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Natalia May 13
If my heart is black,
And my soul is lost.
I, having lost track
Of the hours it has cost.

Can I be free?

The bite of the wind is chilling,
Yet it does not reach my core.
But I stand there, unwilling.
Facing what it has in store.

Can I be free?

The ground sinks,
With one foot in front
It's as though the other shrinks.

Can I be free?

I wish to collapse,
My energy is spent,
Healing the breaks and cracks
With mortar, brick and cement.

Can I be free?

The chains are unshackled,
But no less heavy.

Can I be free?

Bruises and marks appear.
They come as no surprise,
I do not face them with fear,
Nor with weeps and cries.

Can I be free?

This is all unknown,
I am burdened by my mind.
This path is mine alone,
To discover, to unwind.

Am I free?
It's effort to heal from depression. Today it just hit home how hard I'm pushing myself. Emotions are fickle. It's hard not to fall into that black hole. I can only keep trying. One day I'll be free
Em Glass May 7
Just sit still. Look
out the window and wait
for the wind to change,
and the tornado will teach you
to feel relief when waking up
held by no one.
shelter in place day 16
Natalia May 5
Did you think you'd win?
For a moment I did.
As if death or something akin,
Of you, I would never be rid.

Instead I came back,
Fighting tooth and nail,
Healing the breaks and cracks,
Living to tell the tale.

It's not my time,
Not for a long while.
I still have mountains to climb
And am yet to face more trials.

This shadow fades away,
I bid it goodbye.
It fades to grey,
Invisible to the eye.
Facing depression is never an easy battle. I've been to the darkest depths of my being. There are always things I need to work on. It's hard work every day. It takes effort. Nothing is ever guaranteed in life. Hopefully, this shadow has passed and I don't have to face it again.
Natalia May 4
I found that darkness within,
That which kept me awake,
And would lead me into a spin.

Found under blades,
On mellow nights.
As the sun fades

The shadow appears.
Bringing all my sorrows,
All my worries and fears.

The knife would cure
The overwhelming feelings,
All which I saw impure.

Blood would run dry,
Leaving me scarred.
Yet, I would still cry.

That shadow is gone,
Though there are many more.
I am no longer a pawn.
Speaks for itself. I battle with self-harm, I have been winning for a while but that's not to say the thought doesn't creep up. But I find myself under a blade less & less as time has gone.
It's Tea!
Wake up!
Here is your tea
in your favourite cup,
now don't stare at me!
Get up!
Don't snuggle!
It's my last warning! I'll shake it and drink it
if you won't take it.
4:18 AM
Pagan Paul May 1
To hold my heart in delicate fingers
is to hold a fool's rose in your hands,
shed no tears upon its brittle petals,
cry not for the fool that notice demands.

Let it flow like water from your soft palms
to scatter and fall through holes in the dream,
free diving in the space of emotions,
the fool's rose once cut exits the last scene.

So take care next time you happen upon
a fool's rose betwixt the lines of a song,
handle with love for if you hold it wrong
it will take your heart and be quickly gone.

© Pagan Paul (01/04/20)
Andrew Layman Apr 20
Drain the venom with your pen
write it out,
until it wraps around you.

Stem the bloodflow
use it as a tourniquet
spit out the poison onto paper.

This world was made to devour
unhinging its jaw,
seeking to binge on us.

Do not be afraid
be forewarned;
take off the head of the hydra
and be resolved to continue with the cause.
INTO THE UNKNOWN, Copyright © 2020 Andrew Layman
All Rights Reserved.
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