My cupboards full of treats
I wish I could just eat
Instead of planing my life around
Stock piled up like the world is ending
But I'm scared of venturing out of my comfort zone
Leaving the bunker my mind's created
Incase I gain too much weight or loose my facial shape
Ruled by a number on a packet
Pushed down my a disorder in my head.
To the man who is up all night,
Who some never see.

Isn't it lovely to be?
To be paid to just to watch them sleep.

So peaceful in their slumbers.

You rarely have a thing to do.
Yet you are paid none the less.

But the job costs more than it pays...

And your jabbering keeps haunted minds alert and on guard.

And its hard for you to be alert too...

When you need to be.

For appointments, errands, social activities, and such.

You take care of us...
But you must take care of you!

Oh mystery man who does not sleep.
Be careful my dear.

Someday it may be you,
Restless in their beds.
I've laid on my back
And taken you willingly,

Because I thought I was powerless...

And you thought you were powerful.

But if you look closely,
You'll find we're the same.

Just two sides of a coin...

Who can't see each other's face.
And don't know each other's name.
Danneli 22h
Look down the river, into the leaves
Do you see the lone cross that hides near the trees?
It tells of a tale only I can recall
I watched from the side, I lived through it all.
In the winter she cried, her note told of wrong
Her father had passed and her mother was gone
She screamed through her pain, the walls had foretold
But then she grew quiet, her heart had grown cold
In the spring she was gone, shut up inside
He knocked at her window, in him she'd confide
I cried in my room, my mind left my head
But I remained there
Nearly dead in my bed.
There has always been an obvious difference between my sister and I. She is the sun and I am the moon. This turned out to be another example of who we are and who sees us.
SoZaka 1d
metal burns skin as blood boils inside
air from lungs glazing the eyes
a dangerous perilous point of view
from a mountaintop into a valley of lies

clock in the darkness reading what cannot be read
a taste of the tongue from what cannot be said
to shiver and shake on a cold hill
on the coldest day of all
better than ever should you fall
anger depression rage hopelessness bipolar frustration hope
SoZaka 1d
A stationary set for my 21st birthday
going the right way since I turned wrong
one other lover than the one I've got
my head and my heart have fought
like this before

a mistake to hit the gas off the cliff with a
soul made of glass
I fell out of my mind and right back in
no way to stop from going your direction
fly butterfly on a railroad cloud
through a one way sky
my train is on to your station
in just a moments time
addiction,  self love following your intuition and guidance self development growth transformation
touch me not, but also do
i hate your hands but i love them, too
proceed with caution, i know not how to trust
and when i say so: stop, you must
a brush of fingers might make me flinch
but if you give a mile, i might give an inch
i know i'm difficult, there's little to admire
but if you stay, you'll see through my ire
i'm trying to learn, to understand love
to figure out that touch isn't to be afraid of
i want to learn how to be in love
and i think you just might be the one
with whom i'll make it to the long run
so touch me now, i'll touch you too
because these eyes are seeing you
and i never want them to close again
i think you're my happy never end
11.12.17
emnabee 5d
What do you do with a memory so sacred,
yet so heavy it weighs you down?

You don’t want to share it,
because it might get broken or scarred.

I suggest,
Don’t be scared.
Bravely, let it out.

Let others see it, whether as poem or art.

You might find that it is flawed or really not that great.
Or that others can relate, and appreciate.

And now you’re feeling lighter
since you’re free from that weight.

That is how you heal.
That is how you win.

Clear out that space, and let new memories in.
My depression wasn’t late nights and sad songs,
It was sleeping all day or none for a week,
I couldn’t think for myself as i was stuck on auto pilot,
My mind was trapped in a prison i didn’t build,
And screaming for help was useless no one was around for miles.

When i started to dress in things other than hoodies and sweatpants,
Everyone thought i was a-okay again,
I didn’t want to be a bother so i just went along with it,
I’m fine i’m good but was i really,
Not lying to everyone else but myself as well.

My depression fueled my eating disorder,
And it was too much for my boyfriend so he left,
I don’t need him or anyone else,
I’m going to get through this on my own,
Regardless if someone stands next to me or not.

I’ll never fully recover and that’s okay,
The calculator in my head still clicks from time to time,
And the clock by my bed will still scream at me in the afternoon,
But i can ignore the numbers and get out of bed,
If that’s not recovering,

What is?
ive suffered w/ bulimia and severe depression for over 4 years and i know thats not long and i may not have been underweight or been impatient but im recovering one day at a time.
If you were feeling like it was so right,
Then you most probably ignored the wrong.
If you have never had to have a fight,
Then you kept anger in to get along.

If you have never cried like this before,
Then you had never opened up your heart.
If you think none will love you anymore,
Then you should know that now is when you start.

If you’re alone unable to explain,
Then you are stuck in someone else’s head.
If you think that despair is part of pain,
Then you should love somebody good instead.

The man you loved before was fraudulent.
A worthy man won’t hurt you with intent.
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