Obliterated!; all that remains is a blank slate.
Unfeeling, uncaring but somehow still living in a fearful state
The pit in my stomach falls deeper with every breath.
Each breath harder to take as each memory is wiped away.
Delete every dream and want, they're a waste.
Destroy every hope and make sure you know your "destined" fate.
Delete every touch and kiss with haste.
You don't want to but it'll be done eitherway.
It used to be subconscious, now it's taken on a life of its own, sentient.
No longer dependent; it takes everything away.
My mind is no longer my own; my control and life slowly washed away.
There is this split moment
When you realize
Everyone else has known
For the first time
A crack in reality
White noise in the dark truth
Its like your eyes are suddenly opened
And the lights are stinging bright
Everything you thought was true
You hear the walls all come crumbling down
Am I losing you?
Did I ever have you in the first place?
I remember the last note I wrote,
where he poured venom in ink
scribbled words placed blankly
at the tip of Saturday’s tongue
A mouthful of madness intertwined
between two diverging lives
as returning innocence sparked
cigarette, after cigarette
The warm taste of whiskey
fills a stomach freer than before
The smell lingers at each exhale to fuel the fire
of a breath’s subtle aching for forgiveness
Conversation now lacks substance
Words slur actions to violently attack
without awareness to rule direction
I felt who hurt you, looking back on it
Heavy eyes spoke language to
disease the mourning of our losses
with something to be permanent,
but not entirely forgotten
Your heart bleeds an intensity
of the darkest hour you could find
Separation furthers an inevitable exit
we both cannot control alone
He falls to his knees uneasy
The fall is an alarming salute,
a goodbye that cannot be understood,
a commitment I failed to believe
Across the room, I watch you
I try and tend to the plans you’ve made,
but I am weaker than you had been
The damage pierces my ribcage
It catches me off guard as it moves through
Starvation vows to carry in its place
to feed the body empty noise
I hear silence engage lost attention
An aftermath of memories led astray
to make believe the truth
I wore the flaws love wounded on skin
The scars gave weight to my appearance
to comfort a lack of confidence
Distance understood what was yesterday,
would not be tomorrow
Existing only to heal the unknown
We should of watched time,
return us to what we knew
Some people give up easily
Please don't tell me you're one of them
Because I don't believe you
I'm smiling about something you said eight months ago
I bet you already forgot my name
I guess I'm the complicated one
I can't stop trying to figure out things I already know
Thinking it would keep me from losing you
Didn't listen to myself and got everything wrong
And that's what made you be gone
Now I'm alone and it even hurts to breathe
It's like I lost my ground
I can't imagine living on, what's worth living
A whole life
Without you around
I'm not expecting anything
I'd devote my life in vain
Eight months gone, a love's chance missed
There's only one hope left for me
Can we begin again?