I had a dream
That I was star gazing
And all the stars fluttered away
Like lightning bugs
From a disturbed field
And my true path was revealed
Then I woke up
And forgot everything

©2024

Permanent are
The memories trapped in a scar
And though a few might fade,
It'd be quicker to count every star
At times I don't notice them
Other times they're another prison bar
Attempts to hide them are made
But mummification seems a step too far
In my day to day they are
All I can see,
Haunting my reality
They've stolen the getaway car
And I'll not make it far
In this mangled avatar

©2024

If you gotta pick one over the other
Go with the other
Because if it was the one
There wouldn't be another

©2024

Crimes gone on and on and against all humanity with a refusal to ever scrutinize
Twist the rule of law to accommodate the blatant lies they prioritize on both sides
That's the American dream, can only be seen behind closed eyes
Allowed to look but can't touch the prize, that's the hook, the bait and switch slight of hand is no surprise
A separate set of law books slipped in on the sly, guess the compromise
One for the citizen and one for the almighty enterprise, just dollar signs in their eyes
All for one and one for all, false bravado, see what happens when a nobody tries
See how quick a global problem is prioritized to keep in check a global unrest notably on the rise
Also on the rise, fear of a population turned unbiased congregation then weaponized
Who exactly are the good guys? If it's a non zero number I'd be surprised
Who would have guessed that building an enterprise on the lives of the little guys would be a possible demise?

🎼If you go into my neck of the woods prepare for a big surprise
A lone baby cries it's own lullabies through innocent eyes as innocence dies
The evil in people is all that thrives, it's never been the best of times🎼

©2023

How much pain in liquid form
Is acceptable to release at night?
What if it starts and then can not be stopped
From bleeding into the daylight?
Arguments are conflicting on whether I should try
It's been a bit pointless, try as I might
I've mastered keeping it silent
And my eyelids put up a good fight
But once that seals been breached
It's often an embarrassing sight
"It's okay, go ahead, let it all out"
"You have every right"
Even with hopeless hope
And diminished trust
I take the bait and bite
Then,
Same as it's always been,
It's used against me
Absent minded with plenty of foresight
"Maybe you need a good cry"
The relief from the release is slight
I know I've the inability to get it all out
Here's to hoping one day that I might
...CHEERS...

©2024

Life's biggest illusion is the freedom we're shown
Cause there's only so far you are able to roam
It never occurred to me that it was strange to be in this place alone
At first,
While trying to escape I wore my finger tips to the bone
But now,
I've got it so bad that I call this catacomb home
No land line phone,
No WiFi hotspot zone
Cut off from the outside inside this prison of skull and bone

©2024

Silence
I wish for more of it
Violence
They'll always be more in store I bet
Distance
Can't get enough of it
Reliance
Runs parallel with my regret

©2024

"I'll be back" threat or promise?
It's always back regardless
"Stay in your own lane"
Player one syndrome inflates the brain
"Have a nice day" not a curse
At the same time "enjoy your next 24" sounds so much worse
"Here's what you're in store for"
Is what you're gonna pay for
"No pain, no gain"
Different levels of insane
"Yo, I got sooo high"
Careful not to get stuck in the sky
"Pick yourself back up"
More often dumb luck
"First things first..."
Then substance and thirst
"Righting a wrong"
Whether right or wrong
"Gotta play to win"
Sometimes a win's a sin
Who has your back, a friend?
Then who stabs it at the end
"What you see is what you get"
Most won't get it
"Face your fear"
Pretend you don't hear
"Live carefree"
Die instantly
"And that's that"
Always the same black cat
"One step forward,
Two steps back" and cornered
"Chase your dreams forever"
A nightmare's a dreams that doesn't fight fair, so no, never

©2024

One foot in the ground
One foot six feet deeper
With darkness all around
Fear's such a light sleeper
My fall never made a sound
Put the tree on loudspeaker
A picture doesn't last longer
If it never is a keeper

