Deep under ground
Through these channels
Communication of a life
Longing led
Bleeding out this medication

Permutation of the rain
Water ever flowing
Through eroded cisterns
Joy and pain
Ever dimmer
And the nowhere this is going  

Through the ground i did arise
Only to find the blackest night
And through the clouds i did escape
Only to find the void of space

Back at the start
Plans demolished
Polishing my motive
Over drawers
Filled with empty inkwells
And words on paper jotted

This nightmare slowly rises
Feeling uninspired
Quiet, new horizons
Bleed out into an open sky

This earth feels far away
This is all I have to say
Simplicity, this final right
Long awaiting, this endless night

Protecting the carcinogen
God bless this anomaly
Who they choose to protect
Intravenously a sight to see

Saving this misstep
Blight of justice, repetition
Six million people left to vet
Each one with tunnel vision

That's the view
Who
Is right
Wrong
Death and disorder
Tagging
The walls
Of the holy manor

Then **** them all
Inside and out
Violent, volition
No one truly knows self doubt
Ventricle technicians

Each coat of paint
Is closing the space between the walls
Halls closing in
How much longer before you fall?

---------------------
Oh god, I'm still alive
Please, someone **** me
I shouldn't have to go through this
---------------------

It's funny, ain't it
Fancy feast for the whole congregation
My words aren't an open book
A buffet for crooks run amok
On ground up horse hooves

Frowning down I pout
I'd **** my ******* self to put their fire out
A brisk shower of intuition
Intention of slowing mass emissions
Eating ***** in
Filtration organs

Go vegan

Get off your soapbox

Feeling far too hot
Modestly boxed in, by each scoff
Folding up my arms as my tongue is lopped off

I know its funny
I'm laughing inside
The same arguments
Humanity is so blind

They all start coming, at the same time

They keep on running up
Flagpole ****
I think I've had enough
Am I anything without this?

Feeling fragile, breaking cycles

Left myself out of the carnage

You'll have your day
Then when that day is done, you'll know what you've become
This is my day
To make that ******* change, the whole world is a stage

----------------------------------

Started with hatred, flowing through the air
Wheres my forgiveness?
Incessant, bound and scared

You seem quite passive, for the way you play
****** body submissive
Power to subvert the enemy

And this is the ending of a waste
The life once gifted has been thrown the **** away
It was left up to you
Now you've got it made
But with nothing more to lose

And nothing left to prove

Syllable death knoll
This appropriate age ends
Busting out its rib cage

I watch them fold up into my palm
And I see them take shape, as lines are drawn
Always looking down, lost but ever found
Until I found the one, who broke my solemn crown

Now, I stand here shaken
Unsure of what to do
Because everything inside me
I've found the same in you

So I tried for simple
And I tried to rearrange
I tried for love, but defiant, nothing changed
I tried to follow, this path I've since refused
Because now I know, I never should have tried
And for you, I refuse to lose

I can see it building higher, behind your searching eyes
Looking for a reason, confusion on the rise
I know you thought that you had broken through
To be left vacant, as my own I do reprise

And I don't know why this world keeps turning for me
And I sure as hell don't think it would for you
Depression and its icy grip
Might be enough to make one sick

If not, for this

And now we know, that this just wasn't true
Tell me, what was I supposed to do?
I could have left with you in toe
And then we both would die, alone

But the time ticks out

And the tide goes out

As my light fades out

There's something I have known

I won't be coming back for you, and you won't be coming back for me
I hate to turn a back on you

But this distance is mandatory

I'm feeling hesitant
To ever fall asleep
Again, let alone tonight

I can't stop wondering

This thing inside a hollow casing
That I call me
Begs for nothing
Nothing.....

I can't believe its almost four fifteen
And the sun is already glowing outside my window

I hate you and I just want to be alone....

Why can't I be alone

Its your fault I hate myself, I hate that you exist, get out of me
I don't want to live this

Four fifteen

Blazed in crimson over my digital alarm clock
I barely hear the noise, the thoughts crowding out of my  head

*******, I just want to be alone
Alone
Alone
Alone
Alone

****

I pry myself up
A headache unrealized blinds me for more than a second
Do I look in the mirror....

