Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Jeremy Betts Feb 4
I don't have enough room up there for it to be all in my head
From the heaping piles of motionless dreams strewn across the floor, looking pretty dead
To the racks on racks on racks in multiple mile high stacks of things I wish I'd not said
Can't put the issues to rest if I myself can't drum up the will to get out of bed
It's not strictly fear I feel whilst preparing for checkout, it's the overbearing weight of dread

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 2022
Listen closely when I say this, I don't want to be this, seemingly utterly and socially useless, maybe I spoke it into existence
Best case scenario, this is a ridiculous place to claim as my residence but I never bothered to put forth any resistance
I sit motionless yet some how makin' progress but of course it's lackluster at best, barely a measurable distance
Still forced to press on through 39 rounds of this rigged contest, feeling foolish in lue of my new found cluelessness
Pretending my grip on reality isn't bogus, wishing it was possible to possess more than just a faulty compass
And what good is a shoulder angel drunk off two fifths, ******* me with the devils fist and a strap-on apparatus
How'd it get like this? Was there an exit I missed? Who put destiny up to this?
It's been a continuous loosing battle with this mentality of a defeatist and it means business with tape from wrist to fist
Feel as helpless as a fetus once outside the ****** in the eyes of half of Congress, ******* preposterous
An optimistic pessimist trapped inside a pessimistic optimist, chew on this, I claim the glass itself is a myth
Flip flop from avoiding to chasing deaths kiss, back and forth with reckless abandon that's settin' dangerous precedents
Hiding this incurable, terminal illness in plain sight, a relentless and ravenous sickness
Cancerous thoughts are more than an irritating noosance, it's a merciless menice encased in madness
What am I supposed to learn from this? They say everyone plays the fool sometimes but this is ridiculous, plus, I don't see the purpose
A phony realist, a visually impaired key eye witness. Who hears the crys for help from within the shadows of darkness?
Don't tell me it's the same heartless putts in charge of forgiveness, I need real help so I'm gonna pass on the self-righteous
Is there anybody who knows and could possibly tell me if then why I actually exist
Could they, would they let me know how long all this bull shiits gonna persist?
An existential crisis, I'll give you the knife if you promise to twist and leave it in my back for others to witness
There I am, atop of my own hit list and shiit list, racing toward the top spots like it's a goal I refuse not to witness
Take a shot, I insist, do or do not, there is no try with a mind overwhelmed with sadness
Tripped and slipped and fell head first into madness, it's my ****** up opus, I don't know where hope is
The line between good and evil seems seamless, can't beet 'em join 'em so I tried to harness the darkness, obviously a swing and a miss
I'm the catalyst of my own demize, an apologist for this Hyde side I can't evict with any permanence
Utterly incapable, physically and mentally unable to trespass him from the premises
So I come unglued at the seems and fall to pieces below the surface, letting life continue it's nonconsensual coitus
Here's my thesis, it's better for the masses if I continue suffering in silence and not be anyone elses regrets
Build a wall around this temple, turn open boarders to a closed fortress
No exit or entrance, not allowing me in your presence while keeping life at a distance
Not sure I'll survive this but let's be honest, I don't really need to venture a guess
Let's just say the answer is not a simple yes but it's my reality none the less

©2022
Lupus- May 2020
My thoughts drown me out
Unable to ask for help or shout
The bad haunting my head
On my fears it's what it fed

It's all flowing down no way to stop
With misery and sorrow in every drop
My vision no longer clear
Blurred out by what I fear

All these emotions whirling inside
Tired of having to hide
So they get out all at once
With all its mighty force

When destroying everything in its way
Nothing peaceful can stay
There's no end, there's no control
For my feelings bursting out along with my soul

Unable to breathe I guess I forgot how
Confused on what to do now
I just lay there motionless
Tired and hopeless

Making an effort to speak, but can't understand a word
My gasping is the only thing heard
I'm breaking down, nothing is functioning
Except for my eyes only capable of crying

I was living a dark nightmare
Monsters coming to life without a care
I'm left weak hearing all these voices
Unable to make other choices

It was terrifying feeling all alone
In this fearsome and menacing zone
An endless pain I don't want to come back
For I fear I won't have enough strength to counter the attack
...mental breakdown...
Philomena Jun 2019
I wanna break free from my humanity
I wanna release the animal in me
Break free from your curiosity
You're gonna give me what I need

I've got blood on my hands
No guilt on my conscience
The war in your path, the "*** in your violence"
All of my flaws, I wear 'em with honor
A purple heartbreak for all we've suffered

I am the enemy
Poetress2 Apr 2019
After the nightly news,
she faces the ***** wall;
She ***** her wrinkled thumb,
as she curls up in a ball.
~
She knows what's soon to come,
it happens every night;
When the nightly news is over,
this small child's full of fright.
~
And just like all the nights before,
they come into her room;
She has to reassure herself,
"This will all be over soon."
~
Her breathing becomes shallow,
"Perhaps they'll think I'm dead;"
"Your being such a good, little girl,"
is the only words they said.
~
Motionless she lays there,
as they touch her baby soft skin;
She feels overwhelmingly ill,
guilty and shamed from within.
~
When they are finished using her,
they leave without saying a word;
She shakes as she cradles her Teddy,
this precious three-year old girl.
Julischka Jan 2019
Rain is pouring down my skin
And I’m not moving.
Motionless.
I’m standing here notionless
And let the drops wash away my pain.
Dilute the poison.
Cleanse the pores.
Just that my soul could slowly creep back
Through the open doors.
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Wish I could do something right
So words would ring true
Wish I met high expectations
Maybe then I could lose a few

I wish I was not weighted with
Weakness well within my core
If only I was put together differently
Strength would emit from every pore

I create my shortcomings
How am I sabotaging my own goal?
Not trying in the first place
Allowing fear to take control

My heart bleeds in anticipation
Before cuts have a chance to appear
Live my life in apprehension
Assuming danger to always be near

My motionless state of insecurity
Realm of dysfunctional doubt
I forever am encapsulated in time
My skull is a jail and I cannot get out
Not so proud of this one but eh.. here it is anyway

Written 8/25/18
Kewayne Wadley Jul 2018
I had this tremendous fear.
The mist soon all around;
The water around capsizes.
Substance attends, a funeral of sorts.
I've never ventured this far.
Soon they return, looking back.
Fleeing wildish scream.
My former thought bold.
Such my hope.
Resurfacing the ill fated.
The thought of sinking.
Forced to roam in darkness.
Where would I place my feet.
Perplexed, nothing was the same.
Cold, unable to find comfort.
I drifted, longing to chance the size of waves.
Distant waters courteous in expectation.
I too braced for it.
Becoming motionless.
Awaiting descent.

Not all ships sink.
The voyage extended from strangers eyes.
When the wind stops and the sail settles.
Some peculiar gaze, heavily weighed in length.
The ship sinks.
But this I feel far too late.
I am at the bottom.
The bottom of her heart
Aidan Mays Apr 2018
Unwavering I stand before the onslaught of decay;
A gust of wind will wear me thin;
and the downpour of rain will leave streaks across my cheek;
But I am unchanged;
I dare not make a move, for if I take a step I'll crumble and fall;
But today I am myself and shall not change until I turn to dust;
I am a man set in stone;
Silent and motionless;
Next page