaking in a tub,
Trying to feel something real as you watch your arms boiling with blood.
And not a single day goes by where I don’t think the worst of thoughts,
But it’s possible to get through like me- I refused and I fought.
Those thoughts don’t have to define you and the feelings are nothing more
Than devils knocking persistently, you just don’t open up the door.

People may not understand and try to change your mind like it’s easy;
I know it’s not but with determination you can, believe me.
This isn’t what’s meant for you, you still have so much more,
Your life has only started there’s still so much more in store.
It’s hard to find hope I know because I’ve struggled too,
****, I still struggle and sometimes feel there’s nothing more to do.

But just know you have a friend in this fight, you’re not on your own,
I may just be a stranger, but my words are all too well known.
I hope when your heart is aching and you feel like the only one,
You can remind yourself of your beauty before picking up that gun,
Or picking up those pills, that rope- don’t let these thoughts banter,
Pain is only temporary- don’t end it with a permanent answer.
Daniel 15h
Come with me
I'll take you into the darkness
We can pretend we are happy
No more pain and anxiety
You can be the light
I'll be drawn to your attention
We can pretend we know whats real
And take turns coloring imaginary roses
You can have my heart
Attached to a chain
I'll never leave your side
Together we can go insane
Heart skips
like a warped record,
trembles over scarred vinyl
until "I love you"
tastes incomplete:

(I)                love                 you

I                  (love)               you

I                   love                (you).

My Swan Song mewls off key,
cascades across the
marred terrain of my soul
in a thick lacquer of tears.
Notes flatline
in unison with my
waning pulse
(waning, like the face
of the moon on the night
of my eighteenth birthday)

My breath
resigns to static,
dances in slow decrescendos--
sputters its way
towards nothingness,
slipping rapidly from
my consciousness until
I no longer hold
any recollection of the music
(or the poetry)
Don't be a stranger--check out my blog!

jadefbartlett.wixsite.com/tickledpurple

(P.S. Use a computer to ensure an optimal reading experience)
I've created my own monster
                  I've built my own labyrinth
                               Believe me
                             It's not funny

                 I thought you're a sunshine
                       You're no sunshine
                      Your rays are strong
                             It burns me

                      How could I escape
                  From this place i've made
                I'm supposed to be the king
                       Ruler of everything

                      Now I am a prisoner
                  Of this freaking monster
                    I thought we're friends
                         I just thought so

                             Oh monster
                         Please let me go
                    We're strangers before
             Can we go back to that scenario?
Lisa 1d
I know what it feels like to be madly in love with someone,
And suddenly they hit u up with we need to break up,
It feels like your heart is ripped out of your chest,
It feels like your dying but in slow motion,
It feels like your being stabbed and shot at the same time
heavy is the tide
that swallows lungs and organs
depression inside
I have all these **** words stuck in my throat but I can only manage to write 11 words.
I think of how much
I miss you,
imagine you throbbing
inside of me like
a heaving serpent,
your venom
seductively lethal.

{detach}


I say your name;
scream your name;
howl your name;
let it linger on my tongue
in stale dewdrops of desire,
in bitter muscle memory
I've never managed
to drink away.
{wash my mouth out with soap}

I write about you.
haphazard,
illegible lacerations
on unsuspecting parchment.

{They ask if I am afraid
he will read this poem

"No,"
I profess--
he's never cared
for any words
but his own}
Don't be a stranger--check out my blog!

jadefbartlett.wixsite.com/tickledpurple

(P.S. Use a computer for an optimal reading experience)
Classy 1d
the sun always rise from the darkness,
and so are you,
my dear.
Grace 1d
I don’t be here
Cause when I am
It’s like I’m new here
And my pain surprises me
Wakes me up
From nightmare to nightmare

I go somewhere
In my thoughts I’m lost
The comfortable kind
A drive with no destination
Coloring out of the lines
It’s easier that way
Don’t make me stay

I have rage inside of me
It comes out on my family
But mostly on myself
This constant bickering with
Me and mine

I want to give it all up sometimes

It’s as if I’m always floating
Between me and the air
Debating where is best to be
What thoughts I owe to the moment

I have guilt for the years I lost
And I have habits that I don’t
Even see most of the time
I want to scream most of the time

I keep trying to remind myself that
It’s not so serious
It’s all okay
And it all works out how it should
But that doesn’t match
The depth of what I’m feeling
It feels pretty ******* serious to me

I left myself deliberately last week
Traveled to the past and hopped on the train of
Ambivalence
Abuse
In some ways it was preferable
I know how to be abused
I know where to go and what to say
I know how to hold my body
What posture is correct

I don’t know about this other ****
This moving on
This feeling
This allowing
Accepting
My thoughts are a haven from the world of pain in my whole body
My consciousness feels tainted
My soul feels weak

I’m so sick of battling
I want to be free and the only way out is in
I know it is
And my fighting it is only making matters worse
I don’t know how not to though
I don’t know how to exist without losing myself
I don’t know how to love without becoming the other person
I don’t know how to breathe without wilting on the exhale
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