Jimmy had a dog named Barnaby.
He was just like one of the family.

He did what most good dogs do.
He kept Jimmy company, even ate his homework a time or two.

But no matter how hard Jimmy tried,
Barnaby would never, ever fetch a ball.

Oh, he typed, he vacuumed, even mowed the lawn,
Yet, wouldn't retrieve any stick at all.

Sometimes we grow short
The perfect height for special missions
Ideal for infiltration behind enemy lines
Or licking pussycat shaped lollies ****** style
We will strike at will
And achieve our aims
War mission or five-aside buddy
We live on mars

One rule for you, another for me
That is how it is going to be.
Born to rule,
Know who's who,
Born to rule, and not to obey -
Breaking my own rules is okay.
Austerity in any shape or form,
For common folks should be the perfect norm.
I do not need to mind my 'p's and 'q's;
I need a laugh while collecting my dues.
I am above, you are below;
Stop moaning, your position know.
Rules are for the likes of you, not me;
At least you live in a 'free' country.
I can get away with ******, you can't get away with theft;
The law will take from you your last scrap, when you have nothing left.
If you are poor, you'll be poorer still
When fat cats move in for the ****.
Love of money makes the world go round -
Work and no play when I wear the crown.

Can't stand the man
Despise his sight
I hate him so
With all my might.

In all my years
Can't recall a time
I had to deal
With such vile slime.

A puffed up despot
A vain buffoon
His very sight
Spells doom and gloom.

My only solace
My one salvation
Ice cream for dinner
Enough to face the nation.

The sugar rush
That silken taste
Tempers my moods
If not my waist.

What do I care
Why should I cease
When I’ve revealed
Trump is morbidly obese.

I told the world
Made it quite clear
His health in mind
And not a smear.

The truth quite harsh
Sometimes it hurts
He needs cut down
McDonalds and desserts.

But not long now
Elections close
Watching with glee
Trump thrashing in death throws.

Joe's on the cusp
If only he knew
But with creeping dementia
He hasn't a clue.

So my plan's now enacted
All scheming and guile
To get rid of both
And rule with a smile.

I've earned it for sure
Endured with such class
Folks never guessed
I was such pure bad-***.

I walk through the airport exit
All of my bags are in place
So I pick them up hastily

The flight had all the sandwiches
Champagne, I could ask for in first class
Maybe, a cosy hotel reservation now

Maybe, I flew around the world
To know I missed you and your flowers
Or to get rid of the **** weeds growing in my garden all this time