Oh arrhythmia take lightly on me,
white blue rooms stare absently.
Flutter chest and weaken inside,
my heart has been untied.
Oh arrhythmia gently fall down,
down on me, on me, I die renown.
Come down on me and shatter,
strongest burst is weaker than the rest,
my breath is frayed, or tatter,
for my heart is weak within my chest.
I'm too much and not enough,
I'm nothing and I'm everything,
I sleep too little, wake too late,
And I dream too much, want too much, feel too much...
Or nothing at all.
I talk too much and I breathe too fast,
I can't take everything in as quickly as I should,
And I get attacked so fast,
It's like a fury , fresh, fierce.
I am scarred by the sinews that bind me
And I am scared of
My legs were shaking
as I inched my way towards the
cold tile floor
on a Friday afternoon
It climbed up my spine
Into my hands
as the water in the cup
Shook and spilled
onto the floor
I look at the new mess before me
then up at the one in the mirror
staring right back
as I realize
as of now
only one can be helped
Because the shakes came
and left just as quick
but the thoughts that clawed
took root within my mind for weeks
And after they grew comfortable
they invited the guest of honor to vacation
within the gaping hole of emptiness
that existed within my chest
Except when he was there it didn't
feel so empty
and even though i asked them to leave
they had grown too comfortable
with my discomfort
to give it all up
Nothing is stable
Because I'm use to instability
This ground is not fertile
So get use to infertility
I might be able
And not have the ability
Everyone one needs saving
But there isn't a savior
Through many of labors
We try to find loyalty
Which is funny because
We're all used to enemies
Nothing is labelled
Its all under the table
Nothing has flavor
But it still taste good to me
You want to love like you're dying
With no time to wait
And all hearts at stake
Die like you're living
Forget all the hearts you break
When I'm tired I seem to be the most calm
When I'm stressed I feel relaxed when I'm anxious I keep on waiting
For my paranoia to detach
I tend to want to get high
But I embrace the night
Like an introvert I'm in my mind like I wear its design and material things are measured in time and all the time I seem to whine
Just to be extra ordinary
Lord I'm wary
I wonder what's going to happen next weekend
I’m completely unstable.
I’m mentally unkind.
I’m physically unsafe.
I’m a demon in disguise.
Not who you believe.
Not you, or me.
Who am I but a sociopath.
What am I but a demon.
But a girl hidden in lies.
But a girl who toys.
But who am I but a lie.
Who am I but a sociopathic girl.
What but a dead body hiding a monster.
What better word than unstable?
What better to describe than unkind?
Staring at the cold weather through the window,
think of all the ways I can win dough.
Every idea.. BINGO! But my two cents don't pay the rent though.
And I cant eat my thoughts for food so I'm stuck in limbo.
That's a food for thought that fucked up my credentials,
Because they kept offering me a penny for my thoughts until I said I was bruised and scarred so they gave me time off for being "mentally unstable".
If I tell them I'm not, I have to go back to my job of making my way to the hell hole but what choice do I got when It's either that or keep playing the role of scapegoat.
It's driving me insane and the pills I pop wont make the pain go. Meanwhile my stairway to heaven is literally blocked by my guardian angel.
Free. Not free
Our speech taken
Lies upon lies
Deviants, narcissists , mentally unstable
Make a decision or don't
Don't rob the poor
This working class hero, tattered forlorn
With ya big flashy car
And ya stupid big house
Greedy, unflumoxed with no sense of guilt
Robber. Thief. Politician !