Seems like an easy choice, but I still choose wrong

My feet barely keep balance as I stumble over clutter
Things left to remind me of the lack of progression

Head pounding, blood crawling
Life at a standstill
---------
Smile
--------
Pass out on the couch, get up hours later
Missed my buss
****
Better just shoot myself

I don't care if I ever live valuable
As long as someone cries at my funeral

Finality is becoming more palpable
With every moment left becoming so pitiful

There's no longer incentive to create
When you feel like will has been replaced

Do you want to die, five days after you retire?
Or live to mire, a hedonistic empire

A week is too long to go without human contact
Or so someone thinks
I'm not human, and I never signed your contract
Life is lived on the brink

I hear people go crazy, start hearing voices
I hear they got old folks on lithium
Still hearing voices
In nursing homes

I swear, I'll die a kid
Severed from my interest
Reality is giving me chest pains
Everyone is getting heart attacks

Not so lucky, when you count down to fifty
****** up and missing
Any sort of point
A king of self doubt
Self crowned
Holed up in doorless cell
-------------------------------------
In my opinion, the point of suicide
Is a more accurate representation of a life lived
Than the funeral

I hope no one cries at my funeral

Hold that thought
Until you're hands are ******, broken
------------------------

Maybe
(Its not)
but maybe It could be
(*******)
Winning on the golden ticket

Ok, there's no real chance
(no ****)

I swear to god
(Get ******* through it)
I dealt out my pain
From past experience
(***** please)

I mean it
(you can't be serious)

There's a broader gate
Whats the reason?
(I'm glad they segregate)
Pad locked grave gate
(You're a rip off and you know it)

Throw the game to save some face
(Better hide, you'd better run)
Coughing mad hatter fits
(Living sub-par is ignorant bliss)

I miss the days of old
(funny ****)

Barely out the womb
Already wounded
Foray into the fray
Has left me confused
Malnourished and blue
In the face

And yet this constant fear
Of disgrace
(You're ******* fake)

(Fake as ****, I swear I know it
So psychotic and psychotropic
Spend your waking moments hiding
And every other in imaginary topics)

Making do with slave wages
Striking out on all these pages
Jesus left me feeling blind
Contained within these broken places

----------------

They say reading is good for you
They say a lot of ****

Solve the cipher
Find the answers
  
I know

You won't make it
Becoming broken
Out on your own

Free the vision
From the daylight
Before it fades

The waking world
Is not a place
You must emancipate

Thoughts alone
Free and fleeting

No amendments
False commandments
Rain down from the clouds

You're holding on...
Too late, its too late, you must know
Let it go
Corpse sober, crumbling, not so slow

Feed the cycle
Feed the new air
Clean the new skies

Eye of god

Every day, The day break takes
or otherwise brings me unwillingly to a place
where I must
disgrace or commit
to an emotional caliphate

Exterminate

Subjugate the lies and hatred forcing its way through the veins
Under the state, headed by the mindless and the best dressed *******
******* or not at all, **** the rules, make your call
Variation of the same, more to blame than the ones you forgo every flaw

Emancipate america

Ransom sick, eat the rich, starve the poor
Sold at auction at high noon, the heat beats down evermore
Intermission just near missed, its the best part of this show

Only one remains

Nevermiiind all that

eat some cake

Something or nothing
What a strange dichotomy

**** your teenage dream, I swear I'm happy in between

Pressure cooker locked around
slowly bearing down
Everything, never what it seems
No one ever see's what I mean

The fat all melts away
Mixed up with productive pain
Villainy is the new currency
For the kids with blood to bleed

Tragedy sells well
And tearing of chunks of soul
bodes well
If you can't tell the difference

Between hell and high water
Drowning to toll the bell
For the next guy
When even the dead inhale

Something or nothing
**** your false dichotomy

No one is happy
Everyone lives between

I'm pretty sure it'd take forever, to tell you all the places that I've been
I swear to god, I'd live forever, if my soul could last until then

A hollow guess
Sinking fast
Never more than a misstep
I never really thought that we'd last

A stupid joke
Badly told
Whatever helps
Best find something to hold

Something to stand on

I'm pretty sure it'd take forever, to tell you all the places that I've been
But I swear to god, I'd live forever, if my soul could last until then

A hollow frame
Hung by a silver chord
Slowly played
Over the last open door

My final day
To make a change
Emotions fade
Even as I feel them more

I seldom speak

Anymore

I've found out that I'm too ******* bored

It would take me forever, to tell you all the places that I've been
You know I'd live forever, if my soul could last until then

If you did see me
Its on me
A mistake
To say the least

Please don't stop to question
If anyone
Really loves me

To anyone, left here once I'm gone
Hard to say, but I hope you know inner complacence
In this world, its too easy to live on
I hope that I have crossed your mind, every day since

And I've known, for quite a while now
Cynicism only serves the heedless
Hatred is for the lazy, I've found out
And needless, for lives no longer seamless

I'm just

driving layers through my skin
Breaking up, breaking in
Forcing sunshine through my veins

Moving on, taking place
Taking stride, saving face
Never waiting for the chance to change

I wonder, do you think of me at all
Because you live in, deep inside my mind
And although, the past is dead
These bridges burn inside my head
I find, its the eyes that leave me enthralled

