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Annie 46m
My outer layers are ephemeral,
Shifting from day to day
At one time, all I want is some rest
The next, to go out and play.

There’s an Annie that loves to be seen by others
Full of charm, glamour and style
This person is rare, and once coming out
Likes to stay in and hide for a while.

The scientist in me loves reason and rhyme
It gives her a means to an end.
She’s the most relaxing to stay in for a time
But fails to amuse her friends.

Emotionasia loves deep conversations
The kinds hipsters will have in college
She’s impatient, tempestuous, selfish at times
And has deep empathetic knowledge.

When I chance to change, which happens quite often
I don’t understand why I’m here.
It’s scary to see the world different each day
Both wonderful, and filled with fear.

I’m not just a disordered amalgam of traits.
I have purpose, a worldview, a home.
But when each of these traits in my change every day,
It’s hard to think much is my own.
lips red
eyes glossy
heart beating
tired of the things you cannot control
feeling like a failure

but what you don't know
is that you're the voice that tells me no
you're the person that lets me know
that no matter how hard things become
that i will always pull through

because what i can achieve
is up to me
it's in my hands

and i'm always in your thoughts
or so you say
It was a tough time to beat. 19 seconds? It’s actually faster than getting hit by a car. Reeling lights are flashing and suddenly all of it makes sense. Every piece of thought dismantled and was put into its rightful place. There was no beginning and end, only Now. This is where Time rests and Truth is one with the stars. 19 seconds and everything shifted. Blink once, stand still, and look up. Tell me, what do you see?
ambient 4d
if I am here no longer,
level me shrouded
down into the oceans
as one with home again
and please;
save your sorrow from
these pathetic bones.
this one is gentle. I’ve been away maturing, I hope. at least a little...
(21:16, 09/15/18)
i know it’s not actually any of my business, but i noticed that you're sighing an awful lot lately,
and you just look so tired and upset that i have to ask: are you alright?
if not, how can i help?

and i see it, this rapidly morphing display of emotions behind your eyes.  i know what it is without a seconds doubt because i do the same thing when faced with these questions.

first, you soften ever so slightly with the smallest notion. that ‘god yes, i need a hand here,’ look.

but is turns corrective as you think,
‘but, that would be too selfish to ask.’
this look is bitter.
i feel it more than i see it.

then, at the last moment, your eyes speak so loudly of defeat that i could hear them from across the building if i were listening hard enough,
and my hearing is quite poor.

but, even so you say
yeah, no, no.
i’m alright, love.
just not sleeping much,
what with work and all.
thank you,
anyway.

and it’s so damn hard not to shout defeat, myself, faced with something i so deeply empathize with,
yet still am unable to aide.

stop smiling for me.
we’re so filthy with grief and doubt that we lie to each other for no reason.
stop thinking that simply because i have pain, yours is
inoperable, redundant,
non-noteworthy.

if you are hurt, please cry, or scream, or do anything besides smile because to me it just looks like a sad mask.

all i see is myself in that, and you know how much i despise myself.

i want you to tell the truths i already sense, for your own sake. even if you don’t want advice, for the love of whatever benevolent god is listening, let me at least hear your burdens.

spill your guts so i can help you clean up the mess the way you always help me with mine.

signed,
your extremely worry-sick friend.
this is very unlike anything ive written in ages and is obviously very personally pointed, but i needed to get this out
Sara Kellie Jul 14
If I can't be your Daughter,
then I won't be your son.
Forget the shame and
just move on.
The next time you won't see me
I'll be wearing a skirt
and not doing just to please you
would just hurt.

By letting you go there's
nothing I lose,
I care not what you think,
nor of your views.
You should've known anyway,
"A Mother knows" or so they say.
You've run out of time,
I won't wait anymore.
So go and tell that to
the other four.

In fact they too are to leave me alone,
don't knock on my door
and don't try to phone.
You've ignored me too long and
in that time I've grown.
In fact, you've taught me
how to live alone.
The Woman I am has no
fear anymore.
Now walk straight through it,
I'm showing you the door.

Poetry by Kaydee.
As comfortable as it might make you.
I don't have bird flu, I'm not bi-polar,
and I don't have ebola.
I'm a transgender woman and
have been since 14.
Evie 6d
maybe i have died
and that is why he is not responding anymore
Why am i like this
Anya 7d
When you write a poem
It's your
thoughts
emotions
experiences
Once you share it
It becomes a chameleon
Changing itself
Not to camouflage and hide
But to be viewed by each reader
in a personal and individualistic
Manner
Arke Sep 11
Dear self,

Be brave enough to break your own heart.

You spent thirty minutes talking to your mother last night. She wasn't great to you growing up, and I know that. I think back about how she teased you for wearing long sleeve shirts over summer when you cut yourself. I think about the time she told you to kill yourself. I think about how she tried to cut out people from your life and still, to this day, doesn't know about some of your closest friends because you needed to protect them from her.

Do you realize how loud your unhappiness needs to scream for her to hear it? This may be the first time, in thirty years, that she listened to it. She took it seriously. She told you to go. That it would be okay. And she validated the thing you have known in the pit of your stomach and the bottom of your heart for years.

Go.

You aren't a bad person for leaving a situation that doesn't work for you. Leaving someone you love doesn't mean you never deserve love again. You aren't disgusting. You aren't a monster. You aren't being stupid. You aren't making a mistake. You have always told others that they don't need a reason to leave. You have always shown everyone else a kindness you could never show yourself.

Leave.

Just because you have everything others want doesn't mean it's what you want, or what you need. Right now, at this moment, this isn't good for you, and that's okay. You love him. He loves you. It was beautiful, and it was good. And ending this will destroy both of you in ways you won't even imagine right now. And no one will fix these holes inside of you. It takes courage to realize you need to rebuild yourself. It takes courage to become.

It takes courage to break your own heart. But just like the physical scars you've given yourself, the emotional ones will heal, too. And you will be okay. This is your permission to do what is right for you.

Love,

Yourself
Things I need to hear
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