©2024

I have nowhere
I have no one
I follow the trajectory
Like Icarus into the sun

©2025

Thoughts berate with little truth
While memories choose when to lie
Often words spoken change nothin'
Though time and time again they try
Feel free to take your unspoken to the grave
What is spun by the victor is sung forever
A good liar proclamation should have been taken as a warning
But judgment sees through even the best of pretender

©2024

I've heard people are strange
When you're a stranger
A lesson learned
Only as you grow older

Faces look ugly
When you're alone
My past proves
No one pays no mind to what's shown

They say women seem wicked
When you're unwanted
My truth is I've wasted
All the time allotted

Streets are uneven
When you are down
Seemingly impossible
To find solid ground

The strange
Have faces they hide in the rain
It's strange
Couldn't be bothered to remember my name

Are you strange?
Am I strange?
What is straaaaaange?

©2024

I don't know who I think I am, but I ain't
Ain't shiit, ain't a saint, track record ain't great
I battle free will and fate over ornate quips with no stake in reality but won't vacate
I'll always acknowledge everyone that has filed a legitimate complaint
I eat nonstop, still too much on my plate
With this much weight, it's gonna break
Losses stacking at an alarming rate
Losing track of where I'm at in this debate
The one on good and evil and people that doesn't seem to translate
Breathed life into a mistake
I'm what I thought he couldn't make
But here I am
With almost nothing left at stake
Never heard the last boarding call whistle for moving on, left stranded at the departure gate
It never has before, I don't know why I thought it would wait
And being in the state of mind I'm in, my best guess for what the **** is happenin' is not elaborate
I was simply destin to be too late
Or maybe it was destiny that was early but I shouldn't fixate
'Cause either way, the screen says game over and on the board...
...checkmate

©2024

Hold on
Wait
I already have to much on my plate
Can't go on
Not at this rate
I'll inevitably be crushed by the weight
I'm on
Rebuild eight
At least my life doesn't ever deviate
Will stumble upon
Checkmate
Continuation impossible in this state

©2024

You're heartless and cold
Leaving my heart a mess
You pieced out your soul
Mine fell prey to your emptiness
Was it your plan to let go?
I wonder as I struggle with the process
I believed in what I was sold
You bragged like this was a side quest
I didn't notice I was enrolled
In your narcissistic contest
You were waiting for me to fold
Ready for another conquest
You reveled in my fall
You mocked my best
I gave you my all
You left me the rest

©2024

Am I guilty?
Probably
We all are aren't we?
Literally everybody?
A rarely talked about reality
But a reality none the less surely
Find it in every living things history
Trying to hide it is silly
It's no mystery
It's humanity
A flawed design set free
It comes with the territory
But the what for,
Now that's a bit beyond me,
Maybe
If I'm forced to go by what I see,
It's exactly
What y'all do too actually
But how can that be?
If you would please,
Explain it to me
And do it slowly

©2024

I was able to fool myself there for a little bit
The fraudulent thought was constant
  However, my penmanship captured a consistent internal beratement
But every new piece is the same 'ol shiit
It just pours out different
Duplicate content no matter the faucet
But it's only ever water coming outta the spigot
Forming from the origin of a recurring script
With only a singular way to interpret
You're only going to get one thing from an unchanging mindset
Just gets reworded before print
"Maybe they won't notice it"
"If I rearrange it it'll at least look different"
But the retreating interest is evident
Leading to the realization that was destined to hit
"They've found my secret"
"This pony only has one trick"
Should have paid closer attention to it
I lie and say it's wit,
Which I know is bull shiit
Because I couldn't and wouldn't argue if you called it redundant
The absolute of my failure is pungent
On my best day I'm still repugnant
Any new muse goes out of its way to be absent
Mostly due to the subject,
That's me,
Becoming complacent
Setting anchor in what was my escapement
Befriending my replacement
I wouldn't suggest it
But I ate it
So now I gotta ingest it