Silky smooth, and so untainted
Reminisce, then demonstrate
How my hope has been sedated
By myself
And no one else
A light that will never sate
A couple plans, we can never make
Gasping until I nearly fainted
Breathless from the way

I parted ways

Is it the same for everyone
How it is for me
Willing away uncertainty
Warding against every mundane change

You all saw so clearly that I bleed
Thought this could give me what I need
And I know, someone thought the same

Resilient as you may be
I hope to find you as good as you were
When we were having the time of our lives

Tragic:
A never ending tale of woe
Bringing out the worst emotion
Erosion as the cancer grows
Over any limb no longer frozen

As if:
The diner is empty
Its nearly quarter to nine
Plenty of time, if you ask me
A new betrayal of the bloodline

Seconds pass:
The music slows
Departure of a soul, lost to Avalon
Are you still among the death throes?
Staring blankly at the wall, as time goes on

I miss you

Hey, wake up

I. Miss. You.


You alright?

Too jealous to justify
I earnestly belived I could capture
These ever passing moments in time

And as each one falls past my fingertips
As coarse words fall from my unkempt lips
I only find myself cursing
The lucky few, for whom words are never amiss
And am left still rehearsing
Searching for a way to capture bliss

Too depressive for my own good
And far too negative
Tortured? No
That might imply I can be understood

Lightweight?
That's a bit closer I suppose
I'd ask you to do it
If I thought you would

Overblown and borderline
Constantly finding ways to undermine
To my detriment
To retreat or to repent
Or keep going
Down this beaten path I did invent

Ages pass

Years fly by

Days crawl on till there's hardly any time

Finite and dwindling

Ever draining supply

I still can't find a way to aliviate what's on my mind.


Might as well keep writing down
The same thing

...

Born right, if this incongruous line is to be believed
****, from everything I've seen, why won't you let me be?
From the way they make it sound, I think i'll just pass up that pension

With this luck I'm not sure why I don't pass tests just guessing

If its multiple choice at least
(and it always is)
You can tell I'm more than fed up with the lack of agency
Developing around our common enemies
Festering, on the bloated *** of this so called society
Becoming a myiasis

And I'll never hear the end of it
From the kids to ugly to earn the extra credit
And from the back half of my grey matter
Turning numb from mindless chatter

But

Society will silently suffer
Burdened down with crowns churning from an endless gutter
Plastic trash meshing poorly, piling into a funeral pyre
Ever burning and choking out the fat-*** cooperate liars

No wonder gas mask production is up
As I'm getting ready to upchuck my lunch
Sorry for getting stuck, or regressive
But batter up, ****, get ready for restoration

Claiming good as bad
With every passing fad
Distracting all my would be comrades
Zombify the undergrads

I don't have time for mindless upheaval
And replacement

Just for a time
I thought it might be nice
To hold onto something fleeting
Something outside my might

Like, a few notes played over ivory keys
Plastic and pristine as they still seem
Can make something change for a day or so
There's something to be said about the whole
Being more
Than the sum

Old grounds
Older groundskeeper
Feeble and perturbed
A victim of himself
And his age

Mental anomaly still feels fine
Tiny little levers getting flipped around
Creating new demons to exorcise
But barring sudden
Static shock
It might as well happen

Can't change
Won't change

It would happen anyway

****

I haven't felt too happy, as of late
Questioning just how long to wait
Before dropping off the map
A whole new life tempts and attracts
Closer and closer

Drifting into the unknown
****, the magic only comes around once
Barring me out
Leaving me stuck
Bricked up the ways in which I've come
To each new dead end
Hungry for change
But unwilling to amend

And I don't know why this world keeps turning
Tried and true
As I keep burning through
Exhausting words, and things to prove

This is expository in nature
Hang on tight

Serenity of life
Gray skies for the choices I
Find time to make
Right up until the rain
Comes down
Real time precipitation
For the sole reason
Of flooding my soul

Charging the clouds
With negative energy
Eventuality says they'll burst
Sooner or later
And as the water flows down to the earth
Then up and over my teeth
Nearly up to my shoulders
Growing ever higher
Ever getting closer
It was all inevitability

Trying to change the sky
Is slowly ******* killing me
With every single storm
That rolls by

Its beyond me
And you too

Too soon

When will I be taken?
Who can tell
But hell, if I don't know when
When time itself never began
**** estimations, and **** plans

One way to escape

We all know the way

A darkened cave
A lonely overhang

No one dares approach for
Fear of going missing


There's so much more I wanted to say
Words and phrases before
I made my final escape
This cave I know
May be too cold
For The embolden spirits
Who hold on dearly to
Earthy merit

But know this
No one will be missed
In a minute

Constriction is the missing key
To make subversion fleece through
Floss papers and faux notes
Knowing that no one would notice

But holy god if
Removal of all
Restraints and due process
Didn't make for some ****** up ****

Then it came full circle
If you ask me
Everyone is far too unnecessarily
Coy
All I can say is, whats the ******* point?

