As I navigate thru the hurls of Life my mind gravitates towards the seductive temptations that linger in the subconscious mindset that I have attained via constant repetitive behaviors that scar me beyond my control and understanding. I hold onto my faith and my sublime thought patterns that perturb my inner soul. Unknowingly recollections of subjected torture and sorrow that I am involuntarily accustomed to...I recite a prayer to my Holy Lord that he remove this impending feeling of agitation and aggravation towards how my mind works and self sabotages it's sober state of being. Maladapted and a Degenerate ******* I am because I do NOT have the strength nor courage to remain in constant contact with my inner self to be able to control my impulses to use Narcotics. Truly, I have finally realized am powerless and deathly spiritually sick with endless intrusive thoughts of ******* on a suicide mission alleviating the symptoms by succumbing to escaping reality thru the Narcotic Amplification slowly self destructing by the utilization of this ******* substances that keep me trapped chained and imprisoned within my body's constantly nagging me to continue to use the drugs to escape my feelings, thoughts and emotions...am left exhausted and incompetent to deal with Life's struggles and circumstances. Without doubt I know I need to learn to retain my sobriety NO MATTER THE COST. I cannot allow myself to continue to indulge in this illegal substances to temporarily make me feel better make me feel special make me feel extremely desensitized from my current problems I cannot afford to keep running like a ******* coward I must learn to face Life on Life terms...maintain my impulses under control retain my spiritual growth and keep grinding towards keeping my commitment to myself to NOT use anymore because it's slowly making me evil more devilish more violent more sinful and in the end it's just killing me to know I am not practicing self care nor loving myself enough to NOT practice this erroneous behavior that it's making me hate myself more and more daily because it's total insanity to continue to contribute to slowly **** myself due to the fact am literally paying for death every time I use drugs to deal with Life. A decade of this **** **** am so done with it... please Holy God take this punishment away from your Son who without fail believes in you loves you and has unfailing faith that does NOT shake because I rely on Christ to keep me alive and well. Enough of this madness I have walked thru enough darkness to know that am literally losing my willpower to maintain my health, happiness, comfort, belief, faith and livelihood. God I pray thee you relieve my destructive addiction and relieve my painful past allow me to LET IT GO...I know I will continue to fight this enormous disease with a strong composure and continue to sanctify my temple slowly but surely...God May You Walk With Me Thru This Journey Now & Till My Death. Amen!!!
I dreamt that I was in a cathedral I had never seen before It was empty and serene It was daytime, yet the candles were lit The stained glass windows did not allow for too much light I was wearing formal attire It was then that I observed a child standing in the left isle He seemed overcome by sadness and desperately lonely The young boy came closer At once he grasped me around my waist He held me in a tight embrace His little hands would not let me go We were caught in a timespace No words were spoken Until the distraught boy broke the silence Please, can I come home with you he pleaded Though I recognised him from somewhere, I did not know him Within a blink of an eye we were at home The boy seemed happy to have found a safe dwelling And I experienced a sensation of wholeness Suddenly I woke from my dream within a daze Trying to gather my thoughts Trying to make sense of it all Was it real or just a dream I wondered Who was that child, and why did he look so incredibly familiar? But the day had begun and the sun was bursting through the clouds I stumbled to the bathroom, splashed my face with cold water ... looked in the mirror At once I realised who the young boy was It was me … Yes, me ... I was the child who needed time and space to heal and grow At an appointed time we met and merged The pieces of a broken puzzle had come together The inner child had finally come home
Bigger that Xucha 🚀✨ Jojo Siwa 👩🎤✨ Tatiana, and Mr. Rogers 🎶✨ She creates her own legend 📓✨
Building children up 👶✨ Educating 🍎✨ People of all kinds of genres 📚✨
Turning all their pages 📖✨ Until she finds the current plot ⏰✨ Ready with her pen ✍️✨ To help them connect the dots \/\/\|\🖊 To view the bigger and smaller picture 🖼 With lots of love 💖✨ And pleasant thoughts 🌈✨