©2024

Have you ever had one of those moments?
You know, like;
when before you can begin to get a sentence in, you see the other person's eyes roll.
when words of wisdom sound arrogant and cynical.
when you know you're being far too critical.
when your obnoxiously focused on the most simple wrinkle.
when your little issues seem to flip to psychosis and drive you mental.
when your own thoughts threaten to send you to a hospital.
when tomorrow feels like just another obstacle.
Those moments when breathing feels impossible
When contemplating turns suicidal
And dreaming becomes unbearable
That special moment when it sets in that this doesn't feel like living,
This feels more like survival
No?
You've never had that feeling of being out of control,
Lost in a downward spiral?
Where you swear,
This mountain used to be a molehill...

®2024

Hear ye! Hear ye!
Know me and hear me
Oh but please don't look over here at me
What a thing to say, but see
I don't want to be seen, my plea
It feels kinda cheesy
I thought it'd be easy
But it just got so messy so quickly
And the harder I try the more it eludes me
You can't live a life heard but not seen and not be seen as a cautionary
A tale of a someone broken mentally trying to use hurt and pain creatively
Never taken seriously,
Kinda gimmicky
Ultimately a one trick pony
I know it but it hurts still when it's throw back at me
I can't handle the cheeky hostility
So openly hidden in the commentary
It can't be avoided but it's also not necessary
Maybe this isn't for me
Or what's more likely,
Is it's probably not that bad actually
Ah, gee,
Yeah, nevermind, sorry everybody...
I just noticed it's only my insecurity ripping at me
My apology

©2024

You only judge;
Or misjudge, the minimal effort you saw while my mind was gagged and bound
The many breakdowns you were a part of where no fix could be found
And the deluged of tears you hardly stuck around long enough to see hit the ground

You never asked;
About the profound effort of simply starting a day on the day priors rebound
About the countless cries that tried to break through the red tape but never found sound
Or about the tears I was told weren't allowed to form with other people around

Leaving me to question;
Can a life be built on the middle ground?
I guess the more important question is,
Do you desire to turn this thing around?
Is there any interest,
What-so-ever,
In seeing if a middle can even be found?
I'd appreciate your response but don't expect to see one come around

Fool heartedly yours,

The Crying Clown

©2024

No more heart to break
No more heart to ache
No more heart at stake
Not sure how much more this heart can take
Bake a fake heart cake and wait
Just to wake late and see it deflate under the weight
Why'd I bother with a serving plate?
Escape the heartbreak and all the heartache
Far to much at stake
What's the houses take
Regret the wait while cursing fate
Can fate make a mistake?

©2023

I close my eyes to try to hide
Cloaked by the darkness I've kept inside
It's the only comfort I've been able to find
The only problem is...it's the worst kind

©2024

Let me recite a line borrowed from an old poem of mine about pain and sorrow,
"Release is a crucial element for any chance to get a better future from tomorrow"
While life has taken many shots at me, I seem to be supplying the ammo
By this point it's fully equipped, got 'em armed to the teeth like Rambo
Why would I be held responsible if, let's say, one day, the relief value was a no show
Let me guess, you don't know
That's not an aura of envy, my anger feeds the green glow
And nobody likes me when I'm angry so
I must open the valve and let things go whenever possible
I apologize ahead of time if you get hit with the flow

©2024

I leave her alone
To give her the time
To feed her desires
'Till her own passion expires
And she falls asleep...
...in her preferred alone
So I can then come in
And kick the same tires
Left to fight the nightmares
Of my expressed fears
Of again being unwanted
And then try to sleep...
...in the worst type of alone

©2024

I'm pleading with the operator all in vain
There's no one there
Could be operator error
It's only ringing, no one answer for my pain
Lies tend to be faster
Not everyone's a good actor
See what I see, a monster with my same name
A new breed creature
Science doesn't get it either
Sanity fleeing and impostor steps into reign
A hostile takeover
Over 'n over but over in short order