I swear, no one says what they mean
To protect whatever little
Artistic integrity
They might have left
Or drummed up in a futile attempt
To capitalize on a parasitic and spastic
Completely arbitrary meteoric rise

Like

I heard a song on the radio
That felt like static
******* why
Did someone take the time
To write lyrics
So insipid
Intrinsically missing
Every point attempted

Then second guessing
And cross guessing
And ******* up
And overdressing

Every single
******* word

And there was only like
Ten
Of them in the song anyway

Someone once said
I was far too blunt
And I should try and dance around my points

So I took out my thesaurus
Flipped straight to the word ****
And made it clear I didn't give a ****

I got eighteen cigarettes stuck in my cake
Strike a light, set the mood just right

Take a deep breath and
Remember that
You had no happy ending planned
And no true fans

Doomed to fail?
Hell yeah

Hell...
Yeah, looks that way

It don't matter
Have another slice of cake

Flash forward a breakdown or two

half stacked crack addicted hazmat wearing fascist can all get ******
You'll never find me dealing in
Toxic ****
Another ******* psychotic
Mind altering
Falling out
Of fake ideas
And hateful misanthropy
Dancing around my issues
With a ******* smirk

I hate self reflection, and
I want to slap the living **** out you

But don't want to wind up in jail...

I did it for the internet
Strange comment from the man
With a master plan
Scribbled sloppily on the back of his hand
Stammering out some candy words
With a sour edge made painful
By his ****** up head
Wedding his best friend
Happy ending
Till they all die in a house fire

The end.

****
Can't believe I'm still here
It's been a crazy couple of years
Crazy in the scene, now I'm going crazy
Innocence taste
Just as good as it once did

Just like they once did
Took some ****
Now I couldn't ******* dream of
...

It

It being above me
Somewhere
Why the hell did no one seem to care?..
So self aware
Of my brainwaves
In this cramped and damp space

Dullards are lucky
****
I wish i could pick up a sawed off
And get these kids
Of my **** lawn
Then blow my brains
All before the break of dawn
And the break of my fast
I fasted change

Turns out all i got to eat
Is beans and toast
****, I guess i'll starve then

Back to the wall
Covered in  faces
mocking me
I know it
Show the rest of yourself
Then the youth you
Use as an excuse for good health
Won't do you much good
This is my neighborhood
Down here all alone

*******
I wish this house was a home
This grass could grow
Up my ankles
I'm as thankless as angles
With *******
Just missing some grace
Or some ****

Rest in piece, more like
(Heh)
Rust in place



I'm so alone....

I had the dream again
Last night

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paintings of life still dancing in my head
Bright light fading
Pouring orange hues and dull yellow rays
Cascading down over earthen tones
Dark green grass masking over
Thick as the leaves blowing in the summer breeze

That was how the sun set
Just a few feet outside my window
A view tailored just for me
For a moment

Blades slowly turning
Endlessly circling
Watching the shadows emanate from their continuation
I know

Blowing ever cooling air into my room
I never thought it would end
But the light faded
And what was left weighed heavy on my eyelids

Eyes shut, I found myself
Slipping further and further into the state
Between life and death itself
No longer aware of the confines of fate

Above me, shackled in place
Slanted up, ever out of grasp
Yet, constricting in my space
dissipated, pulling back a mask

My soul was glowing
Eyes closed shut
Flowing freely out of my self
Motionless and clear cut
So well defined
Hung wrong side up
Arms outstretched from my sides

Blissful and permissive
Opened, floating still
Serenity surrounding

Basking in the glow
Traced back to my window
Seeping over the sill
Across the blades of my fan
Blowing life into my form
New motion brought to life
Free of scorn, near reborn
Suspended above my comatose
Form

And what I found
There
On a summer night
Unaware
Of the world outside
Outside of what
I could see
Was what I have come to terms with
A whole other side of me
And from that moment
I have derived something

A feeling
      I'm not convinced
Anyone else has felt this

Just a kid
Probably could have missed it
And from what I think now
Ideals forming around
Negative spaces
And people or places

But ****** if I don't
Still think about
How it felt
To be that kid in his room
With the light
Fading through
A window fan

This **** is gutting up
Cutting up my gut
Like I give a ****
No, it's because I left just about everyone
Flailing around in my dust

I must confess
Swiftly address the constant droning
Running down the last seconds
It's such a mess
But what I meant to say, is
I hate the way I don't remember much of anything
Anymore

I see a new face
******* a
This disgrace never passes away
Like, did you not get paid?
Turn one eighty
Brand new face
Turn one eighty

Another new face

Keep mocking me, we will see
Who stands at the end
Of the **** you apprehend
Or keep
Fiend on the mend
I've all but exhausted my friends
Reserves running low
But holy god am I hopped up on
Battery acid

Classy eyes biding all the while

Stairs twisting around the snare
Bound up in an armchair
Executioners chariot

I came down from there
And became entrenched
Overcame the odds
Survived and now
I feel so odd
Or out of place
This newfound age
Is too ******* strange

I can no longer move my arms

I could never go the same way I came

There is no more hope of progression

Will of the world
Freedom for all
God given right. To ****. Them all.

