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They'll tell you that you're selfish when you finally let them go
They'll guilt you and they'll shame you for not caring
When you take control of all the things that you already know
And let go of all the pain that you've been bearing

They will tremble in the shockwave that you leave them in your wake
As you put the days you wasted far behind you
They will tread above the water in a panic of self-hate
As they realize that there's nobody to run to

They didn't want you, but they did, when they thought you'd walk away
But reality had never crossed their mind
That maybe you are stronger than who you were yesterday
So you had to leave some clues for them to find

They'll scream at you and say that you are wrong to block them out
But the peace is almost deafening to hear
As they realize all the love that now they'll have to live without
They will try and stuff you full of all their fear

So now smile. Walk away until you can't hear anything
What they say is now no longer yours to hold
So go off, enjoy the light that only happiness can bring
And let all the things that you deserve unfold
The road ran out at
Foothills masked by the late
Morning of illusion
Through the fog
Choice was taken
someday we will meet again,
but all this time in separation,
without you i no longer recognize
the person that i am.
it hurts so much to realize,
i got so used to seeing life
from your perspective.
but even though you're gone
and all that's left is pain,
i know someday we'll meet again.
your image flickers in the dark,
you are so distant, yet so close.
i raise my hand to stroke your hair,
i try to hold this lifeless ghost,
but the illusion fades away
and leaves my loneliness exposed.
your image flickers in the dark,
you are so distant, yet so close.
FS-30 1d
I sat in a pool of tears
And felt an emptiness inside,
They said it would come in waves
And I was crashing against the tides.
For losing those you love
There is no greater suffering,
But what is grief
If not love, persevering.
Oh such sorrow upon mornings
break soaks my pillow with
tears of grief.

Darkness vails what I
seek but patients and
company of others softens
the shadows and brings the
light of hope.

My mind wonder’s upon
the possibilities of release
from this doomed existence
that can be so bleak.

It is of heavenly design,
and faith.

To grieve is to know love,
to be released by emotional
stress, its to be freed from
the minds caged thoughts,
seeking meaning.

Ode to grief an unwanted
friend to many.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Alicia 3d
in the dry yellow rolling hills of wine county
where crickets and cicada sing
sweat and memories guided new creation
a place for her spirit to rest
all gathered on homemade pews
strong stones and brilliant quartz the focal point
through cracked voices, stories erupted
they filled tin buckets with their grief
listened to the sound hit the bottom so softly
found a whisper of rhythm
linked arms and danced with sorrow
in a place of peaceful remembrance
those moments her nymph spirit was holding all there
she was the sky full of stars on that dark night
the electric energy in the air
with hands clasp tight
a united silence for the
celebration of her life
and a painful goodbye
For a friend I lost and the ceremony.
Words cannot describe the pain I feel for you now that you're gone.

The thought of you not being here with us seems so un real.

I wish  it was all just a dream the part were you didn't have to die,

But when I open my eyes I realize you were gone to soon.

Without saying goodbye you left us here with our hearts torn apart.

Now you're in a better place up in heaven with god.

A place where you can be free now,

Free from all the pain you had inside.

Now you're gone to soon but your presence will never be forgotten.
I will miss you dearest cousin..
A haggard angel
Stands behind my back.
Is it me or you?
For three decades
She had graced me
With words of love
And fits of anger.
I helped create her
And yet hurt her .
And suddenly, she turns
Away from me,
Still loving me, I think.
But all she wants,
She tells me bitterly,
Is to be alone.
She leaves and I wonder
If she will ever return.
I stand on a garish train,
Thunderstruck, unmoving,
As I watch her storm away.
Suddenly, I feel what she does—
The pain and sadness.
I created her long ago
And know why she is livid.
And now she returns the hurt,
Leaving me as the empty one,
My insides vacuum up sorrow.
Am I now the angel,
Fallen and haggard?
I can't remember what inspired this--probably a film or novel about lost love and irony.
death keeps calling my name
and i'm trying to avoid the temptation
of answering

i see them all in my mind
maddy, and daddy, and matt
they're all waving to me
and i'm waving back
there they are,
waiting in the black
telling me that
once i say yes,
there's no turning back

death is dancing on the dirt
that will soon be my grave
and yelling to me that it's okay,
because all my friends are doing it
this way

i wish they had been stronger
and stayed longer
but i know just as well that it's exhausting
to pretend
that you want to be present
when you want it to end

it hurts
to fake a smile
when your eyes
are aching
from the tears
you're holding back

but none of us
bother to
talk about that
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