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Kathryn 8h
I miss you more than I can ever explain
I never expected you would be gone so fast
it doesn't seem fair I wasn't ready to see you like that
In life we always told you your heart was so big
Unknown to us that's what would take you
In sorry I've cried so much but you ment so much to me
7 days ago I seen you dead and I lost part of me
I miss you so much
An enlarged heart took your life. Ironic for a man who was so kind and in life we said had a big heart
A broken man can't see one more tomorrow.
Tears stream down the barrel of his gun.
Perhaps the bullet just might **** his sorrow;
at the very least, the man that he's become.
He grips the pistol, but then somhow he falters
Just before the gun can bring a violent end.
His toilet might as well have been an alter
as he confides in his long-lost, faithful friend:
"Can You stay with me if only for a moment?
Just a little while and, I swear, I'll be just fine.
Hold me close and tell me about atonemen.
It just might make more sense to me this time."

A child cries, but no one's there to listen.
Her ragged doll - the only one who stays.
Momma's eyes are fixed on things that glisten
And daddy swears, one day, he'll change his ways.
A woman sees her standing in the front yard.
She looked like she had not been bathed or fed.
She said, "Baby girl, I've been where you are."
The girl looked down and this is what she said:
"Can You stay with me if only for a moment?
Just a little while and, I swear, I'll be just fine.
Hold me close and tell me about atonement,
It just might make more sense to me this time."

An old man gazes out across the morning.
He remembers when the bells of freedom rang.
But freedom fell not long after the warning
heard in every old folk song he'd ever sang.
Three days with no food, he just wants water.
Who can eat with the smell of hatred in the air?
He holds a crumpled picture of his daughter
And whispers soft a pleading, hopeless prayer:
"Can You stay with me if only for a moment?
Just a little while and, I swear, I'll be just fine.
Hold me close and tell me about atonement,
It just might make more sense to me this time."

All my life, I've only known these troubles.
They empty every promise of good times.
Now I'm buried here beneath this rubble;
reaching out with hands of written rhymes.
Tragedy has always been my shadow. 
It follows me to tell me when I'm wrong.
Sometimes, I get tired from this long battle.
But it seems to put the ink in all my songs.
Can You stay with me if only for a moment?
Just a little while and, I swear, I'll be just fine.
Hold me close and tell me about atonement,
It just might make more sense to me this time.
Sometimes on the interstate at night,
when there are blurs of reds, oranges,
and fading light,

I weep in the dark,
along the mountain highways,
I used to pass,
over hills and valleys,
to express love at last.

I have given up on love,
on waiting for sweet comfort,
for a gentle hand in return,
instead I grip tightly to
the remaining coals that burn,
deeper than my tear stained
cheeks,
deeper than the muddy mountain creeks,
overflowing my heart so the hurt could be lost within.
I wish for a moment of time,
once again,
when my name on your lips was
sweet,
like the memories,
not soiled,
but treasured, the way a child is held at his mothers breast,
so gently cradled,
even if stillborn.
Tonight I was listening to and playing old songs on my guitar and I felt so sad. Thinking about all that my life has been. I feel so much love has been wasted. So many pointless days spent pining for something that will never be.
Kai 1d
Sympathy from those around me
Mercy on the constant lateness
Irritation when I keep saying I’m fine
Lies spilling from my lips everyday
Easy company is only at her grave
Part three of a series called "The Little Words" that I'm writing right now.
Do you see me brother?
A feckless skyscraper marching on.
Not deaf but deafened, not blind but blinded,
I watch myself marching past the children,
a million miles away and
all in pretty rows.
We were these children once
before blue academies and flags and books and songs written by long-dead men,
the songs we used to sing, we watched the soldiers,
marching by we marvelled at the colour.
They were so handsome then.

I find you, with graveyard eyes,
brother I feel those eyes on me.
You, who watched me marching by,
you, who turned against
that old familiar stench, drift
into my sleeping focus.
I will not rest-

Tonight
the rivers of blood are sated. Tonight as I listen to the old recording:
“As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding”
Like the roman I see the Thames is foaming and all is red.
A needle skips,

the hush descends.

The tears flowing from my eyes
are invisible to me, the taste of them is all that’s left.  I shout and scream into the bed
but still I find your staring face.
Locked safely far away from me.
Locked safely in my memory.
And I choke on empty air.
moon 2d
i've always loved writing. for a while i stopped.
last year i lost someone very important to me. it felt like my heart was getting ripped out over and over again.
after he passed away, i felt like writing was all i had left.
although most of the words i typed hurt,
it was an outlet. it saved me.
i remembered why i started writing in the first place and it was because of him,
everything was for him.
i go by moon on here because
this is all for him.
these words show progress and recovery and getting back up from being down,
this is for him.
my moon.
moon 2d
i miss your smile.
i miss how'd you understand me without me even saying a word.
i miss the way your eyes would turn into half moons when you laughed.
i miss that too,
your laughter.
i can't stop replaying that day in my head.
i keep trying to forget but i feel sadness being hung over me,
it's hard to pretend it's not there lately.
to this day,
and until the end of my days,
i'll always wonder what i could've done,
if i could've loved you more than i did,
if we all could've loved you more.
it's been a year since you've felt the grass in between your toes,
or threw your hands over your mouth to muffle your laughter,
or getting to see how things would've turned out differently.
i'm trying.
i've always dedicated everything to you but i hope i'm making you proud.
breathing is harder some days more than others.
i hope you can visit me in my dreams soon,
give my arms a squeeze,
tell me that you're okay up there.
don't forget to save me a seat next to you!
i promise i'll have so much to tell you when it's my time.
i hope you found your peace.
i love you dearly and i would do anything to see you again.
my moon,
my reason for breathing,
my everything.
i miss you.
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