my heart is so big
      because it was already broken
long ago,
      before I even knew what a whole heart could be.


                                   - thanks, dad

i understand now.
you're just uncomfortable.
you never left that convenient bubble
you're parents allowed you to form.
you were never really ready to have kids.
you weren't ready to take care of us
because you never grew up yourself.
we finally have a mind of our own
and you don't know how to react to it.
back then, you were never even ready for a relationship.
you were selfish for love
but never matured enough to take it on.
you really haven't matured since.
now because of it
your wife is suffering, feeling like she doesn't matter to you.
she cries mid-day because she can't keep you under control.
your kids feel like they're the parent-
picking up the trash you and your dogs leave behind
becoming exhausted trying to teach you what's right from wrong.
not understanding why daddy always ignores them,
never an "i love you" said,
not hugging them before they go to bed.
your parents don't have any respect left for you.
they aren't willing to help you out anymore
and they make that quite clear.
it's no wonder why there isn't anyone who wants to spend time with you- you never want to spend time with anyone outside of your online game.
all you do is complain.
you're just so uncomfortable with the thought of your children growing up, finding love, getting married and having children of their own.
and if it makes you so uncomfortable to see them now, just wait until they're your age doing ten times better than you've ever dreamed.
you won't know how to react to any of it because you never became comfortable with the way life works.
if you couldn't figure out how to grow up then,
how will you grow up now?
the sad part is
your big boy shoes don't have any growing room left.
i should be glad you're not an alcoholic or a druggie.
a smoker or a whore.
but i guess addiction is addiction
and it hurts just as bad.

I can’t forget you.
The both of us share a face.
I can’t see myself.

Stagnant love
I don't know what we have ,is it something true,does it happen to have a definition.....

Is it more than just physical attraction....

Can I surrender my insecurities to you......

Will you accept my flaws.. Or will you push me away....

I'm not perfect I give what I can ... And remain rejected

I'm at a point in my life where I longed to be.....now I'm still sorrowful....

My emotions are misinterpreted .... And my efforts are the last to be noticed....

I'm tired of feeling sad and alone.......

I prayed for the moment we would share our feelings.....

Is it that we wanted something so bad that when we get it we forgot the reason why we longed for it....

I wonder if we are meant for each other......

Sometimes I'm torn ,depressed and confused....weary from over thinking......

So many things kept us apart ,but for some reason we are drawn to each other...

Like magnets our paths collide... Hanging on by the very thread of our curiosity...

Curious to be loved by you willing to share my darkest secrets but scared .....that you might reject me too....

I wish that I could make sense of my pain.....wish I can make you understand that this isn't infatuation...

And though we might never be together .....forever ....

I'll always have a place in my heart .....where your name is tattooed...

Just never forget that my every moment spent with you is all the best memories of my life.... Loved  and cherished......

I'll leave behind my smile to remind you that you were my joy and the reason for my happiness...

Its the wanting you.... never getting you... that keeps me wanting  you...

You inspire me and without you my world would be empty and lost ...


But you'd be fine without me because you're everything  I'm not my love....

A.Jackman

I want you to love me
Because your blood runs in my veins
And I’ve offered you my love
But you’ve only given me pain
So finally I hurt you
In return for hurting me
Yet I am left with guilt
I don’t feel better, nor do I feel free
Now I am left only with one question
Have you ever felt guilt
For hurting me

Maybe you think I think too much.
Or maybe, I’m studying you.

Mistrusting, always
gauging what I should
and shouldn’t do.

I’ll read your mind
like the blind,
with a super psychic eye.

Analyze your words
and machine-like, detect the lie.

Few can pass this test.
Or rather, no one, in fact.

You can stay if you want,
but I’m on to your act.

I walk down to our place
it's getting dark
and I'm all alone
where are you?

you finally join me but
something's amiss

we go up to the house
our hands part
I stare at you
and you at your hands

Does
all
That
Anger,

Calm
Your
Veins?

Doesn't
the
Attempt
To
be
Different,

End
All
The
Same?

.

It does...

Well, what can I say?
I played a show not long ago
And it’s been playing on my mind
You see what i love to do
remains true to me
and helps me to unwind

So Let’s be kind
and rewind just a little...

I have to remember I can’t please everyone
Sometimes I wish my heart wasn’t so tender
And I sometimes I wish I could
JUST
PLAY
DUMB

It’s on the tip of my tongue,
But I just can’t put my finger on it,
It’s like I’ve got an itch on my nose,
One that grows and grows,
and then again no one knows about it,
why I post such a negative thing on FakeBook,
Cos i’m so hooked on that one thought,
That’s brought me to my knees,
Posting on Stutterbook seems like my only release,
And then I think to myself...
Wait a minute!
THIS is MY way of life
No one else’s!
I am NOT doing this for them,
I am doing it for me
As long as I love writing
As long as I love producing
As long as I love performing
And even recording
And rehearsing

I now have a better understanding
of what hard work means
Blood, sweat and tears
Something that takes years and years
I’m happy to mention all my fears are fading,
Erasing all my doubts I had as an artist
well, I could’ve just said carthasis,
But I just had to look on google translate
so I can demonstrate to you
That I am always learning
Yearning to get better and better
Cos like I mentioned earlier
This Is
MY way of life