I never knew the pretty sky was so indifferent
So blue and so blank
Standing there without a response.
Surrounding me as it just watches on
As my head is weighed down
As my shoulders become heavy
As my knees want to hit the ground

Nothing is working.
The problems just stack on
Its books are piling on
Insistently,
Showing me that it can.
The distribution isn’t even
Doesn’t matter.
My back not sure if it will give out
Perhaps, just waiting for the right time
To truly become another future
With a wishful past.

A hand to alleviate it wouldn’t come
A wishful thinking of a story
A movie that would get blistered by real life
I’m already getting burned under its sun
Beating on without a care
Quickly chafing off the careful wrapping
Around how it was supposed to go
Preserving the candy that shouldn’t get *****

On this day, it got exposed to the true air
It cracked under the pressure
The lines show the map of the world
In your mouth,
It’s ready to break a tooth

A lean against the wall
Trying to hold my body up
Against the weight of my thoughts
As they swirl becoming poison
Sticking to the sides of my mind
Within this tornado
The sun shines on.

The breeze flutters the leaves beautifully
Showing all the sides of its colors
It reaches my face coolly
Washing over my thoughts
Increasing the turbulence
The starker the contrasts of green and blue
The blunter the world reveals itself to be.

Not a single cloud passing by up above
Empty eyed as it looks on
Keeping cool as everything collapses
Hands restless trying to catch all falling
It’s slipping through my fingers
Too quick to grasp and hold.

To give up is an option that comes up.
A whisper infiltrating with the sweet air.
To shut my eyes
And un-focus my gaze
But I’m surrounded by multiple paths
All escapes paved with yellow flowers
Each and every pretty without promises
Petals covering every space
Not showing any holes in the ground
Until I’ve already fallen in
Wanting to turn back.

From inside the well
Or from the sidewalk
The sky looks the same
Coded with a thousand cliffs
Unable to decipher their meaning
Constantly shifting as the time comes
What seemed so stable
Becomes all blurry in a glance.

To exert a force in my arms
And hold my body up
Against this pressing weight.
I let out a breath that traveled miles
Pushing away my thoughts for now
I stand up off the rail
And try another time.

Not a single cloud passing by up above
The world remains colorfully calm
And the sun makes the leaves greener
A few seagulls fly by overhead
The challenges weigh down on my back
While the pretty sky seems bluer

Don’t turn over that photo.
That window into brighter days,
steps as light as air,
and storm clouds easily brushed away.

Don’t turn over that photo.
That reflection of wasted potential,
reminder of love doomed
to fester and rot, a once
sweet fruit carelessly strewn aside.

Don’t turn over that photo.
Tear it to bits, burn it to ashes,
anything to prevent its siren
wail from shriveling any scrap
of happiness still clinging to life.

settle down, settle down
always on the run
ever standing by

mind and heart far out the window
meandering between hope and fear
can't handle standing still

downward spiral
get out, escape
force yourself to stay, be happy

can't resist the feeling
something is waiting
it must be

not looking for 'perfect'
in need of less and more
and something special

there's no other way
decisions made
no second chances

fated to fly
forever like this

The bridge you've built is toppled
Don't you dare act startled
You are where this started
Cry for mercy choking on the apple

The curse of you is cyclical
First compassionate, then cynical
You act as though it's typical
Body of desire biblical

In the body of water a body to love
Hunt like an eagle, drop like a dove
Or would you rather dive deep in the ruff?
Contemplate regal, incomparable stuff

19 and still
hating myself
over the actions
of other people

feeling stupid
for failing
the person
i love the most

His name was Johnny. His close friends and family liked to call him, little johnny.

This story is about little johnny, with his report card nearing, he wanted to throw one last Hail Mary.

He tried his best and paid attention. He did all but one math question.

On the night before the big day, he knew that this was it. He fell asleep from fatigue, before everything he learned could even hit...

Next morning, little johnny feeling proud of his effort, went off to school feeling great from his rest.

Unfortunately for little johnny, the results show...that in the end he still failed his math test.

This is a story of little johnny, and his mediocre report card.