Now we go

It's time to fall
Right out of line
It's time to go

We go

Round and round on the circle
Live by and die
For what
This force
Drives home

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷
Music box ticks out a song

Then stops

Wind it back up
÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Just like
The lamb
I came
Blind and mute to the slaughter
The same

The same way

As it goes

It's just the same
There is

No longer hope

Round and round on the circle
We live and die
For what
This force
Drives home

Pouring my
Iron down into the mold
It glows
Across my face
My hands
They quake
And as it sets
I can start to see

My
Face

Round and round on the circle
I watch them go
Living to die
By the hand
Of a force
Bringing them home

And it's not much of
A strech
Ive come to second guess

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷
The music box shatters

Deep inside me something feels chains crawling all along its back.

A holy pilgrim downtrodden
I once saw the face
A goal clear, a path to take
No fear
No hope of fame

But never felt better

Now
Every single breath i take is leaving me sedated
I know just what home i'm looking for
And i know just how to make it
Mix up life, ****** up this time
But living isn't going to save it

Out of hate, white hot embrace
There's something here to entertain me
Finding time to reconcile
Dripping good will through an iv
A passive medication to alleviate the vile

New crime wave
Time to turn around
Its far too late
To take the fathers crown
A symbol of atrophy
Status reanimate in head space
Living through the air waves

God knows that its far too late

Decrepit in the negative
And that's the way you'll find me
Dead inside or otherwise
Becoming like a zombie
Staring at a color or
Listen for a note
To hit upon a heart-string
Played out, made up like an over coat

We live between the times
The time is stated
Above the waking world
Come guess what thread i'll next unwind
Hanging in the vacuum of a fragile state of mind

I am lonely
Yeah

It's fine.

House party
Heart attack

I need some ******* air

Alright, (gasp)

Card game over breakfast
Solitaire

Unsure of what to choose
In regards to the near future
Grin and bear it
For the kids, I guess
The whatever friends I somehow amass

Hit the road
No point in checking
My reflection
Too undecided

Preheat the oven
Getting baked

Sky's gray
The way I like it
Half a smile earned

Turn a corner and regret it
Feelings are too sensitive
In that
They get shattered
And splinter up my gut

**** it

Whatever

Half way inside
Biding my time
Leather jacket
Smells like grass
Fresh cut cut-ups get drowsy

I'm barely sentient myself
Don't think about hell itself
Not that much thought crossed
That welcome mat

Laugh along
All a death tome
Singing dead songs
Getting high on
One human or another

Smoking me out

Of the house

Sky is dark now
Just how I like it
Another half smile

Looking past
I see the lights
Same lights blinding some other guy
Somewhere the sky isn't so perfect

Here, the lights blinding me
Are all around
Clowns, the lot of them
annoying....

So glad i made it
So glad to see
You didn't die inside your house
And could show up to my party
To validate me
I'd sooner berate you and your
Guest

Ugh

How you can live live
So depressive
Then bounce back with
Idiots
Crowding up the place

Beyond me

Anyway
Stopped by to drag doubt
Through the place
And show my face

To much disappointment
I guess I expected
As much

Route the dark in light
Ducking down
Masonic freedom fighter
Tend to rend the holy crown

Chalice overflowing
When did this cup pass to me
Empty vessel wrestled from a twine
Entwined fate
Engorged ball of hate
Flattening the gluttons
I've seen it all
Its never right to Intermediate
Limb of light
Invigorated, left unchecked
Balances precariously
Between the seance of death
And the scorn of the righteous
Overbearing and meaningless
And still it beckons

To walk a thin line
Is to take everything in stride
The same stride
We strove for

Through every long night
Waist deep in the sin
Crying out internally
Giving everything to win
Starving on the battlegrounds
Carving up and laying down
Doubting every action
Stained by affliction
Destined to persist

Slaying anything

Monster...
Demonic...

Only light escapes

I saved you once

Implanted in my mind
Harder to find than you might admit to
The pinnacle of existence
I can see, as you can see
You're far from blind
I know you've seen my truth
Reflective persistence

I'm not trying to bug you
But I've got what you're missing
As you're fishing for something
Somewhere inside you
Take a look

I might as well be an open book
With false pretenses
Ill make amends
And tend to the gaping wounds
Limbs rotting off

The soft landing is to get sawed off
You head case
Its so cold alone
On the floor
Something new is just in store

Open up
The time is soon approaching
Dramatic I know
But either I stay, or I've got to go
I'd hate to leave you in this state
But you've got to have it some type of way

I can feel it too
Burning down the back of my throat
Gagging on reality
Mortality is such a joke
Poke the bear
To get mauled
Fallen off

...