©2024

I run from myself
Every chance that I get
42 and still I don't know who
I truly am yet

Feeling lonely though
Not technically alone
Afraid of now, afraid of then,
Afraid of what I know and all the unknown

Who am I to be someone
Who belongs standing right here?
A complicated life
Makes the entirety of life so unclear

What's done is done,
Besides, I'd only mess up a reset
What I have done and what I haven't
Both turn to regret

©2025

...I hear ya, I do
I just don't find what's been said to be true
But if I take a look through your view
And in lue of the downward spiral conducted by the waves of blue that I've now seen you go through
I want to go ahead and attempt something new
What do you say we put aside debate and simply conversate for a few
A little bit of back and forth like birds of a feather seem to do
Why don't you choose a neutral venue
And I'll collect the short guest list of me, myself and I plus you

©2024

An eye for an eye is universally considered to be justified
But you'll find that everybody's blind and nothing's changed, not a single mind
Hear the gear suddenly grind to a halt but refuse to acknowledge the bind
Sittin' dead center of the dumpster fire proclaimin' it'll be fine
In general we prefer to pretend to be blind
You can't get off this ride, I still tried, found myself tied to life for life with no guide
Cried for just a pinch, wasn't given an inch, never made a sound, in that silence is where hope died
Beaten down by everything around, can't hide the tanned hide or tattered and torn pride
Misty eyed and sleep deprived, insecurities weaponized by myself for myself, individualized personality traits willfully lobotomized to fit in with them other guys
Expertly hypnotized to pull the wool over your own two black eyes
Don't question why a lie and the truth are on the same side, like both sides never tried
Confusion spreads world wide, a close encounter of the mindless kind
Unchecked pride in a prise for the loser will compromise any humanity that tries
Let's go to the chart shall we guys? BOOM! The proof is in the lines, inhumane insanity on the rise
Allowing a personalized demise to arise, spoken to yourself or another, a lies a lie no matter the size
In a black and white society there's no blue skies
The grass is fuucked beyond repair, no green anywhere, I've checked front and back and both sides
Who decides where the status quo marker resides
Keep 'em mystified by vague who, what, where, when and why's
Demonize even the idea of a question so questionable answers to puzzling actions are never scrutinized
God won't mind if I send one his way as long as it's not mine, so everyone's waiting for a purge scenario type grand prize
All of a sudden life can be nullified, rationalized as good over evil by twisted minds
A shady shadow enterprise, faceless behind an eyes wide shut disguise
This is what ignorance buys
A centralized love of hate, morality slides, sheep clothing stock on the rise
Right outside one of the good guys with a gun hides while inside our future cries
No hope, no surprise, no answer to prayer screamed at the skies
Only able to watch the eyes of innocence as it dies, proving evil not only survives but thrives

©2023

If there is no one to blame,
To frame,
To claim
Did this to me
Then the arcane,
Link chain,
Rusty from the rain
But still holding me
Should be easy to explain
But it can't be

©2024

••••••
Inspired by
Krista Delle Femine
~Still the Fool~
••••••
I always find myself here
With little to no explanation
I'm thinking it's because I elicit fear
They avoid my intensity
Every bombastic and overcharged emotion that overflowes from me
I believe they mean to
But they seem to pull themselves through
It's always something I did
Or didn't do
It's so much rejection
I've lost track of the lesson
It's only humility
And wanting from someone
Something they don't have for me
They often pretend
Put up a good front and deny the lie
I have to keep all of me inside
And leave it for everyone else to interpret what one of my issues it could be
Then it falls on me
Only on me
We don't have to wait and see
What I can't be
Even alone I can't be free
Not really
I'm still the fool writing about this
Letting them live rent free in my poetry

©2024

How is this a bold statement?
"I don't give a shiit
And I'll continue to refrain from giving a shiit
'Till your shiit
Impedes on my shiit"
What part of that shiit
Do you not get?

