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8/27/19

Somehow I had it figured out that
If I made it as miserable for you
As it was for me
That then I would have happiness

I stepped into the scene
Chaos in the air as
I prepared to do the deed
Metaphorically raising the axe

But then I looked into your eyes
And saw a piece of myself
How could I let that happen
To another scared soul like me?

Jealousy runs love away from me
It’s hard to want the best for others
But if I knew what I wanted
Isn’t it also what they need?

Do unto others as you
Would have them do unto you
Why does that sound so easy?
Because all I want is a friend

Truth is, I’ve learned so much
But I learned the hardest way possible
I’d rather keep it all to myself
And watch you struggle like I did

Though it makes me feel better
It can only last so long
And it always ends with everyone
Hating me as if I had swung that axe.
8/16/19

God, you put me through a refining fire,
Where I stood, you desired to enquire.
After burning away the junk and ****,
One ***** drop was all I could brag.

Oh God, it’s easier to trust you when
You pour out blessings again and again!
But what about the times I wish to forget?
How can I trust you when I’d rather reset?

When everything is out of my hands,
When I’m caving under the demands,
That’s when I need you most, Lord.
I guess I call out only when I’m floored…

Yet even when I don’t trust like I should,
Oh God, You are still forever good!
I’ve felt your Spirit now more than ever,
Prying my thoughts apart like a lever.
Here I lay
Naked and clean
The vultures have come for me
They are pecking at my feet
Tearing pale flesh from my toes
And exposing my bones
The vultures have come for me
And they won't leave me alone
LWZ Jun 20
New routines
Broken dreams
Fair weather friends
At my doorstep
Reveal yourself
Feel the intensity
I can’t go on without it
I don’t want it if you’re not exposed
I must feel in control
I've always liked the moon better than the sun.
I've always painted in black, not in colour.
I've always been a little hidden, never fully exposed.
I've always written, never said.
I've always been afraid of the monster under the bed.
A poem every day.
Liquid lies

Silvery white Mercury

Insulated potent

Exposed, slow poison
crickets chirping
break the most silent
of nights
rivers
splurging
into shores
on banks
filled with trees
you and I
walk the line
of the road
past midnight
stars shine bright in the sky
candle lit
breeze
touching
I found the skinned limbs
seemingly exposing
the presence of everything we were meant to be
together
in a world
of endless prosperity
blow out the smoke
apple picking
from the dark countertop
mistakes and deep slopes
it was cold outside
and I felt alive
stolen moments
broke me free
you are the other half of me
5/7/2019

God, stop me at once!
I've been telling you what to do,
And there's no telling what that will do.
I lack so much in experience.

I'm so demanding,
And yet so indigent,
I order things like I'm a sergeant.
But I'm the opposite of outstanding.

I want you to work for this "god of self,"
But you're more than I could ever think.
I live and die in one blink,
I can't escape - overtaken by time's engulf.

So why do I try to be,
The boss of all of you?
I master nothing of value,
I'm just riding along in this derby.

Oh God, humble my prayers.
I've always known what I wanted,
Boldly I asked of you - undaunted.
But here is one of the answers.

I ask, and ask, and ask!
But I never listen.
Now the light bulb is on like Edison.
My pride exposed - is grotesque.

You speak in a quiet voice,
Not because you're weak,
But because we must seek.
I've gotta come to you by choice.
Rickey Spence Apr 26
4/20/2019

Dear Lord, hear me out!
I feel the need to step back-
No, should I go the opposite route?

I don’t know how we got here,
Promise us retreat won’t be a setback.
Your voice is becoming hard to hear.

“Turn around, do the math…
Run… Forget your false perceptions…
You are lost on this path…”

I thought it was safe,
And maybe it is for me.
But what about the others? Forget myself.

I don’t want to escape unscathed,
At the expense of all the
Ones who followed and believed.

“Turn around, do the math.
Run. Forget your false impressions.
You can’t stay on this path.”

Is is too late for them?
Will they continue to follow,
If I abandon what I said was true?

I told myself I knew,
Now my words sound hollow.
Leadership? Old fears it renews.

“Turn around, do the math!
RUN! Forget false apprehension.
You’ve learned from this path.”

And so I left the others and the road,
It was difficult and humbling-
My failure, explicitly showed.

Now I’m ready to follow You.
And I’ll do so without grumbling.
Thank God, for He came to my rescue!

“Turn around, do the math!
Run my race! Forget dejection!
My plan was accomplished on this path.”
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