I've still got you
The true one you
Cannot live up too

Still in my mind
Still biding my time

Instructions unclear

Uncommon is not a word I often choose
Over zealous usage has left it maladjusted
I feel too frustrated and abused
Fear the fearful and ****** the transmute

In terms not so blatant

Put it on the back burner
Pack it up and go home
For a moment
Calculate the risk in ******
Before you know you'll be encroached

You're killing it

And yourself as well
Although I'm not convinced you see it
I know your will is right, heart straight as an arrow
But strung up on the wrong bow

And swiftly you'll be deadly
buried in  the things you used to know
People die and turn to snow
To bury you alive
And leave you feeling cold
It might hurt to take a knife

I know

Your back is riddled
As it goes
But hold on tight
I see the rope
Is burning bright
But flames drive back
The dreary nights
And warming up, going up in flames

Avoid

Blowing up, reaching out in vain

Endless as the days
Ticking clocks all look the same
Hear them spelling out your name

Is this the way it stays?

Parishioners gather around me
God has taken my mind
My god is splayed before me
Forming dust from thought in time

The ones like us

The ones, they've never come up
And all the ones, they don't deserve
And I

I don't deserve love

Silently burrow
Burning bright
Guiding light
To find me
The organs groan, than make me high
Each new motion besets me

My god is burrowed into the sand
Mocking me
As I am mocking you

My motives burrowed into mind
And you won't survive me god

Every six months, my thoughts change
Any time is too long
Every hour is droning on
Before I wake up, incomplete

We've cast aside distant memories
God is dead
What was once old is still old
Carry on

Robotic

Antibiotic

Symbiotic

Still we remain...


My newly bothered brothers
And sisters, so lovely
So come with me
Into this night

We are the new vicars
The world will bow
And we are the new gods
The sum of which is god

Getting so lost again in my thoughts
Thought for a while I could find a way
Talk it out, sing it loud, nullify the pain
But the nerves are here, never to fade

Every time that I find myself awake
When I should be unaware
These thoughts keep me in chains

Talking past fringe friends I've never known
Regretting yet again the fact I've staked my claims all on my own

And I need to share
The half of me still self aware
All I want you to see
Is the part of me I'll never be

It all looks so ideal
Staring in a mirror
With a picture of you next to me
A pedestal for all to see

To keep me in a frame
Colored just a tad deranged
From laughing in the pain
Pretending I've  been bleeding just the same

But I've got to say
I'm sad, but it is all a stage
A sliver screen, my own display

Bonds are forged out of a flame
And living has only found me cold
Frictionless and meaningless
Or so I've been told

Somehow, life finds me here, alone

But It won't be long now, and it won't matter so much

Can you belive it?

Belive me when I say
I used to trust myself
In any way
This silver cord is shorter
Now I've all but lost my health

Poor forked forced set of mental blind
Heady terminal path soon to be mine
Grimy iron taste so sublime
Salt water spilling into overtime

(*****)

I hated that
Complete tripe
*******, ******* subjective

Yeah, I AM glad you died
Like, in a present for my future
It's all mine, you...

It is all mine.

Low end rent roach
Bring around the stage coach
Pick myself a lane

*******

It sounded like a gunshot
Ripping through an open door
I never know what I want
But I've never wanted something more

Don't take me as an insult
Lying on my bedroom floor
Life sounds so simple
Treat me like a mind explored

I hate myself
And I just want to feel alive
I found out all I find
Dies just the same in time

It sounded like a gunshot
Bleeding out for a taste of fun
The wound is looking red hot
I am waiting here for anyone

To survive
Who will make it out alive?

I survived
And now I feel so lonely

Ha

Surprise, its me again
Full frontal, coming up again
Stripping out your mind
You all look just the same
Take your time
How'd you like a name?

Just survive, and you can have it

I want god
I want clousure
All I've ever wanted was to find my own finality

I need death
I need fate
All my life I've lived for a clear path to take

And what I get
All I can find
Is a million blinking lights to pass the ******* time

Won't someone come around
And put me out of my misery?
Don't you know I've been found?
Again?
Again

There's nothing more to gain
From slogging through this pain
And every single road
Is just the same

All I want is something dry
Somthing for the mind
Got anything that can preoccupy?