©2024

Recklessly I cruise a plateaued plane
One I call memory lane
Which in hindsight was kind of insane
I'm not sure what I was looking to gain
There's not much other than pain in the ones I retain
I know this, it's beyond first hand eyewitness obvious,
Even prior to being forced to meticulously explain
Becoming increasingly familiar with that ruthless domain
Thankfully some truly cherished living snapshots remain
However, most have broken free from their neglected, rusty chain
And I'm left cursing the bane of my existence,
While, in plain sight, the flashbacks that cause my eyes to drain
Swerve in and out of my lane
Joy ridin' my misery or being metaphysically driven to the torture of the mind and soul,
Instigated by a fraction of a fractured brain
That to this day isn't clear on what's it's actually sayin'
Can not seem to refrain from immersing myself in self inflicted pain
Forgotten or slain?
What's it matter if the outcome will be the same;
Me, laying motionless in front of a raging train,
Leaving only a crime scene stain
One that'll go as unnoticed as it did when it flowed through a main artery vein
'Till any and all evidence of my unspectacular,
Super localized reign
Washes away in the rain
And I become nothing more than a name

©2024

My heart gets crushed
And cracks once more
It leaks through from the ducts of the eyes
As it makes it's way down
The carved out paths on my face
I can't forget to remember the painful why's

©2024

...and I
I don't even bother to ask
I'm not interested in hearing another lie
So I
I just touch up my mask
A little tape and glue should be enough to get by
But I
I finally realize it's an impossible task
Physical and mental abuse still not as brutal as goodbye
Will I...
...
...
...
Will I?

©2024

Thoughts deflate then wither in silence,
Contained in this skull shaped dome
Breath taxis the sound like an organic drone
But delivers to no one,
A voiceless zone
They said they'd be here,
But no one's shown
It isn't new,
Still don't know what to do to atone
I wouldn't say I'm not lonely,
Just not alone
Many fractured personalities have left the nest,
Off to make a life of their own
I try to keep the piece on my own
Not a radical idea
Though
Not something I'd condone
It increases the gravity of a situation,
One I could have never known
But what's another boulder to a shoulder of stone?
The devil on the other shoulder is now older and grown
Adopting a fatherly tone
I got a bone to pick with him,
But that'll have to wait till we find home

©2024

I always forget to remember lessons from the last failure, therefore I'm forever havin' to start all over, my own personal torcher chamber
It creates this culture of fear that I can't get over, the chip on my shoulder staked on the bolder that's already there
A taunting whisper on loop saying it'll never get better, cursed with bad days, one after another
Try to fudge the numbers, facts don't lie but memories blur, every passing day recollection gets harder
I had this thought in the shower, your heart beat is just a countdown to your last breath and death is just a new beginning to forever
Should I still follow my dreams if it's a recurring nightmare? Only the loser says the other didn't fight fare
Only the winner gets their name in the paper unless it's a smear campaign so staying out of the conversation is safer
Where's the line between assassination and ******? And what's the difference between an unwanted guest and intruder?
Does a lamb know about the slaughter? Does the hand know it can take a life without being given an order?
Which is shorter I wonder, the path to greatness or to a personality disorder, my dark passengers a backseat driver
So it's all in how you frame the picture, have a nice day sounds less threatening than enjoy your next 24
Who decides what will occur? How much more can I endure? Roll the dice and hope they don't shatter
Matter of fact I pray for just enough to make it to the next day not knowing there's no listener
God ain't there and if he is he doesn't care or doesn't know the answer either
Either that or he to has given up on this fallen soldier all together, abandoned by my supposed creator
I don't make an hourly wage, I sell chunks of my life for pennies on the dollar
Some one, somewhere is listening to the last song they'll ever hear
Could be me, right now, right here, no way to tell till after then it's to late to alter
Masking anxiety with witty banter, no alter ego just another dark passenger, this time he's riding shotgun like one in the chamber
One personality is hard enough to keep front and center, take one down but there's always another, I am just fodder
The split is wether to move forward or quit all together, don't know which is better
Tried divide and conquer, another failure, tried to find a new harbour but couldn't pull the anchor

