Something has been eating me alive and it's coming from within when did it truly begin when did it start eating away what's the cause of this decay my insides are in disarray out of place some things missing slowly filling with the void an empty replacement fulling with darkness it won't stop spreading is it truly from within or did you infect me pierce me with your toxin to slowly eat away making me useless so I can't fight your words your toxic hate breaking me down piece by piece destroying who I was and what I could be but your gone I have begun to heal but it's hard to replace what you've taken what you destroyed sometimes I can still taste your poison I know ill never forget what you did the pain I felt but I can be better I WILL be better I can make it out alive I can heal no matter how hard you tried I'm still alive
the gift in a dilapidated two-story country home empty for miles through holes in the walls on either side blackened supports and ramshackle comfort tackled by fire caressed by rain you can see through to the second floor if you tilt your head, expose blood subways, let your hair grasp at spine the fault of past residents mirrored in big blue eyes a world of green and brown surrounding, no, growing from this pin-***** destination left to the wind, to the quiet the underscored call of persons, stronger than I, who knew they were finished and walked away. who saw the green and the brown, and looked at the home, once warm, I'm sure, and thought, "there's so little here, compressed, with an expanse beyond so much friendlier than brittle walls, tender floors, metal and wood."
Remember, one Summer, street was closed for construction We'd careen through the roads near each other's homes. Wheeling through dreams on our bikes in the swelter we'd reach for the sky 'neath the cottonwoods' dome.
Some nights, I still walk through those baseball glove hours-- those sweat-smelling days and those Kool-Aid stain weeks. And I can still feel that pubescent laughter which lived in my chest and still pounds for release.
I've leased some apartments and filed my taxes. I've broken some promises and I've been destroyed And I've been rebuilt, but never rebranded Those Summer time sunsets tattooed on my sinews, they just wouldn't have it.
This is my awakening I guess that I should thank you Cause if you had never left I wouldn't ever see what's next And this is for the best In myself I must invest All those words I never said How they're just running through my head
You're telling me to leave but I think you should go instead I gave you everything you got So why'd you take all that I had? You made a mess up in this house And left me standing in the glass I'm throwing out what's left of us I'll take it out like it's the trash And once you hit the road Don't ever think of coming back
it's me isn't it?! i speak - things fall apart i don't mean it - i'm covered in scars i hold my tongue - i'm losing who you are - you're losing me i say i'm sorry - it's not my fault - but i know it is i walk away - leave the things i tore apart to c r a c k l e and b u r n
it is the epitome of mad terror I've been lobotomized; in my nightmares by ******-analysts who seek the blood of the weak and naive for the guilty and the geeks same geeks who strive on books and their gram of coffee beans they eat and chew on to nourish their brain with more anxiety and horror.
listen to me
I tell you
walk by me
I tell you.
Walk the streets to the left holy mass concourse of scalawags to the right a pile of wet cigarette butts and broken garbage cans. my brain has been castrated. my guts are tormented from all my past experiences. Enter the room; full of art melancholic darkwave in the background and peace.
Do not get out of the room.
I tell you.
(from outside the room)
noises and yelling people fighting misery
Reincarnation has to come to an end.
One is enough, I tell you. ONE IS ENOUGH.
Now, I swim in my Andromeda and float in the milky way..