When I say Zombies ate my neighbors, I'm not talking about a video game.
Zombies ate my neighbors and I'm one of the Zombies who is to blame.
Because my family and I are undead, it put us in very bad moods.
My family and I croaked because our neighbors poisoned our food.
A big corporation was going to pay top dollar for every house on the block.
But when my family and I refused to sell, the neighbors were angry and shocked.
I wouldn't sell the house that I've lived in since I was five.
And that is why my wife and kids and I did not survive.
Our neighbors had a barbecue and my family and I ate the food that they grilled.
But we wouldn't have touched the food if we had known that we would be killed.
My family and I have risen from the grave, we have green skin and are zombies.
When our neighbors saw us, they ****** their pants and cried for their mommies.
Our neighbors killed us because money was something they thought they'd gain.
When we had our homicidal neighbors for supper, we started with their brains.
Our greedy neighbors killed us and we returned the favor.
Stay away from my family and I because human flesh is what we savor.
One day a giraffe called
Betty Boo woke up feeling
slightly dark blue , she
looked up at the sky
and saw the sun disappear
behind chilly clouds!
She knew it was that
time of the year when green leaves
fell off the big trees.
Betty Boo loved to
snuggled up to the tree leaves
She loved the soft warmth
of the summer sun
upon her face especially
when it’s dinner time
She could eat her food
without being seen , the trees
as tall as her gave
her some privacy.
Even the sparrows magpies
pigeons and robins
would flutter away
so Betty Boo could enjoy
her dinner , she loved
apples and pears and
grapes and peaches and she drank
the dewdrops from the
warm summer leaves , made
her eyes sparkle and her eye
lashes grow..but autumn
is now here and she
must brace herself to share her
dinner time with her
animal friends , she
loved her friends but some ate quite
messy making her
belly feel queasy.
Then she got a brainwave and
popped along to her
local big forest
shopping Mall where she bought a
few packets of soft
hankerchiefs ! That cool
autumn afternoon she showed
and taught some of her
friends table manners!
First of all her friends huffed and
puffed but they soon came
around to Betty
Boo idea, Betty Boo smiled
Autumn seems not that
bad now! Dinner time
was due and Betty Boo and
her friends ate happy
After each munch each
animal would dab the lost
stranded food away
from there faces which
made Betty Boo belly laugh
and rumble so loud
everyone looked at
her , sorry said Betty Boo!
Any suggestions to help
my giraffe belly
not rumble! And before dear
Betty Boo could
say another word
everyone laughed so much it
woke up the sleeping
sun who smiled so
wide that fallen autumn leaves
coloured the earth with
a beautiful warm
magical carpet that took
Betty Boo and her
friends for a fun day
out flying and racing through
the big happy sky
One of children stories , inspired to be read to my grandchildren one day x so fun to write x
North African English teachers
Are so rare in Peru;
However, I was sent right there
By the Erasmus - EU.
My adventures didn't even start
When I felt strong unease;
As if I was followed by some,
Some dark and unseen breeze.
My first day was ruined by a bite
Happened in the toilet;
I saw a shade in the mirror,
Then, some tooth and eyelet.
On my first day I got injured
That was badly enough;
However, the first day kept me
A night just alike tough.
Knock-knock-knock I heard on my door,
The darkness was shallow;
Knock-knock without answer,
My guest was Diablo.
I'd been never superstitious,
Though, I believed in Jinns;
Just as I was a believer
Of many other things.
Knock-knock-knock - for a hundred times,
As if my head was' door;
My fear' fulfilled with angriness,
I faced the corridor.
I got the door slowly ajar,
A black claw might me seize;
I snapped its hand and bring Quran,
"It's time to Exorcise!"
The demon tore the door crying,
Of Quranic verses;
The North African welcoming
Has no demon versus.
When it comes to my neighbor, I usually have a fit.
He irritates the hell out of me and he's a chicken ****.
He has wild parties that last until 3 A.M.