Got control of my anger just to immediately lose the battle, instantly falling outta the saddle
I thought I wasn't supposed to get more than I could handle, I guess that's just another cryptic riddle
Starting to feel old testament biblical, the punishment for mistakes are astronomical no matter how miniscule
Almost feels personal, maybe I'm part of some sadistic ritual, forced to be a part of it, no consent, held against my will
Little did I know I could walk away and be okay still, no one told me the rules making every move futile
Trying a different approach, going vocal, begging for mercy in vain but hopeful
An ineffectual campaign, the struggle was always inevitable, my thoughts not believable
Not even a credible witness to my own life, how is this even possible?
Well, cranial damage is plausible due to hitting every obstacle head on, brain almost falling out of my skull
Life is the train light at the end of the tunnel while I'm mid tunnel on a stationary bicycle
Rock bottom was the pinnacle of my life, cynical doesn't even begin to describe what drives my mental
Keep it all in to avoid the hospital, trapped lightning in a bottle but couldn't get a grip on its broke handle
Already sold my soul, not to the devil but to the people and the return on my investment was far from equal
The colossal difference was they got the best of me and I was left an empty shell
Tried to fill it but it now looks like a landfill, a trash receptacle, the overflow of garbage unavoidable
Completely full of hurt and pain, I pray there's no sequel but I just saw the preview commercial so I guess it's ******* official
But even before dress rehearsal I took myself out of the circle knowing it wouldn't be merciful, devouring me whole
Besides, the demon inside stole the show and convinced me I was evil and deserve to not go any further than my current window
I accepted it cause it's all I know, brittle and fragile, will I made it to another day? Doubtful, the outcome predictable
If written out the how come would be longer than the bible so just take my word for it so you're not liable
Life itself is my rival, and now spiteful has replaced delightful and forced the downward spiral
The life or death questions I scream at the sky come nightfall are being treated as rhetorical
And there's no capable Oracle these days so I'm on my own to wrestle this powerful, never ending dose of trouble
Stepped out of my comfortable bubble once before and it was brutal
Promised myself never again but it's not that simple, every attempt pitiful

Wish me luck

©2022

(Chorus)

...and she said,
"We don't have to stand it here, we can go anywhere
Find a place to call a home and build our storybook future there
If not here then where? Can't we find that anywhere?
A destination with no journey seems to me to be unfair
Some god, somewhere, already answered my prayer
Cause I'm here and you're there..."

©2023

I couldn't tell you why
Sometimes I don't try
But I'll look you dead in the eye
And swear I can not tell a lie
Which of course, in itself, is always a lie

©2024

Everyone that has ever said that they love me
All those who've mentioned that I'm their one and only
That their desire is to be with me, hand in hand for our eternity
All those who've told me that they care about me deeply
But have otherwise only ever proven to be phony
Compassion is something never aloud to me
History is rewritten by present and past company
Because when it comes down to the nitty gritty
I'm just a stepping stone obviously
I mean hell, just look at my track record then back at me
Don't even need a degree in forensic diplomacy
Actions speak loudly
Leaving me stuck in an unwanted and completely unnecessary purgatory
But no one cares about a no guts, no glory type story
No one cares how their actions have affected my energy
Turning me, molding me into the evil reflection that won't stop staring back at me
All sides have proven extensively that I am unworthy of being wanted, forget loving unconditionally
All I've ever wanted was to be somebody's somebody
But everybody says the same thing to me openly
No friendly faces and behind their smiles is a judgement and verdict of guilty
So I struggle with the fact that somehow they all agree
If the problem isn't me it at least resides in me
I've got a penny, two maybe,
We'll find the appropriate line to walk eventually
I just hope there'll be someone left standing next to me
Because an eternity is a long time to spend lonely

