Open if i never wake from the deepest dreams of more,
Open if I give up, succomb to a roaring seashore,
Open if my eyes give way to darkness, where is the light.
Open if my arms fling down, i have given up the fight.
Open if time passes without a murmur, a wanting or a tune,
Open if I run, I hide, seek solace in the flashing moon.
Open if you no longer feel a yearning for a place in the world.
Open if there are no sounds or encouragement to be heard.
Open if it's hard to swallow, the pain, striking right at the chord.
Open if when the rain stops beating, you still can't find the words.
Open if your mind stops wondering, where and when and how?
Open if the door stays locked through bangs and knocks and rows.
Open if I begin to forget all of my manners, my ways.
Open if we're no longer placing photos in frames, of the better days.
Open if all friends have walked by and you find yourself alone.
Open if worry takes centre stage, know that I'll eventually come home.
Days, weeks, months later,
It still hurts,
Years will pass,
The pain will turn,
From a sharp knife cutting edge,
To a dull thudding ache,
But it will always be there,
And I'll hear her name,
From time to time,
Because it's a common one,
And no one will know the pain,
Eating away inside,
Or that you used to see her,
You're nightmares painting her death,
across the ceiling,
as you lay wide eyed and awake,
The old scar hurting,
You want to forget,
As cruel as that sounds,
You want to forget her,
That you loved her,
That you lost her,
That there was no goodbye,
Just the news,
That she hadn't loved this life any more,
That the pain in her heart was too much,
It ached and strained horribly,
That there was no escape from it,
And while she was alive,
It hurt her,
Its difficult to look at her and create invisible barriers that encrust in my mouth and keep me from speaking, or looking at her and at the same time keep me away when i see her with some other.
In the end we didnt even know if we loved or hated each other we just asked questions that no one answered.
It's hard to be strong and more so to try to be strong.
One day we said that everything was fine and that we were going steady.
the next she suffered from blindness, acting as if i were never there
that killed me and i had to pretend that I could resist not seeing her.
In the end If I killed her,
It really wouldnt matter if I'm thrown in jail.
it's a jail in itself to not have her.
But love is a game
to win you have to risk it
but in my case I'll just skip my turn.
but it wasn't just losing you
it was losing out on all the memories to-be
like your mother's fortieth birthday
your baby cousin's first day at school
your uncle's wedding (i'd already picked out my clothes)
it meant missing you at my graduation
and you never seeing my little sister grow
never tasted the fresh morning brew my dad makes
or listening to my mom recite
losing you wasn't just losing you
it was losing everything around you
and in a way,
it meant losing myself too.
I do not recall this bed
These arms I rest my soul in
Who is this heart lying next to me
What am I to them
What is my name?
The soft sheets tangle around my body
but I'm not comfortable
My mind doesn't know this place of comfort
This place of unknown memories
sewn together with the soul next to me
I'm not aware
This place is home
And she is my love
But I'm losing my mind
I want the procedure done right away
Erase her from my thoughts, eradicate each memory
I used to believe that you would save me, but as I'm drifting off to sleep
I know that you'll be gone by morning
We laid out on the ice and I'm just exactly where I want to be, I've never felt that
Your impulse to throw me out has caused both our minds to drown in a sea of dying memories
We trace our footsteps back and put our time here to rest but I can't remember anything without you, so when I wake, there will be nothing left
How could I have suppressed the memory of the day we first met?
Please let me keep this one
I want to call it off, can somebody wake me up? I don't want this anymore
I'm holding on to your love but they won't stop 'til it's dead
You and I both know soon it will be over, so we cherish all that we have left
Clementine, I tried to rip you from my mind
Each pray'r accepted, each wish resigned
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot, the world forgetting by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, each pray'r accepted, each wish resigned
I'll find you when I wake and we'll try again
I'll meet you in Montauk my dear old friend
Losing a best friend is like losing air. You need it to keep living and you expect it to always be there. But once it's gone, you realise how much you appreciated the fact of it being there.
Everything will fade away and you can't move. You will see the world disapear while you're living in it.
Yes, losing a best friend is like losing air.