I was arrogant and ******,
while he put on the moves,
saying you deserved better,
now I know that was the truth.

I can see it now,
all the faults inside me.
It took me losing you,
for me to finally see.

I keep all your things,
tucked back in my closet,
hoping that you’ll come back,
but you won’t, and I caused it.

I took you for granted,
my hostage to fortune,
thinking you’d never leave,
you wouldn’t do that to our son.

Also, our daughter,
I helped raise since three.
It shames me to admit it,
but I thought you couldn’t do better than me.

Now it’s too late,
and you have moved on,
no matter what I say,
you will always be gone.

I’m sorry sweetheart,
for not being what you deserved.
I will love you forever,
even if you think that’s absurd.

This isn’t how,
I thought my life would be,
I thought we’d have our forever,
but that’s not reality.

When they ask you how you got that scar,
What will you say?
A beast
A monster
A fall
Or an accident
Oh yes an accident I was
I ripped the routes
And disgraced the victim
Every truth has two sides
Yet you’ll never learn
All ends meet at the the fault line
A place of the mistake
One of haste
One of poor taste
Aren’t I the one who infuriates you
Drives your bones into each other
Grinds teeth of ivory
Yes I am
It is my fault, though...
There’s fault in you as well

It is I to blame
For the broken friendships
Broken relationships
For the distant stares
And hesitant smiles
As we pass by
           each other
As if we are merely
--acquaintances, merely strangers
Who haven't
Shared secrets
           over a bottle of beer
Or cried in the corner
           sitting in the pavement
           over our insecurities
Or laughed on how silly we can be
           arguing over who will refill
           the tumbler of water
Or watched a horror movie
           but ended up laughing
           on how dumb the characters are
Or gushed over a book
           we both read
           as we dream of our own
           happily ever after
Or supported each other
           as we broke down
           over the families
           who never cared for us
           who we never really had
           until we meet each other
Or the guys who crushed our hearts
           as we made fun of their
           pictures with their new ones

The fault is solely mine.
It's never yours,

I'm the one one who severed the tie
'Cause I'm too ****** up that
I felt like
You don't need a broken soul;
You don't need
To burden yourselves
With someone
Who keep coming back
to the dark

Someone who lost the spark
in her eyes;
Who finds comfort
in emptiness;
Who clings to her demons
just to remember she's still alive;
Who prefers nothingness
to envelope her in eternal embrace;

Blame me
It's me, the fault is mine
Not knowing that we are broken souls in the first place
And we found each other for we complete each other

Blame me
It's solely me
Forgetting that we are all ****** up in the first place
But we are **** ups who understand and support each other

Blame me
It's not you
Not remembering that we all came from the dark
And we are there to pull each other back into the light

Blame me
It's not your fault
Not realizing that we all feel hollow and empty and nothing
But we are there to fill the gaps and spaces left in each other's

Now, I'm left
With the occasional '*** bless'
'Good lucks' and 'Wish you all the bests'
Every birthday;
With the fading photographs
as our very own frame collapse
Because of
Me;
With the jar where the remaining yesterdays of ours
Are stored and secured
And only ashes of once strong relationship laid still;
In that big card that no matter how hard
I tried to keep it safe with a cover
Placed it under my clothes inside my drawer
Still, it worn out
Like how you tried to keep me
But I'm just too attracted
to being broken
That we just 'worn out'

So blame it all on me

It'll be heart-wrenching
for you to forget me
But I'll understand
I'll be fine
At least, I know I'll try to be
After all,
it's my fault

I just wish
YOU all the best
And sometime in the future,
can we please
smile at each other
A genuine smile
will be more than enough
for me to remember
that I've once had
Sisters from another misters
It'll be more than enough
You all are more than enough.

so turns out
***** humanity
in all its vulnerability
seems to have hit
a chord within your soul

tell me why
my scars seem to encourage
an uncomfortable isolation
that is felt within myself
when your gaze averts mine

i can’t help but feel
that your thoughts aren’t understanding
your adamant resistance is clear
when you won’t let me explain
that this isn’t a means to an end

i don’t enjoy what i do
to myself, at least
as if watching the last drop dripping from
a serrated blade
brings any form of peace to my mind

you cut across
the veins of my emotion
with uncaring words that scream
‘i don’t have time to indulge in the attention you seek’
when that isn’t the case at all

call me dramatic
my mind has turned to static
into sound that echo similarly
to the demons that hold my heart close
looking into the eyes of a soul that resembles a ghost

a ghost of a former me
they say lovers are the ones that got away
yet never look at that face in the mirror
watch that gleam in your eyes shimmer
melt away, become the twin sister of decay

watch it melt and rot
let it become an infinite not
not a cause or a claim
not an excuse to anyone asking why your depression
‘is a thing’

you needn’t ever feel
the need to engage
in a conversation where you feel
as though you must explain your pain
because indulging in the small mindedness of bigots who’s higher horse is diseased

is never a necessity
or an accessory

but a privilege
to those who will take the time to listen

and maybe even care.

The fault-finder finds faults in paradise,
It's about time that we all realize,
The outer is a reflection of in,
If you find faults; it's your own problem then.