A 6d

Obliterated!; all that remains is a blank slate.
Unfeeling, uncaring but somehow still living in a fearful state
The pit in my stomach falls deeper with every breath.
Each breath harder to take as each memory is wiped away.
Delete every dream and want, they're a waste.
Destroy every hope and make sure you know your "destined" fate.
Delete every touch and kiss with haste.
You don't want to but it'll be done eitherway.
It used to be subconscious, now it's taken on a life of its own, sentient.
No longer dependent; it takes everything away.
My mind is no longer my own; my control and life slowly washed away.

Alan Crilley Jun 16

It's only a matter of time
when I'll force myself to rhyme.

losing myself
losing myself

It's like I force myself to write
before I lose sight,
no helping me now
unless I can find out how.

ha ha
Anivel Aidan Jun 15

There is this split moment
When you realize
Something that
Everyone else has known
For the first time

A crack in reality
White noise in the dark truth

Its like your eyes are suddenly opened
And the lights are stinging bright
Everything you thought was true
Was
Not

You hear the walls all come crumbling down

Am I losing you?
Did I ever have you in the first place?

When it comes to you, L, why am I always the one reaching out? Why do you never tell me anything?
•••
You said you wanted me the way I am.
Shauna Bendel Sep 2016

I remember the last note I wrote,
where he poured venom in ink
scribbled words placed blankly
at the tip of Saturday’s tongue
A mouthful of madness intertwined
between two diverging lives
as returning innocence sparked
cigarette, after cigarette

The warm taste of whiskey
fills a stomach freer than before
The smell lingers at each exhale to fuel the fire  
of a breath’s subtle aching for forgiveness
Conversation now lacks substance
Words slur actions to violently attack
without awareness to rule direction
I felt who hurt you, looking back on it

Heavy eyes spoke language to
disease the mourning of our losses
with something to be permanent,
but not entirely forgotten

Your heart bleeds an intensity
of the darkest hour you could find
Separation furthers an inevitable exit
we both cannot control alone

He falls to his knees uneasy
The fall is an alarming salute,
a goodbye that cannot be understood,
a commitment I failed to believe

Across the room, I watch you
I try and tend to the plans you’ve made,
but I am weaker than you had been

The damage pierces my ribcage
It catches me off guard as it moves through
Starvation vows to carry in its place
to feed the body empty noise
I hear silence engage lost attention
An aftermath of memories led astray
to make believe the truth

I wore the flaws love wounded on skin
The scars gave weight to my appearance
to comfort a lack of confidence

Distance understood what was yesterday,
would not be tomorrow

Existing only to heal the unknown
We should of watched time,
return us to what we knew

JAC Jun 13

It's amazing what you find when you're looking
It's astounding what you see when you're not
And what you see when you're looking at me
Is nothing you've never seen before.

Purple-heart Jun 10

Why am I scared?
Scared of losing him
When he's not even mine.

Miss Me Jun 9

I ache to roll the dice of pain
Over and over

A sad die, lost die, lonely die
Help me with a new lover

Lost somewhere gambling

Some people give up easily
Please don't tell me you're one of them
Because I don't believe you
I'm smiling about something you said eight months ago
I bet you already forgot my name

I guess I'm the complicated one
I can't stop trying to figure out things I already know
Thinking it would keep me from losing you
Didn't listen to myself and got everything wrong
And that's what made you be gone

Now I'm alone and it even hurts to breathe
It's like I lost my ground
I can't imagine living on, what's worth living
A whole life
Without you around

I'm not expecting anything
I'd devote my life in vain
Eight months gone, a love's chance missed
There's only one hope left for me
Can we begin again?

Begin again, a song and a hope

Losing the fear of losing is biggest gain in life

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