Theres nowhere to go
And theres no more direction
I'm getting sick of returing to my home


The time is getting late
And I had best be going
I'm gotten tired, searching for my fate

Has led me to the edge
And walked me right back, back again
Back to the roads

Yeah, and every road still looks just the same

Class action
**** the faction, fender bending
Render useless
Car crash contusions
bruised, burnt, alive
Crying from the pain
Pail full of optional rain
Falling unjustly
Criminals mostly understand
Benefits eat up micromanage nymphos
Following photos sold and *******
Getting ****** time and time again
Sawed off block head
Chopping block
Reset
Rest again

Hospital bed
...

I woke up crying

Time to try something new
New age medicine
Stomach out the world
Something out the blue
Moving too much
Shut the **** up
Blunderbuss meets bell
Barely able to hear
Noisy as hell
Death is quite near
Airbag lining
Windbag silence

Far too much

Plastic in my lungs
Wind for the sails
Bailing out the titanic with a pail
Pale, like formaldehyde
Toxin lawsuit

Not a drop to spare

Do you got the time
Nine months to a dime
Rebirth is off the table
Eat the pie (If you're able)
******* mistake
I misspoke
Slowpoke, speed up
Runt
Get stunted from birth
Mirth in the face of change
The fire's still burning
If you'd sacrifice a turn
I'd be more than grateful if you could

Rain on my parade
For a ounce of gold
Cleaning out my brain
And the thoughts untold
Over protective claims
And I'm lying back
Lying bout my name
Just to make it back

Wired shut jaw
I mean that two ways
Split it up right
Money and pain

It never dies but never stays the same
And I must admit I like to watch it change
Cause the world is empty and I am as well
Skipping down to the sound of a funeral bell
But I still love and I'm still alive
Give it time; I'm sure I'll turn out fine
Lonely only in my mind

Something I can't grasp but
Makes me feel so self-aware
A little bit of sorrow
To compliment an empty stare
That never lies
But truth be told, I've paid my fines
And I've never felt better
Than I do when I

Let it all unwind
Ease the burden of my crimes
And hesitate or meditate on what I'll leave behind
Thinking of the end never made it get here any faster
And if I've got to be thinking all the time

Yeah, maybe
Free will is a little bold
Everyone is bought and sold
The sale is final and denial
Never helped out anyway
Maybe living for a dollar is as bad as they say
But make no mistake
I wouldn’t have it any other way

It's often the weak
And seemingly frail
That find themselves thirsty
Beyond the pale

The gutters churn under the strain
Blood rushes down through city veins
The streets ablaze with tinted moonlight
Devoid of any flame

As gods and heathens burn the same
The hearts all pumping without aim
No lungs to fill, and yet still choking
On the meat we flay

The needle drops
The records play
Everyone stops
Praying that the day might break

My iron rusted
Hinges combust, dusk bled
Swung open portal
Stifling chortle I open up
Progressing slowly
In soul or sprit
But running fast and flowing

Over strewn corpse cobbles
Harbinger paver, larder baubles
Stocking lye
Stalking eyes, new crime
Commit to the violence or ****** die
Perish inside then out
It's no use gasping or
Grasping
Stranger clout
 
Each new version a variant curse
Every cursed being awaiting rebirth
New age swift death
My time is little, I have **** all left
Gliding abreast
The beast glisten already
Peeter out slice and grip
My jowls are aglow
Siphoning light from the sky above
The creatures of the dark sky rip
Beneath my leather
Each new stab a death blow

I feast
**** them all
I rip out their ******* guts
And mash them
Flesh blood and bone complete
Cycles though my very being
Tearing rending breaking
Everything
**** these dogs

The heart of the city
A drum
Plucking tendon
Plucky young thing

My weapon is serrated
My steel is ****** already

Identify at once
The words jumble in my throat
Retribution shock
Governing by my ticking clocks
Spewing wind to fill the sails

Empty boats
Floating down
Glinding along gilded banks
Wheat can seldom feed a soul
Only bloat the burdend mind

How does the horizion break?
When did all my buds bloom
Long into the night
And slowly wither away
But never die

Change is mine
And when it comes to me
My will I cannot abide
There will be no sacrifice
I live my life by the dimmest light

The words I could speak
To blow it out
Flowing over the tip of my tounge
But Seldom ever spoken
Silence is golden

And the danger may be closer than it appears
And you'll never know if the end is near
And the ones i loved, cherished and relied most heavily upon
Can slip god through my viens...

