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An unconscious self sabotage
The reprimanding echo
A bed of invisible nails

Without the smallest clue
What was this discomfort of?

Exhaustion, a cage without doors.
Menial tasks turned impossible
Stumbling around all dazed

Dressed to the ninth in neglect
I keep forgetting to live.
An unconscious self sabotage
The reprimands an echo
A bed of invisible nails

Without the smallest clue
What was this discomfort of?

Exhaustion, a cage without doors.
Menial tasks turned impossible
Stumbling around all dazed

Dressed to the ninth in neglect
I keep forgetting to live.
Daniel Ruiz Sep 2022
I am sitting on a tilting chair near my desk,
A grey cloud pouring rain drops over my head,
My patience running thin as bodies of water
Run through me, Desperate,
as if the laundry in the back is getting wet.

A piece of paper lays on the desk,
Empty, as if my thoughts are on me
Instead than on it.

I’m holding onto my pen,
Maybe a little too tight,
The water hasn’t gotten here yet,
I really feel like I have to write.

I look up and the cloud is getting bigger,
Waves style my hair,
Rivers run down my arms,
My socks are getting wet,
And so is my pen.

There’s water up to my ankle now,
Items in my room are starting to float,
My desk turns Into a sailing boat
And without me it roams.

Water grabs my waist
Too intimate,
But not as intimate as how
My tilting chair embraces the ground.

Im on my own now,
Waiting for my oxygen to run out,
The water filled my room
It is still a mess.

My arms feel heavy,
I let go of my pen,
I watch as it falls on my tilting chair
It hasn’t moved an inch.

I’m Scared.
vinca Aug 2022
my colours have become muddy, confused and foul
but now it is our song that winds will howl
creation of yet another distance between you and i
on my journey drowning as you stay high

little by little, lost the sparkle that you devour,
and hopes became frail like a sick little flower
hollow, even meaning has lost its meaning
with me i carry sweets such as love-lies-bleeding

from earth not a sight, not a soul, not a beam
can reach to the depth of my misty dream
now embraced by the waves and foam, i sink
petals escape my fingertips, bleeding and pink

you, dearest colour-eating, joy-******* vampire
forsaken, yet my yearning for you is always dire
even once sweet promises became bitter poison
sunken, my eyelids and heart grew heavy as iron

lilies stay afloat and your light can't reach to me
tongue-tied, lips-shut, no more letting a single plea
my tears now accompanied by freshwater pearls
from my chest to the surface one last daisy swirls
nothing like the picture that my mind painted but yeah, missing him
snipes Jul 2022
gravity lost its pull
scientists can’t answer this
i’m drowning in the ocean
with the space between us
leaving us
this time
biblical verses
couldn’t nurse this
i’m beyond lost
i’m nameless
i’m forgotten about
this is my lungs collapsing
prays to god has been bounded
to the heart
as graveyard head stones are
with the script edged out
ends the death of gravity

i was once your draw
now i’m the relative
of death
with no hope
just as memory of a
lost cause
N Jun 2022
My dear, I am writing you from the depths of my solitude, to ease your worried heart and mind. Loneliness has been gnawing at my terrified flesh as of late. Yet, my only wish is to remain alone. Unseen and untouched. I think this is pure joy, or the illusion of it. But I am content at this very moment. I promise.

You might think that I am slowly sinking. That I will soon reach the bottom of the ocean, and you fear it is too dark and solitary there. That I might not survive my own madness— not this time, not by myself. That I cannot swim nor do I intend to learn how to. That I willingly gave my body to Poseidon as a peace offering. That I finally made my peace— not with God, but with a god nonetheless. That I am all swallowed up. That I will not see you again. That I will die lamenting your forgotten smile. That Azrael, the angel of death, weeps over my doom. That I have died long ago—
But how can a corpse feel such emotions?
How do I tell my stubborn heart that it is not beating for you any longer?
How do I comfort my frantic soul by lulling it to an eternal sleep?
—And if so then tell me, my dearest one, don’t I deserve serenity, too? After burning for a decade, yearning for a safe haven. Do you think I finally deserve to rest?
CIN May 2022
Its terrifying here
The kind of cold that makes your bones ache
Is this hell?
Is this some kind of agony?
Am I still drowning?
They say that drowning is horrible if you hold your breath
But if you give up and inhale the water
You get some kind of relief
Your brain is starved of oxygen
Your lungs fill to full capacity
Why does it feel so tempting?
The salt water stings your eyes
There's nothing left to hope for
Nothing left to breathe
You can pray to god
Or you can curse him for a remedy
But you still drown
And your body sinks
There's no fighting it
You are drowning
Just as you've always been
i wrote this while stuck in school during sol testing. there were maybe 30 people in the whole school. It was quiet and lonely at lunch and for a while it rained. it was a beautiful melancholy experience.
jl May 2022
I tell her how
how I drown
in the sparkle
of your brown eyes
I tell her
how I think
I think im
like an asteroid

she listens and
she tells me
about her sun
and how she
drowns in his light,
their star crossed
how they can

I guess
you're the sun
and I
im the moon
she's the only one that understands
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