Through alcohol my words I stutter
So what if I've turned to another
Vice, don't look twice
On our mistakes, we were meant to break.

And I wish I could still please you
But now I look through
Our veils of betrayal and disappointments
Do you think we can still make amends?

Wish I'd been enough
Wish I didn't catch you laugh
On my pain
Can you handle the blame?

Why be weary in the perfection of your blade
When the flaws in your step are much fiercer?
What is the point of your bruises and cuts
When you still lack the distance to pierce her?
Just how many more of her blows can you take?
When will you stop holding back?
Loosen your grip, and sunder your stance,
Don’t your opponent their slack.
Though, she is not the enemy.

They tell me
So many
Ways to solve my
Problems; days go by
And I hear the same things
Over and over. The people speaking
May be different but it all
Just sounds the same. I fall
For the same tricks again
And again,
Same so-called friends
And my permanent mindset.
You’d think I haven’t tried yet
But the worst part
Is that I’ve taken
The suggestions
To heart;
Tried so many times to start
(Because I know
They would probably make life so
Much better)
But it just never works with me.
They’re probably
Right about needing to reflect.
What else could the problem be?
Because (apparently)
It is always my choice;
Yell in joy or raise my voice.
Because you cannot blame
Others when they make
The same
Mistakes.
Because when they promised they
Wouldn’t, they didn’t mean
What they say.
Because you don’t have the right
To make yourself seen
To society.
No right to influence others,
Even though the people
Still keep tabs on one another.
Because there is no one except
Me that can’t accept
Others for who they are.
Because people you consider close
Have the right to decide
They’ll be far
From your side.
You call it constraints.
I’d like to call it selfish complaints
In their heads
But of course I read
The room wrong.
Because it was my choice
To not be able to be strong
Today.
That’s why I can’t say
No one cares.
Because it isn’t fair
To expect some love
In return when I put you above
Everyone, everything
Else. Because I can’t think
That friends should benefit
From being together. It
Simply
Isn’t right for me
To expect the best from you
Because it was my choice to
Do
It all.
Because when I fall
Down,
I shouldn’t expect anyone around
To actually try and pick
Me up. People’s lives are quick
And busy;
And the only constant
In the friendships falling apart
Is me.
Because being useless,
Talentless
And joyless
Was all my decision.
There is no such thing as imprecision
Here. It’s all you,
Not them. They didn’t do
Anything wrong.
It’s your fault you can’t
Get along.
Constraints apply to them,
Not you.
Don’t even think
Of that excuse.
Go self-reflect on how
You need to change now.
After all, no one has the rights
To tell you
What to
Do.

When you decided to leave
We shut each other out of our lives completely
You changed your "About Me" to quotes to help you grieve
And when I finally thought we were through
You changed your quote to "I loved you too"
Which messed up my mind completely
Then you changed them to song quotes
And you put little hearts around it
I thought you moved on, so I ignored it
I thought you fell in love with someone else, letting me be
When I looked up the lyrics, knowing they had to be about me
And I thought you were silently asking if we could be friends
So I decided to talk to you again
And you spoke dryly and ignored me again
And that was my last attempt, so I decided to move on
And now you decided that I'm the one that's gone
So what now are you trying to achieve?
You lost the one that stayed when you decided to leave

I trusted you. I really did.
Back then, I was just a kid.

Two years of agony have burned in my soul.
I’m sorry, now why won’t you let me achieve my goal?

You took the freedom from my innocent, wounded hands
Watched my happiness disappear like the infinite grains of sands

Like I’m in a prison, security everywhere
Clutching my fragile heart, with every wound and fear

And you can blame it all on me
But now I won’t even tell you who I want to be

Now I’ve matured, and finally moved on
Why won’t that strictness of you carry on?

Why can’t you be the person I thought you were?
Why can’t you treat me just like her?

Why must I be the person you lash out on?
Why won’t you miss me when I’m gone?

It’s because you took everything, even my personality
Now, I’m a nobody. Just me and your brutality.