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Wanting to scream
But nobody heard
I lived in darkness yet feared being alone

I couldn’t speak
Of the voices I heard
The ones that gave me the blade and told me to, “Get to work”

But honestly, most of it’s on me,
I never wanted them to look

I said things I didn’t really mean,
But depends on what you took

I was unable
To cope with the

Situation

I was unstable
Pulse Apr 24
in my bones lives a wretched creature,
one who has settled into the hollows of all i am
and ****** all of the emotion from my bones.
the insatiable thing that has drained the bone marrow of feeling from the skeleton that attempts to keep me upright.

in the place where my heart should be there is instead;
a dreadful, calming, horrid, peaceful, numbness.
and the ghost of my heart beats and allows my circulatory system to spread the tainted poison throughout my body—
following the paths my veins leave and imbuing the bitterness and hurt and regret into the longing and want and pain in a twisted version of the blood that i bleed.

and we do not speak of my mind my love, for while this twisted science may bring you to falsely believe you are prepared for it—
my mind is a dangerous and dreadful and horrid place, my dear.

i fear it and it will be the end of me.

until then, i'll let you in just enough to grow accustomed to my tainted and horrifying anatomy.

any more than that and you will leave me, my beloved.
Ice said he would do
Anything for Sun. But he
Grabbed her sunny ray,
And he melted his skin. Oh,
Ice—you were fooled by the Sun.
And vice versa as the Sun was fooled by the Ice, thinking he would always stay; the Sun thought she would never be hurt.

(Written after a test)
m h John Mar 30
what is it about them?
i must be missing something
you keep saying they’re doing nothing
you’re just too intoxicated to notice
how that little white bar
makes you so unstable,
falling asleep at the coffee table
levitating out of your mind
to help pass the time
where you meloncholy rage
inside your pretty little mind
self medication isn’t always the answer to your troubles
morrigan Mar 27
it runs in the family---
emptiness of the heart
that swallows you up
like black ooze from the depths sticking to your limbs.

it runs in the family---
emotional fragility
resembling a crying child
who never learned how to not get her way.

it runs in the family---
emotional volatility
extreme highs and lows
like a rollercoaster ride from ****.

i can't run from my family---
it'll always be here
deep inside
a curse by blood.
Blue Ribbons Mar 5
Four walls,
Two windows,
Riddled with cracks.

In this tiny, big world,
She finds herself trapped.

Her only comfort,
A dying star.
Once a beaconing light,
From worlds so far.

It shelters her spirit,
From the cold and the bleak.
And caresses her soul,
with melodies so sweet.

Yet this star is dying,
Its heartbeat is weak.
And the young girl dreads,
what will happen when it leaves.

For the star was her guardian,
It kept her safe.
Without its warm light,
Her world might just break.

For the cracks are growing,
These cracks in her wall.
What happens when they engulf her world that's so small.
I'm always trying to keep my feet on solid ground
As the world around me crumbles
Powdered sand
r
u
n
n
i
n
g
through my fingers

I'm glad I have that trust space
Something
SOLID
I can always fall .
                                .
                                  .
 ......                             on
20.11.2018
I've made the poem end just as unstable and incomplete as the feelings in motion through the poem.
If I'm worth the fight,
then I can take a hit.
It isn't whether I win,
it's if I refuse to quit.
That's funny, because just wait,
for about 24 hours.
Where I'll gain the tremors,
but lose uncertain power.
An inner conflict is my battle,
but one I don't think ends.
Should I be authentically useless?
There's a home I could transcend.
I could ascend upon my limits,
I'm a king to every kind of thinking.
I control my darkness,
in the rapid form of blinking.
Open, close, open, close,
My fists could match the sides.
They're knocking on my skull,
of course I'm gonna abide.
I lost purpose when I dropped value,
when nothing stopped me from the pain.
if all I give to the world is anger,
why shouldn't I receive the same??
---------------------------------------------
I relapsed again, I hate myself.
Punched a wall so hard I instantly bruised my knuckles.
Pulled out a patch of my hair.
Made my leg blue from hitting it so hard.
I feel like I deserve this.
And is my thought differing from the truth?
I don't think so.
Keep living, y'all.
I'll do the same.
All feedback is welcome and appreciated.
Phantom Poet Dec 2018
I... Just need a friend,
I just want the loneliness to end,
I just want my life.....
To end.
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