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there is no redemption for the hopeless
let me hang my head in shame
there is no redemption for the hopeless
these wounds at least let me feel pain

after the battle leave me here to die
i never deemed myself a hero or a knight
why can't you see i cannot win this fight
this coward's only weapon is to hide

there is no redemption for the hopeless
let me accept my defeat
there is no redemption for the hopeless
i lost when i tried to cheat

let me suffer here for all my sins
grace no longer has a place for this monstrosity
i am sentenced a lifetime of being me
the lashings give it all away on my skin

there is no redemption for the hopeless
it took me a while to see
that there is no redemption for the hopeless
because the real enemy here is me
aka me being extra
Bobcat 7h
Clock out, start my car and check my phone.
I look down, see a text "Hey, you doing okay bro?"
Confused and realizing I missed about 12 calls.
Didn't know what was going on, nothing was clear,
Incoming call from 'enter name here'.
I answered "Hey what's up?" and then I heard the tears.
"What's going on? What did I miss? Are you alright?"
'You didn't hear? She was driving and passed away last night.'
I dropped my phone on the floorboard and head hit the wheel.
Thinking to myself-****, this **** can't be real-
This 10 minute drive home felt like forever.
I turned on our song before I stopped to get liquor.
I didn't know what to do and I didn't have much to say,
So I just decided to drink my night away.
I remember calling my mom, it must have been 4am.
She started to cry and asked me, what happened?
I just kept apologizing for not being able to cry.
I tried and I tried but my tear ducts were dry.
I just had an overwhelming feeling of hollowness inside.
I know they say there is 5 stages of grieving,
But I just couldn't accept that forever you're leaving.
You had plans, goals and so many ambitions.
It all changed when you were taken by the ambulance.
Flashing lights and sirens never sounded more silent.
Ear piercing screams heard miles from the accident.
I remember when we wanted to move and start a life.
On our drive home you looked at me and said "Idaho feels right;
We can both work and I heard they have really good schools
Now can we stop somewhere so I can get some food?"
You were so funny and always could make me smile.
Sure, we fought and argued but that only lasted a little while.
Though we hadn't talked in just about a year,
I was still living my most awful of fears.
No matter what happened or time spent apart,
We'd always find our way back to each others heart.
So, though each year gets just a little bit harder,
I know that someday soon we'll get to see eachother.
Gene Rose 10h
I will never learn how to unlove you
but i guess i have to learn
how to love you
a little less
everyday
I will be forever grateful for you.
Gene Rose 12h
Right person at the wrong time?
But maybe there isn't a wrong time
If it's the right person
Kathryn 13h
As we sat in that room
Cold unforgiving
No one said a word
Tears fell from everyone's eyes
The silence was deafening
I still cry tears
Yearning for just one more hug
I can't explain the feeling
So unexpected
I hope you heard what I said to you
As I held your hand
I hurt so deep
I miss you already
......

Numb
i have learned to without you
i have learned that there is more to life
than you
of course, it still hurts
but one day, this poem will no longer be about you
and i will be the one that got away

your loss, babe
;)
Kamini 16h
5 yr old me: “I really liked him. We were having such fun playing in the shallows. He knew all good pools to find exciting stuff in.”

Adult me: “yeah I liked him too. He’s a good listener, interesting, gentle and attentive.”

“He made me giggle and had shared good stuff to eat. He didn’t care that I’m just a girl, made me feel special. Told good stories too…”

“yeah he’s sensitive and made me feel desirable …”

“now he’s gone… why did he go… what did I do? What did you do? Doesn’t he want to play with me anymore? Was I too noisy… maybe I talked to much, asked too many questions… you are always telling me not to talk to strangers… but YOU were snuggling up to him!”

“No you didn’t do anything wrong… you’re right it was me I got carried away with the play, the conversation… my desire…”

“but why did he go he was having fun too…”

“he got scared”

“scared? of what?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will he come back?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ve got a pain in my heart.”

“Me too.”

“And in my tummy…I’m scared it feels like I’m going to explode.”

“what are you scared of”

‘ the pain. If he never comes back will the pain be there forever?’

‘ I don’t know’

“But you said you would look after me. You said you wouldn’t let it happen again. You promised.”

“I know I blew it”

“ please make the pain go away?’

‘I can’t’

‘why not? You’re the grown up’

‘I’m afraid too’

‘why’

‘because the pain might last forever and I don’t know how to make it better’

‘so what shall we do?’

‘we’ll hold each other tight and feel it together’

‘that feels better… I’m still scared’

‘oh?’

‘if you’re scared… you might leave too’

‘If I do I’ll take you with cos we’re inseparable’

‘promise?’

‘cross my heart and hope to die.’

‘I feel like dying’

‘shall we go to bed instead?’

‘Ok but can I have a story….’

‘ sure, but no more fairytales’
you ask again
in response to warmth
Preparing.

But more importantly:
'Will you grow to love me?'

Again, like it was before?
i wonder
The look of welter, in a brother with fear,
Is the love that's fading along with the tears,
Broken pieces of a garden he's been crying for,
And with pain in his body, he keeps rising back for more.

The look of a father, when he gets you alone,
You have seen it coming, and you know that he's gone,
The dust under your tongue and love in your hand,
Knows that he will never come back here in the end.
And  you try hard, loving them,
Try loving them,
Try hard, try loving them.

There's a look of war in the words that he throws,
And wound the weak hearts like they're a fiery arrow,
From all that quick warmth, they have built the blame,
When all that is burning are his human flames.

He may be looking at the smile and lift,
A friendship that to you is a gift,
And there's no escape when he changes you,
But he's changing too.

And you try hard, loving them,
Try loving them,
Try hard, try loving them.
Pushing and pulling of
A black hole reaching
For the comfort of warmth
Dragging Down the
Women he reaches for
Crying maggots as he reaches
For the scythe of life, Of death
His skull bites down
Her smile runs down
I reach out to save them both
Yet, I can only save one
So I save none
Attempts to save a friend
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