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Bea Rae 22m
I cannot bring myself

To say goodbye because that

Means losing you forever
Bea Rae 17h
Tell me, which is harder.
Waiting for something you know will never be in your cards,
or having to come with the terms that it will never happen.
Bea Rae 3d
Maybe closing yourself

Off from me will make it easier

When the inevitable comes
Bea Rae 4d
Somewhere maybe in

Another time your heart was

A piece of mine
Maiden in the ashes
Robed in silk
Robbed of milk
No mark on your tender skin
No sign of turmoil within
The coal does not yet scorch your soul
You walk your delicate path
Bearing the sightly, brightly beaten cut bloom of spring
Luscious petals not yet knowing
They will drop from the stem
No seeds to plant, and not her fault
the only water here tainted with salt
And the ground is hard, turned up in its roots
Do you know the path you tread does not want you?
Do you not yet feel the cut of stone or burn on coal?
Or does this black earth need your bloodstained steps as much as you need to bleed them
Is it possible for one woman's blood to nourish this dead soil back to life?
And one woman's love to seed them
I wish I could not pray for your success with this life
I wished far more for you than this trial of strife.
Zywa 5d
Don't mourn for the dead,

grieve only for the living --

Do it for yourself.
Novel "Midnight's Children" (1981, Salman Rushdie), chapter 3-1 "The buddha" (old man)

Collection "Low gear"
Bea Rae 6d
From the moment I

Met him I knew he was worth

The heart ache
Begging for mercy from a cruel false god
As the years go by, I’ve seen through the facade
But I’m still chained by desperation and fear
And the false hope that you’ll be sincere
And the pleasure you take in my pain will disappear
But it won’t
You don't want to change
You never will
So it will be my blood and tears you continue to spill
Consume me body and soul
Whenever you are hungry for a little power and control
Whenever the world is too much for you
You take it out on daddy’s favorite punching bag

Mother is on the stairs
But she might as well not be there
For she doesn’t interfere
Not even when he fists curl up
Not when there are tears
She watches with quiet scripted interjections
As she watches this towering god looming over me tear me apart
No apologies no remorse
Just me with ****** hands picking up the broken fragments of myself off the floor
I don’t want to be here anymore

And after the damage is done
She provides false comfort
Then angrily scolds me
“You know better than that”
“Why did you say that”
“Why didn’t you say that”
As if the looming tsunami would ever take mercy on me
So I cower in my room licking my wounds forever alone
For there is no one else’s hands to hold
No one's arms to surrender to
Just grief
And a false hope that one day,
I will be free

But even when far far away
Those cruel feelings and fears remain
For now they are woven into my DNA
Bea Rae 7d
Have you asked yourself

If you are running towards your fears

Or away from them
Bea Rae Apr 6
I fell in love with

The darkness of your soul because

It felt like home
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