©2024

Inside this inconspicuous figure
Is a heart and mind that conspire together
To trigger my rage heavy splendor
That works out for me never
Too clueless to share how but somehow aware
Somewhere in there is fear
Even if just a sliver
So buyer beware
Locate the snare,
It's always there
A danger that's present but not clear
I sense it when giving and losing control,
Compassion and anger
I'm uncomfortable but familiar
With those two in particular

©2024

Oh no, they see me
They'll soon know me
They'll know I'm only
A one trick pony
A phony
Full of bologna
No one below me
So
No one to hold me
To the business end of accountability
Ignoring any responsibility
So I fly free
With no pilot license on me
Obviously
And predictably
I did what y'all we're waiting to see
Sorry y'all had to wait endlessly
I hope y'all where more entertained than me
Sorry that me is all I could be

©2024

I close my eyes
To visualize
A romanticized
Big picture prize
Then realize
To my surprise
It's all been lies
And I have to comfort my soul as it cries

©2024

I removed my heart to keep it safe from those who label me heartless
I'm no good at noticing the double edged, backstabbing nonsense
I shattered my own heart, tore it apart, and put each piece in their separate compartments
An interesting story plot borrowed from Tom Riddles Lord Voldemort, I have my own horcruxes
Oh but I don't want to live forever
Just need a little relief lever
And make it harder to get at my more fragile components

©2024

Eye to eye with a two faced mirror
Stern threats stated towards this duplicate I see
"I'm warning you, don't ******* in there,
You know you don't like it when we're angry"
Though, my mind and I both know I know better
Fully aware I don't have a victory on it's territory
A half baked example of what makes a quitter
There's a lose on every flipped page of my story

©2024

I have become the sum of all my fears and failures
The accumulation through the years,
To some degree,
Is on another level then most others
Uninstalled the self installed blinders
Hoping to stumble across some left behind life perks
I didn't know this is how finders keepers works
Nothing found has kept me off the ground,
Barley kept me out the ground,
And every moment hurts
For what it's worth,
I don't know what I'm worth
Starting to wonder,
Just internally first,
But maybe this whole thing is cursed
Or worse
There was never a purpose of falling prey to thirst

©2024

Can't break
This figure eight
So as of late
I've been leaving it up to fate
To reveal a gate
Before my plate
Folds under the weight
Transforming me into living bait
For thoughts of hate
Directed straight
At a lone inmate
Inside this prison-esque estate
Skull bone real estate
I was forced to create
Became a red flag trait
And looking back it's probably innate

©2024

It takes to much to live
Collected from the start
'Till the wick can no longer be lit

All I have left to give
Is this mangled mess of a heart
And a broken spirit

Passive or aggressive
Lifes and bodies fall apart
Death is all we inherit

And death is possessive
No retort
Take the hit and grin and bear it

©2024

Could I have done more, yes
But I'm worn out at best
Sore by the pound and stressed
The more I try to get it back like before
The more I regress
I know the score,
I know what's in store,
What it is I'm in for
But sure,
Let's hear what YOU suggest?

©2024

I fear him
The him I carry inside
It doesn't control the heart
But it controls the mind
I'm afraid to go in there
Because I'm afraid of what I'll find
Me looking blankly back at me
The me I know has basically died

©2025

Here I stand, in one hand I've more knowledge than ever
A better comprehension in the other
But no third hand, arm, and shoulder
All needed if you hope to discover and then be a supporter
Of that impossibly elusive answer
Now fewer than ever and always less than the day before
Watching compassion wash away with the tears from the eyes of a lover
As I try in desperation to prove a mear possibly, maybe we're better together
Before the search begins and what's wanted is what's found in another
And I'm left to wonder the vastness of forever without my chosen partner
Alone, not wanting to, once again, risk going public with my server
That fear leads me here, to a future where I put all hope in never
And yes, you don't have to tell me, I'm well aware...
...I know that makes this a hopeless endeavor

©2024