Bry 3h
I want you to love me
Because your blood runs in my veins
And I’ve offered you my love
But you’ve only given me pain
So finally I hurt you
In return for hurting me
Yet I am left with guilt
I don’t feel better, nor do I feel free
Now I am left only with one question
Have you ever felt guilt
For hurting me
Evie 11h
i cry and smell my childhood
through my stuffy nose
and i wish i was a little child again
late at night where i can scream
and feel mother's arms around me
and then she will bring me cherry juice
but instead of cherry juice i see and taste blood
instead of warm arms i feel my own clawing at my skin
and i feel as old as 90
with only hatred surrounding me
mom doesnt hold me anymore
because im grown
go hug yourself
and go take your skin off while doing so
and rest
I am starting to recognize myself again
You know, the me that you tried to suffocate
The real me
The woman that laughs out loud at dirty jokes
The woman that didn't want to bite her tongue in front of your judgemental family

I am starting to look in the mirror and like myself again
You know, the me that you always insinuated needed to lose weight
The woman who likes to cook things because they taste good, not simply because "Angela, the body needs only nutrients"
The woman that didn't  want to disintegrate into broken pieces for you

I am starting to remember what my voice sounds like standing up for myself
I am beginning to recall what the tv shows and movies I love sound like
I am finally starting to love myself again
Blazing the sun,
Here I am living my life having fun.
The days go by in a world that never sleeps.

Despite my efforts in life of doing my best. Life to me feels like it is a test.
Sometimes I weep, I feel like I’m playing on a deck of cards.

Sometimes people ask, what’s the matter?
But my life’s just getting better.

My soul is like the ocean,
Strong, deep and wild.
Adventurous and creative to the core.

I find myself wanting more.

I’m surrounded in a world that’s just about vanity, but to me that’s just insanity.

Sometimes I feel down, I feel like a clown.
There are times I cry and die a little inside.

My head feels like it’s going to explode when I feel anxious, moments when my head feels like it’s on fire because I feel dire.

I walk alone because I’m wise. I avoid small minds.

Music and clarity are the only things that keep me away from insanity. They are the reflection of my aura. The definition of my life’s mission.
After all, I’ll always do what I can with my time just to be fine.
There’s no need to use my intuition.

A poem written by Connor Vibes.
(2018 - All rights reserved)
Soft skin
Addictive smile
She slips through
Easy to let go.

I struggled on
Missing her scent
Girlish twinkle
In every mirror.

Left me hanging
Just a memory
With her hair in my face
And her hands in the sky.

Why do I try
When all I do is breathe
And see a shadow over me

Why do I cry
When there's nothing
She's the shadow over me.

You provided shelter
Without a shoulder
I lived through that
To see your face.

Now I look ahead
Holding hands
Feeling your presence
But I'm alone.

12th July 2018
I wrote this when I was inspired by a Sam Smith song I was listening to (not Too Good At Goodbyes fyi)
I find it easy to write about a woman breaking my heart because women break my heart easily if I'm not careful. This poem isn't based on a real woman however (as stated above, I was inspired by a Sam Smith song.)
Why can hate for someone grow when you no longer know who they are? Why can we be sad when we're also happy?
Why do we exist in a world where everything is supposedly coincidental?
Were your feelings of hate for me coincidence, when you confided in me, and I in you? Or was it always supposed to end the way that it did?

Why do I want you to forgive me, when it no longer matters?
I remember you saying,"You're a good person".

Now the words you last spoke to me ring in my ears.
I deserved it, but does that mean I don't deserve to be happy
Now that we're stangers, I wonder,"Did you ever really know me enough? Did I ever know myself enough?"
Sometimes my longing for you
runs over
into longing for myself
not in the biblical sense,
god no,
but in this wanting
that breaks fiercely out of my skin
a wild hurt that you are not here
that you and I are not us
that I am not you
an open letter to my personal demons:

if you’re going to haunt me
the least you could do
is pay rent
Karmen 5d
It's really fucken bummy
beautiful writing developing in mind
feeling sparks in heart
knowing people will relate
expressing yourself, speaking in general
or so you'd hope

once your hands taken off
your pen becomes lost
scribbling its own thoughts
nothing like you even thought
ending up a writing , that was meant for anybody
to a writing involving our times together
feelings and memories i thought had passed

lighted eyes, sparked mind
feelin hurt to discover im not really over
thanks to my hand taking over
telling what my heart is still mourning over
thought i lost this heart ,
but my hand reveals its still in place
writings always becoming you
damn, im such a fool
journal entry to many . soon to be book .
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