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River Sep 13
shes been broken so many times before
lost sight of any light
in her life its just nothing but despair
sitting alone with a heart
that seems to have disappeared
her mind isnt stable
to handle any more words
she just wants to hide away from the world
shes like fragile glass
all she needs is one more tap
then shes completely broke and
there is no more going back
“I wanted to hold on to someone. But even my inner circle seemed far away. Some seemed to not care about what I had to say. My life seemed unstable just like the chemicals in my brain. I just wanted someone to care, to actually truly care about me. Maybe they did, but I couldn’t see it. Maybe they were there offering their support but I was too deaf to hear it. Too blinded and deafened by my own pain and loneliness. I feel I have nothing to hold on to. Nothing. No purpose. No motive. No one. And when there is nothing, you find there no purpose to breathe.”
I thought vulnerability was for the weak.
Even when I let you inside my thoughts
I've had both hands on your steering wheel.
I swerve hard left turns on the difficult memories,
dodging the on coming traffic of blatant truths.
My minds is a pile up on intestate 98
but I have you on the detour route
to Mr. Nice Guy lane on the road of "life is okay".
The next stop is "I am happy" street on the corner
of "you will be all right" avenue and "I don't care" lane.
But these fabricated roads are painted over signs
that trick you into believing that I am truly "fine".
But all the cars have crashed and burned
and now you know the truth.
Insomnia is literally killing me right now but hey makes some interesting poems
Questions come in stories
Building towers full of worries
For me to leap off of and into a sea
A sea of anxiety, never-ending, undying
And although I laugh as if my wilting flower is fine
It wilts until completely deprived
Dried and deceased, crumbled and stagnant, at least
Up and down goes my merry-go-round
Crooked crown, a king resting on hell hounds
Painted portraits, of hypnotic orchids
I've lost my mind
In a mania.

In a mania
I've lost my mind
My emotions have become so much more synthetic
Abolished to hell where the bad dogs go
Spinning round and round, disrupting my mental flow
Chaotic, messy, lively, wet, to say the most
It grows until completely fulfilled
Although I cry, because my growing weeds are poor
I feel somewhat okay, on this burning sediment
And as I clutch onto the rope above me
Burning the ground of any hope
Answers are lost in mazes
Through my vein deppression flowing.
Like a virus  frustrating my cells.
Like a stage covered by curtains.
Black, that color I've see sometimes.
I don't know if that ever will past me away.
Maybe it will stay forever, I don't know.
I can't always smile. I'm unstable.
I won't to bring so much troubles in your life.
The mess in my mind.
julianna May 13
Wanting to scream
But nobody heard
I lived in darkness yet feared being alone

I couldn’t speak
Of the voices I heard
The ones that gave me the blade and told me to, “Get to work”

But honestly, most of it’s on me,
I never wanted them to look

I said things I didn’t really mean,
But depends on what you took

I was unable
To cope with the

Situation

I was unstable
Pulse Apr 24
in my bones lives a wretched creature,
one who has settled into the hollows of all i am
and ****** all of the emotion from my bones.
the insatiable thing that has drained the bone marrow of feeling from the skeleton that attempts to keep me upright.

in the place where my heart should be there is instead;
a dreadful, calming, horrid, peaceful, numbness.
and the ghost of my heart beats and allows my circulatory system to spread the tainted poison throughout my body—
following the paths my veins leave and imbuing the bitterness and hurt and regret into the longing and want and pain in a twisted version of the blood that i bleed.

and we do not speak of my mind my love, for while this twisted science may bring you to falsely believe you are prepared for it—
my mind is a dangerous and dreadful and horrid place, my dear.

i fear it and it will be the end of me.

until then, i'll let you in just enough to grow accustomed to my tainted and horrifying anatomy.

any more than that and you will leave me, my beloved.
Ice said he would do
Anything for Sun. But he
Grabbed her sunny ray,
And he melted his skin. Oh,
Ice—you were fooled by the Sun.
And vice versa as the Sun was fooled by the Ice, thinking he would always stay; the Sun thought she would never be hurt.

(Written after a test)
morrigan Mar 27
it runs in the family---
emptiness of the heart
that swallows you up
like black ooze from the depths sticking to your limbs.

it runs in the family---
emotional fragility
resembling a crying child
who never learned how to not get her way.

it runs in the family---
emotional volatility
extreme highs and lows
like a rollercoaster ride from hell.

i can't run from my family---
it'll always be here
deep inside
a curse by blood.
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