This sliding out of my toughened skin
and donning a more subtle, supple one
that fits so much better
my personality and soul
I thought I had lost the smoothness
the eloquent softness and creamy texture
which I have always felt, always known
but in finding your love, your acceptance
your very being and desire
to captivate and entrance and enthrall
this woman who has always loved
always adored and cared for you--
you've reawakened the suppleness
and fed me an elixir I used to drink
only in my youth
and reminded me that always youth
and beauty and depth of soul
are within one's power and belief;
are merely a state of mind--
and oh, this new found relief
of knowing I am still
and will forever be
the loving, giving, compassionate soul
who has always been just ME.
©Pamela Rae 04.27.1017

For so long the Devil played the strings on my heart
I was a puppet in his hands, feeling this and feeling that
But Christ cut the strings; he replaced the hooks with a heart of flesh

Though still I feel the emotions, I go through the motions
They controlled me for so long, they pulled me along
Like a top, spinning and spinning; now free but it goes through the motions

My heart is free, but resides at pride and hate
My hands are free, and do the devil’s handiwork
My mind is free, but on Christ it does not dwell

Inertia lasts so long; then it’s done and gone
Someday it will be foregone: just hold on!

Little by little, I realize the puppet is free
The sins of my past are no longer steadfast
Spinning and dizzy still, I venture only step by step – but soon I walk freely

My heart is weak and failing, but soon all renewed
My hands are trembling, but reach to embrace the Savior
My mind forgets my sin, and clings to the old rugged cross

For so long, I fought to undo what had been done
Though I was glorified, the shadows of my stains made me tremble
As the spinning stops, so my heart; my sin is finished and I’m made like the savior

From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"

Life, the most widespread joke without a punchline.
We throw ourselves into the playground for amusement, some way to pass the endless stream of time.
We have the power to do many terrible great things but not the will to perform.
We drown in our misunderstanding and want for companionship.
No one wants to meet what comes next alone.
We surround ourselves with the others but are they real or just figments of the great simulation.
Which ones are REAL?
What does it all mean?
We ask repeatedly and distract from the oncoming dread by soaking our brains in pleasure and petty tasks.
When there is none to be found we suffer in nothingness.
Crave the meaning of it all, but fear the truth.
Map the endless universe for an answer but only so far is the reach of a crafted lens.
Sometimes we think we see the solution in the sparkle of another's eyes but love.
Love is but another falsity.
Eventually everything fades, even one's biological function for passion.
Whatever we are, we were meant to seek the answer.
If there is none, we suffer internally eternally.
This is Hell!
What comes next is endless slumber, trapped in the pod of another plain of existence.
Until we dare to amuse ourselves again.
Memory wiped.
The experiment.
The thrill.
The punchline revealed!

A small written expression of my feelings in the search for the meaning of life.

Long time back ,
When I was little ,
I read a story ,
A fairytale

Once upon a time
They lived happily ever after
The End

And my young mind believed
That is how my life will be
when I'll grow up .

And then I realised
this is not how
Realtale ends .

'FairyTale' is the word I found on the eighth page of my book
Ryan Hoysan Mar 31

This is my credo
this is my dogma
this is my statement of belief
you can call this whatever you like
because the title is unimportant
this is my uncompromising doctrine
of which I believe in
to the utmost degree.
Everyone is important
Despite what they may think of themselves
Every single person has a life that matters
No matter how they see their life
I will be the person who is left
When everyone else has left
And you believe yourself to be alone
I will be the one who believes in you
When even you do not believe in yourself
I will be the one to remind you of your beauty
When you forget the beauty you possess
I will be the one who will listen for eternity
When you feel like you are worthless
I will see value and worth within you
Even when you believe yourself to be worth nothing
I will be the one to worry over you
While you worry over everyone else
Come hell or high water
Regardless of the burden it shall place upon my shoulders
I will undertake the task
Of lessening the pain and suffering of others
For I can bear much suffering
And my heart is warmed by the sight
Of suffering and pain being lifted from someone’s shoulders
I will do all that is within my power
Put forth all the effort I can
With mind, body and soul
I step forth into this world
To deny suffering a place here
And to lessen the pain
Felt by any and all
So bring me all the worst
Of your broken
Of your bruised
Of your supposedly insane
Dreams feelings and memories
Bare your soul to me
And I shall reply in kind
Welcoming you in to the depth of my being
And encompassing you within the warmth that I possess
I know that I may not save all
But that will NOT STOP me from trying
To save everyone
Because if I can save even one person
Then any sacrifice is worth the chance

