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i want to write of you
but i cannot bring myself to finish anything i say
writing about grief through grief
is hard

and you would think that it would be easy
since i've been writing for years
i hate leaving things unfinished

i try not to think of it often
maybe that's the problem

i freeze when i do
it feels like i'm the only one that remembers you around here.
The golden hues in autumn,
sheds down in the cold.
With an enduring hope,
it's spring again.
But with the unsaid goodbyes,
grief lingers.

-Gopika Krishna
honeyed 2d
i listened to the songs you wrote about other girls.
how does it feel to have both your love and heartbreak
immortalized in a poem of rock-n-roll?
I’m in the dream again:                not the one I had while awake in
the catacombs of St. Callixtus in Rome.  Where the darkness was
so impenetrable that it began to echo.  To look like the mixture of colors
that burst when you rub your eyes too hard for too long.  Like the
neuron rupture before death.  To shape and morph and become liquid.
Where the darkness cobbled itself into a physical form.

Not the dream where                    I kept seeing
flits of my mother out of the corner of my eye.  Behind
                                                                ­                               every street corner.
                                                                ­                   Every turn.  Every tunnel.  
      Reflected in the casts of the bodies in Pompeii.
Mirrored in the waves of the Trevi Fountain.

I’m in the dream where          the soil churned from the bottom to the top.  
                               where          the hand outstretched from the grave.  
                               where          my grandfather clawed his way out and returned to my grandmother﹘sopping wet, covered in thick mud, socks torn, skin sallow and jaundiced, spitting out the wire the embalmers put in his mouth, melting makeup, and ravenously hungry.  And it’s been so
                                                                ­                   long since he was hungry.  

“He came back to me, Taylor,” my grandmother tells me. 
“He came back to me.”
                                        I don’t have the heart to tell her that he’s undead.  
                                        I’m physically unable to spit out those words.
And it’s a dream and it’s a dream and it’s a dream,                   but
it just fits so perfectly.  That he would come back to her.  
That death would not be a barrier.  I can’t explain it.                It just is.  
My grandmother is a shell without him.  
The body that’s missing the limb.  
The body that keeps score.
write your grief prompt 10: amorphous prompt
Stygian 6d
So I guess this is it huh?
After all the love bombing and fake feelings you’re finally ready to move on
You’re ready to remember what it felt like when I didn’t exist.
You’re excited to feel warmth in a new place.
Because everything turned cold here.
You made it this way though.
You turned off your feelings.
Maybe you didn’t even have any.
Maybe I built a false persona of you in my head that was genuinely interested in me.
I must be crazy to think all that time I spent investing in you, you were only pretending to like what I was saying.
Like what I was giving to you.
I didn’t ask you for anything.
I barely reached for a hand.
But yet again I’ll switch my feelings back to nothing and pretend like you never even stopped by.
Cause it’s that easy right?
I’m not that interesting to remember.
I’m not that hard to forget.
You must have found someone better.
So I’ll pretend we ever met.
Armand Jun 8
Can't go to sleep again
This is when I miss c*caine
Or anything else
In my brain
In my veins
To numb the pain
Before I go insane

But I've come this far
Hanging by a thread
Looking for a missing star
One amongst the dead

I wish I could show you
The real person inside me
The things I truly can do
And who I can be

I've always been lurking
As well as searching
Through the darkness
Of my soul's promise

"We'll be united once more"
Oh how death I would adore
To melt down to my core
Or wash up cold ashore

See the expressions of apathy
And see mal-sympathy
I've broken and I've torn
Around me ever since I've born

I miss't to feel numb
I used to be so fun
Nowadays I've been shunned
From all that I want

So this' what I've become
Someone with seams undone
So I'd understand
If you'd reprimand
All that I am
And ever will be
For I'm only sand
Blowing away at sea
I see you in my dreams, your voice sounds so real, so true, so much... Here. Then I wake to you being nowhere
Lux Falls Jun 8
No no no no no no no
This can’t be happening again
It’s not allowed to happen
I thought this path was closed, bolted up and had broken away so we couldn’t come back
I don’t want this
I don’t want to cry again
I don’t want to see you in white one more time
I don’t want any more wrinkles on our faces or blood-red, tear-stained eyes
There are no more tears to make
Please don’t let it happen please no
No no no no
I don’t want you sick I don’t want you to go
I want you to watch me grow and maybe one day I’ll be a good mum
But I can’t do any of it if you’re not here
Don’t leave me please
Don’t leave me
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