I'm sick of having to put up with him.
When I went to his house one night,
I made the mistake of challenging him to a fight.
When he showed up for the fight, the wimp brought along four other guys.
He talks tough but when it comes to being a chicken ****, he takes the prize.
Showing up with four other men made him feel empowered.
I got my *** handed to me but unlike him, I'm not a coward.
All five of them beat the crap out of me and they made me eat their fists.
Now I have to gum my food because my teeth are gone and sorely missed.
But at least I was able to land one very hard punch.
I hit my neighbor in the belly and he lost his lunch.
It didn't take long to realize something that I'm not ashamed to admit.
I got the living hell beat out of me but at least I'm not a chicken ****.
A man's birthday only comes around once a year.
You wanted revenge because I drank your last beer.
You decided to get even by ruining my birthday.
You got even by giving me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.
You know that I hate the new Doctor Who, I think it's a piece of crap.
Now you've started crying like a two year old because I gave you a slap.
I loathe the new Doctor Who TV Show and I let everybody know about it.
You bought me a piece of crap for my birthday and it's making me throw a fit.
Even though I apologized for drinking your last beer, you decided to make me pay.
You had an evil grin on your face as you handed me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.
Everybody had to cover their ears because I said a lot of cuss words.
I burned your present because I would've rather been given a ****.
THE ONLY TRUE THING ABOUT THIS POEM IS THE FACT THAT I HATE THE NEW DOCTOR WHO TV SHOW.
Last week while I slept, my **** neighbor decided to rob me.
He stole my car which was an identical copy of the General Lee.
As I painted the car, he told me not to include the flag that was on top.
When he saw me adding the flag, the **** fool demanded that I stop.
My neighbor wanted me to stop because the Confederate Flag isn't politically correct.
He was going to take the car to the crusher but died when the car was wrecked.
I punched out that PC ***** because I got tired of hearing him nag.
He stole my car because I ignored his demand not to include the flag.
He decided to jump the General Lee as he drove down the road.
He wouldn't have done that if he'd known the car would explode.
A car gets demolished if it's jumped in real life, but that was something he didn't know.
He wanted revenge because I added that flag and the Pearly Gates was where he had to go.
The place of many
Why I met my
Saw momma mia
And went to a university
That's where my goal where
My eight year old son was sick and I'm falling apart.
My eight year old died and it has broken my heart.
Even though he was just a child, he died of cancer.
You may be wondering why and I may have the answer.
Cancer is something that runs in my family.
And because of that, my wife blames me.
I begged God for a miracle but my son didn't get what he was needing.
He died and his mother hates me, she has started divorce proceedings.
Why do things like this happen, why has my life been so unfair?
I lost my only son and my wife and it's too much for me to bear.
Please don't feel bad because of what I just did and please don't cry.
I've taken an overdose of pills to end my misery, I intend to die.
Her name is Chun Li and she first appeared in Street Fighter II.
Don't make this woman angry or she'll beat the hell out of you.
Many people make a comment that embarrasses her and her face turns red.
They tell her that she's supposed to wear her bra on her chest instead of her head.
Chun Li studied Martial Arts for several years and she sure does know how to fight.
And if you have any drugs, she'll steal them because she likes to get higher than a kite.
I had to travel through eight worlds to save Princess Peach.
But she's about as warm and caring as a blood ******* leech.
After killing seven fake Bowsers, I finally destroyed the real one.
I did it to save Peach but it was something I shouldn't have done.
She turned out to be a snob, she called me dumb and Luigi dumber.
She said that we're worthless in her eyes because we're just plumbers.
I had to fight turtles and Goombas and I told her that I deserved to be thanked.
She said that I'm dust beneath her feet and I decided that she should be spanked.
I put her over my knee and I spanked that soft ***.
She cried and cried which proves that she has no class.
I was only given a few lives and I had to travel through thirty-two levels to be able to win.
I would've dumped Peach in the lava instead of Bowser if I had things to do over again.