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If I was the kind of girl who kept her thoughts to herself,
If I could bite my tongue and bat my eyes without thinking so far ahead,
If I knew how to dip my toes in the water without drowning in affection,
If I were made to be subtle and delicate,
maybe it would be easier to find someone to lay beside on Sunday morning.
But why would I want a boy who only loves the watered-down version of me?
I'd rather spend my life in solitude
than beside someone who only wants me on the shallow end.
THEY make you feel special-
and then leave as if you were nothing more than a bag of trash.
THEY tear you down without even knowing it-
slowly chipping away the pieces most prized to you.
THEY sink you to the bottom-
and only then do they leave so you’re left drowning;
watching them float back up;
wondering how they manage to be completely fine after wrecking your life.
THEY lie and steal-
parts of your heart and carry it with them as trophies of all the people they’ve hurt.
THEY make empty promises-
they seem solid, but in reality are nothing more than hot air.
THEY are the **** of the earth-
and they reel you, offering you the world knowing that’s exactly what they’re going to ***** from you...
I can't seem to understand
What could be done to soothe this ache
Ripped from a broken rib cage
Measure up all my mistakes

Coloring the glass
Staining all my liquor red
Leave me buried in the past
Spent every last second

Draining the last drops
Strained through broken teeth
Working for the sound of
Something that's worth healing

Finally myself if
Only for the moment
My truth is that I'm lost
In this current, vacant motion

How'd I lose my way
Ana Roe 4d
I could drown in your eyes
Pools of deep brown that remind me of earth
Holding a kindness that I am not worthy of receiving
I feel as if they could see right through me
Peer into my soul and see the secrets I've kept hidden
Ones that contain fragments of you
That I dare not say out loud
Oh, how I wonder what you are
Black star
I’m watching for you
Waiting for you
Void of mystery
Painful curiosity
I watch carefully
I reach out as you
Swallow me whole
I drown in
Addicts are lethal lovers
Worthlessness: The state of feeling unimportant and useless. This type of feeling is one that hits you directly in the center of your core, picking at your soul. One that makes your stomach feel saggy and your eyes like craters of the sea that over flows and blurs your sight.
Worthlessness is one that hinders the passing time as well your ability to move forward and it can come out of the void of extensive thinking.
It can cause your words to errupt and crackle off your tongue, only to be washed away by the heavy rain into a puddle of regret and sorrow.
All I see on the horizon is a dark blue hue that Cascades over the whole world.
All I feel is the bitter, frozen winds and the soft snow that numbs my skin.
All I can think of is black and grey clouds that wrap me up and block out any light that reaches out to me.
All that I receive for my rescue is a big brown ship that says "I'm sorry, the weight you carry is too much for us", then sails away, leaving me to drown in the middle of the ocean.
Ariel Nov 5
There are moments when I cannot let anyone see beneath my surface,
For what would they say if they knew how deep these waters go?

My smiles are light and airy, full of hope for tomorrow
But how much, about me, do you really know?
Do you see the stillness in my eyes, when she says the things that cause hurricanes below?

You may not notice, but that's the point.
No one should know how my waters run far too deep.
There are far happier people, who live normal lives
What must it be like?

How would it feel to want to live to see tomorrow, willingly, every day, for the rest of my life?
Would my eyes be a little brighter?
Would my gaze find love wherever it chose to roam?
I know not, I may never will--
For these waters run deep.

Pools of sadness that bleed for several leagues each
You cannot escape once you lose sight of the waves
The light can only reach so far, my dear,
Beyond that, it's just my demons and me.

Deep waters don't always run still
This, you will know
If you ever decide to take the leap,
Dare to peer into my dreams,
And discover what lies within my deep.

Thoughts as dark as ebony, urges to hurt the skin that covers me
You know not what lies beneath.
The hatred that fills my lungs as I gaze into a mirror
The hurt at my own innermost thoughts
"You're not ever good enough"
You have no idea how hard it is to shut them out.

I sequester myself away, struggling to stay afloat
But you have no clue how much effort it takes
For me to keep going, day to day.
I sometimes wish someone else knew that my waters run deep
I sometimes wish you knew how deep my love was for you
But then, dear,
I'd be afraid that you would drown.

For, if there is one thing of which I am certain,
It's that I will die a thousand deaths in my own mind
Before I let anyone (least of all you)
Know the extent of my dark.
I can't always control my depression to work for me, but when I do, I channel it into poetry.
MawaLin Nov 3
And when you left
I overwatered all your flowers
i feel like i have to hide my sadness away from you
like you won't love the raging storm inside of me
and i want to scream at the top of my lungs
but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out
i'm drowning, but only sometimes
sometimes i feel okay and i'm able to breathe
but other times i just feel like an anchor drifting down into the sea
too heavy to bring itself back up
too burdened to care
it doesn't matter if i'm drowning or above water
there's just no reason for this sadness to be inside me
i'm used to the waves of emotions crashing against the rocky cliff
but there's no storm this time
there's no thunder
there's no lightning
but maybe my heart still has a couple leaks
maybe the water is still rushing into it
maybe i don't have all the things i need to fix it
maybe i'm still broken in places no one can reach
i don't want to be broken anymore
i don't want to be full of debris from the storm
i don't want this
and i don't have a reason for why i'm this way
sometimes the waves just wash over me
until i can no longer breathe
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