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Received on February 14th, valentines day
Not meant to be this way
Just for my soul to train
The cup she gave me
my valued  possession
turned to the thing
blocking progression
I drink from it
Filled with rage
Wrists un-slid
again, this stage
Keep it to tease
the beast inside me
for if I throw it away
I would be the same
that I was the day
I broke her
and threw her away
This cup my ex gave me for valentines day this year, I've hid in the cupboard to not see it, but then I started drinking from it again and started hating myself again even more, everything in me aiming to throw it, but then I grew silent
And remembered
I threw her away first
and broke her first
Fucking hate myself for that
Ocean storm rages
Behind these eyes, in my mind
Outwards, a calm sea
Cradling and pacifying,
A gift for enabling narcissism,
Wiping tears and standing strong
Even as the bellows break my spirit.

Never rising
Without repercussions,
Manipulations and invalidations,
Demands for constant zombification.

Fingers inching for cherished blades
Obedience taste bitter.
I should have learned to be docile,
To know when to wither.

Instead I was born with poison
Pumping through my veins,
Chaos in my brain,
And wear wrath as a crown.
A visage of days gone by,
A shadow of what it once was,
Nothing but sweet memory,
To feed my soul in these days,
Time passing by faster than ever,
Yet dilating as I sit,
Phantoms of days long gone,
Haunt the dreams of everyone.
Emma 7d
Invidious, invective, violent, and vicious

I say that I understand,

but you ignore me when I feel like flaying myself,

and I want to dig my teeth beneath your skin and expose the red threaded muscle beneath,

energy screaming against the sides of my brain.
I seem to have this problem with me,
That everytime I go out, I always find myself in a dark alley,
A disgusting piece of s*it stinking of vomit and pee,
A very sad character with a dark twisted reality,
One who can't be able to return to normality.

As everyday I wander this restless streets of grey,
Trying my hardest to not let my body sway,
Walking the cobbled sidewalk in a funny way,
Talking and yelling to random people "Hey!"
Trying to reach them as they parted away.

For I looked like a plauge walking restlessly,
In no certain path but leading to Misery,
Singing songs with a bittersweet melody,
A tortured bird in a cage of depravity,
Crying out hoping to gain Sympathy.

But as the Mother shines her rays on me,
I see myself in a moment of Clarity,
A sad man full of Sorrow and Agony,
Of Regrets and Broken Dreams of Vanity,
The very reasons that caused me my own Frailty.

Tears run down my cheeks in self pity,
My heart bursting to its full capacity,
I wailed letting go of my own sanity,
Trekking a path to doom like a Calamity,
The Moon shining down as I bring out the monster in me.
When it all comes crashing down.
You know
I am pretty happy
But its not what you think.

Its a box.


Its a box i sit in.
Its the place I built
To hide from myself.
I got my girl.
I got my boys.
I got my friends,
And my games,
And my job.

So im good.


You see.
There are times,
When I think about
How messed up people
Can be:

To each other.
To themselves.
To animals.
To Earth.
To what we can really be,
What we NEED to be.
Even to little kids..........

And this is the time,
When all i wanna do is
Over the lid of that box
And then:

My eyes glisten
within the flames
of pure agression.

The blind kind.

And I watch
As i fall somehow,
within myself,
Like down the throat of a dragon.
Screaming in absolute rage.

You know,...

 the tunnel vision kind?
The seeing red and black kind?
The saves you in fist fights kind?
The no pain kind.

The "if you even hint
That you are thinking,
What I THINK you are thinking.
I will claw my finger nails away
And bloody,
trying to scratch my way to it.
Through your idiotic skull.
So i could remove
What would be the first thought
You've had in years.
So that I could then
Deny its rightful place
As king to the bran muffin
Between your diamond earings
You use to make decisions.
Just so I could then devour it
Excrete it back out,
Set it afire with
The very rage of
That floats somewhere
Between my heart, lips and mind
Just so I could Then throw myself
Upon those very flames.

And all of that...?

So that what remains of me
Won't have the energy to waste
On the thought of you."
Kind of


Devin Ortiz Sep 5
Knowledge of Self, merely an assumption?
Better, or so I thought,
Failing hard, falling harder.

I burned brightly, burning through bridges,
Boundaries, and borders.

The path I walked was ashen,
In the wake of cinder,
The relics of the past.

Change, hubris aside, was shallow,
Was not the core of Flesh,
Just the Husk of Solitude.

I fell to the Rage, that desperate rage.
So eager and volatile.
Hidden in the shadows, in plain sight,
For the time I'd both welcomed and feared.
That explosion of otherness,
A disillusioned self.

Trauma lingers in a double edged blade,
Wounding the wielder and the wounded.
Neither in blood, thankfully so,
But battered pride, twist the ego.
Raziel Sep 4
Black as the void where her soul should be,
Dark as the wicked grin she flashes always unseen,
Darker than her intents,
Setting her siren like instincts free.
Looking at the girl  
Trapped in black or white
I can't help to feel rage of no one seeing her light
Who was there when her heart bled at night ?
She wasn't troubled nor in the wrong
But more of unfinished abandoned song with no beginning or end
It was in herself she had to find her only friend
Always feeling misplaced and a sad disgrace.
Who watched the tears fall from her face?
It was years till she felt the safety of a home
Where she could breath and not feel alone
And for once she felt like she belonged
No one to push her out
scream and shout
Nor fill her head with self doubt
Who was the one who saved her ?
Who painted her world with bright colors ?
Was it her multiple lovers ? The ones she found herself in.
Was it by saving them she saved a piece of herself ?
Or was this filling the void she had since age twelve.
Her world crumbles every now and then
so believe me when I tell you
This story has no end.
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