So, if you've made it this far I thank you for taking the time to read this overly large write. Many friends of mine have suffered through many things or are still suffering. These things range from mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts to abuse, family troubles, and a loss of meaning in life. Everyone has their struggles in life, who am I to add any more of a burden onto their shoulders. I try to make the world a better place by taking the burdens of others and placing them upon my own shoulders because I know that I can handle it. I do everything I possibly can to accept every single person, no exceptions, as a whole. People are the sum of their parts, but their parts alone do not define them. I do not expect everyone or even many to share my sentiment, but nonetheless, this is MY sentiment that I am putting forth. If there is anyone who needs someone to talk to on a rough night or if there is anyone who is just looking for a pleasant chat, I welcome both with open arms, please reach out to me through a comment or a message and I will do my best to respond as soon as I can.
CK Baker Mar 29

it’s amazing what we’re capable of...when  pressed
lunar launches
and shaman healing
hail marys
and fortunes of gold
heavy hauls
and broken borders
war, compassion
and treaties of peace
all of those wild and lofty regressions from the mean
soul re-settings
(from deadly deeds)
scores and scriptures
liberty and peace
walls, asylums
(in the jaws of defeat)
channeled spirits
of warmth
and love
and persuasion
and sometimes, it’s just a little crazy fodder
pyramids and viaducts
aqua-lines and chunnels
spider climbs
and deep dives
base jumps near the high wire
gardens and divine art
and even water boards
(for beauty is in the eye of the beholder)
have a look dear friend, it's happening all around

Samantha Lee Mar 25

To all of the nameless...
faces in the crowd at an event
your unity is endearing
it's currency and time you have spent

To all of the nameless...
wanderers sleeping outside in the cold
your fight to survive is empowering
spirit the only thing that remains unsold

To all of the nameless...
users who've surpassed last call
your denial is where the battle begins
a war cry against substance and ethanol

To all of the nameless...
children who lack a daily feast
your hunger no fault of your own
basic human rights have been breached

And to all of the nameless...
believers giving life to cause
your actions are restorative
but we must hold off on applause

When people are united &
hunger and struggle still exist
efforts must be given
until the problems are fixed

Pamela Rae Mar 25

In the wee hours of this darkened time
where most are fast asleep
I sit here wondering what must have been my crime
and why now must I weep
and feel this fear and dread that envelops me--?
And then inside my head and heart
it occurs so suddenly--
all of life is a journey, a challenge, a gift
and though sometimes it feels like a burden
somehow we must find a way to lift
our souls, our hearts up from the ground below
and walk forward with hope and love
that we surely are here to grow

and reach out and spread the joy and delight
that is available to us at all times--
even during the darkest of nights
and unsheathe our secret weapon we carry inside
it is the weapon of knowing and believing
that we're going to be able to ride
this wave and make the best
of whatever it brings our way
And with you right by my side--
we'll journey into another amazing, life filled day!
©Pamela Rae 03.25.2017

Yes, a very frightening, yet exciting journey awaits. We're in another fight for my true love's life, but as long as we're together and strong and in belief of a good outcome, I know this journey will help us to grow and learn. We have our Secret Weapon, after all...
Kat Mar 24

i believe in the impossible
but the impossible

Corine Rose Mar 22

My mama told me to be thankful,
For I will be given blessings.
My mama told me to be nice,
For I will be given more blessings.
My mama told me to speak kind,
For I will be given all the blessings.

I hope you listen to my mama,
Then she will bless you with endless blessings.

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