don’t blame me, it’s not my fault. you’re afraid of the decisions you have to make. you’re obsessed with what isn’t yours to take. you’re tired of the confidence you have to fake. you’re ashamed of the way that you break. stand in your place, and don’t blame.
and the coward points their rot finger at someone else, hoping that this will make them braver. but blaming doesn’t purify, it keeps rotting them from inside
your greedy hands are no greedier than mine, as your fingers travel past my waistline, thinking that i’m about to waste my time on a man like you, “too good to be true,” kinda borrowed, about to be blue. my greedy hands will clench, as i lean closer on that bench, ignoring your disgusting cigarette stench. “i’ll break your ******* jawline if your hands don’t leave my waistline,” and you didn’t waste time
it’s 2:37am and i went to a bar for the second time in my life on my own volition, and a guy grabbed my ***.
(Sometimes) I hate you, But the neediest parts of me still crave the vague admiration you hid between pages of manipulation and abuse.
I tell myself that I’ve moved on. I ignore the cold sweats and screams that interrupt my dreams. I push the thought of you to the bottom left corner of my mind, Stored with other trauma, like family dinners and math homework.
It takes all the strength left in me Not to set your castle of comfort ablaze With the months of lies and exploitation. How easily I could send it all tumbling with the flick of a finger, Yet I don’t. Maybe its because I’m humane and lenient in the ways you never were, Or maybe its because I’m a coward Just like you.
I’ve been fighting, my whole life As I see you enjoy your time I can’t help to wonder Of who you truly are
You know you’ve been playing life On easy While the rest of us try to fight our way To the top You’re out here looking to the bottom As if you’re immune to the fall Don’t worry it won’t hurt at all The accuser works hard But you need to work harder And if you’re scared then remember At least you won’t make it past the bottom
“These days seem so dull” Can’t say I can relate to your problem Wondering of what you could be I’m out here pinching pennies Just to make it through the mourning
Let me hate you from afar It’s what cowards do Wishing you could join their misery And marinate in hate No one understands them For only they have the right To rule the world
Your struggles never mattered It’s not what they focus on They’ll keep on tossing and turning Wishing they could be just you But for now just enjoy your privilege Before the tides turn Life wasn’t always fair for them But life wasn’t always fair to you too
Every step you take towards me I take three steps back away from you I just can't, I don't have it in me To just stand still And let you get closer to me I just can't, I don't have it in me To take the step towards you And meet you halfway I just can't even if I wanted to I just can't, I don't have it in me.