And yet the new ones
The immitators I've neglected
Seldom speak to me, irony a bitter curse

And up untill this day, and onwards down the current
the words still escape me

I'd leave a perfect world
by my own virtue it would seldom ever grow
I watched this, your flag unfurl
Never though a match could make me feel so low

I stand and watch it burn
Crushed by the silence you began to show
There is no lesson learned
I walk away, yet you don't watch me go

Step inside see my life from my own perspective
Witness my infanticide
Crumbling cursed, each new notion rejected

I am my one true love
But still infatuation leaves me feeling breathless
Unfit unfaithful holy one
Did you belive you could disconnect me

This city has a gun
Evidence is mounting all against me
Witness the setting sun
Smoking skyline sick, and watch it fall free

Counter terrorist far too late
My toll I took, all I could take
Robbery of the first degree
First degree burns
God you're so **** pretty

There was always a disconnect
This life promises to be full of discontent
And regret
Make no mistake
Every time I set something fake
Into concrete and incased
My free will it was faux
I let my emotion lay low
And now I'm going

Sorry about the mess, man

The confusion collapses around me
A torrent of emotion barreling though members of the crowd
But it only takes a second

Now everything is clear

And....

Honestly
All I ever wanted was to be cut free
Is that as shallow as it seems?
In my heart
I know
No one will mourn
Only regret
For what could of been

You'll never know it
But i fought for you
I worked this breif day away
I sutured the pain
I sewed my mouth
And threw my soul
All of this
To gain or regain

Now no one knows
And yet they care
Or i know they would've
Had they seen me

As this here, or, my world
Is pulled undone and beams of light
Pierce the darkness and my eyes
Lifting up
I've yet so much to do
Help me

Honestly, I've never felt alone
My thoughts keep hitting a depressing tone
Light in life, keep it light
Fear the dark, keep it right
People make me lose my ****
I've long since had my finger on it
There's something to be said about solitude
Mental gymnist mindset feud

I've been fed too much too long
Now its all I can taste
Fall in line or fall apart
The choice; voicless restless ill never make
Structurally sound, yeah maybe so
The footing never lets me down
But walls I cannot abide
Living life or letting die

Can't have it both ways
Shameful
What a **** shame
So ungrateful
Sitting bankrupt, linen table
I won the world and still feel
Like someone somewhere owes me something
Take the second
Grasp it
Something you would have sooner wasted
Self reflect
Can you taste it?

It might not be up to you
But either way you get to choose

Miles and minutes
Trading time for a timeline
I'd rather not finish
Stick it out and ill be fine

Passing space
Metal matter flowing far below me
It must be the high tide I love to race
Encroaching, live for the second

Adrenaline dripline
Barely alive but still doing fine
Seperate my body and mind
Laughing as everyone else, doing their best to undermine

As i stick my wheels to the curb
***** four wheel drive
One more dead end suburb
I lost any reason i had left to strive

But im still right here
I havent moved in so **** long
In the seat of my car
Still hearing the same **** songs

Still partaking in life as it may come
Still drinking gas station pop
I was told the world would pass me by
But turns out my world follows me
And I dont mind
Passing their world by

Space seems so far away
And im still worried about words
Ideas die when action is taken
Stones are broken as we discern
Rebuilding feels so akin
To leaving no stone unturned

And as my temepered glass view finder
Drifts father through the rubble
I can see promise
And i can see the death of each and every one of them

Leaden feet
Soul heavy
Constriction wracks my chest
Eyesight fading out at best

Every step
Burdens me
Drowing out my screams
They don't know what i mean

Cold are we
Faceless sea
The crowd is sundered
With a sound of thunder

Chemical feeling
Rising faster
Black metal plating
Hidden by color

Nausea knowlage
Turning over
Sterile and voiceless
Overpowered

The second freezes and the door explodes
One or two to every home
The crowd plays on
A silver show
And all of mine
are on their own

Masqurade
The masks are on
Every sillable
of every song
The Loss of feeling
I have no doubt
And they are carried off

A few rounds pop off
The music stops
For a split second order holds everyone still as stone
Then my life is taken before my naked eyes
And I wake up here, alone, surrounded by the flock


My heart has been torn from my chest
God give me strength

Under the mantle of this world
The thickness of the storm clouds
Perpetual, thorough
Meeting the foam crest of the waves
Dark enough to hide intentions

Walking along the tired rocky shore
A stretch common, tasteless to all but the vaguest sense
Some spray, felt deep along the sides of the tongue
The sobering corpse, I found
Still clawing at the stones

I can feel the tears well in my eyes
There is nothing I can do
Empathetic thoughts blow through my mind
Cold strains of tainted breath
His voice is cold air, so dissimilar
And with every trace of dogma
Such overused platitudes
Yet I hold fast to that stringent emotion  

He knows me
He knows what I used to be, and what brought me to who I am
I watch him

He tries to pry, bone exposed at the fingertips
Why did this come to me
Remorse
Filled with pity, I bend down
I comfort him

The host burst
And now I feel it
Moving though the back of my skull
It's tendrils become rooted
The eyes see though my own
And it swallows what It will

The desperate remains inside me scream at it
But it's just rotten flesh

And there's nothing left for me
Now and forever

High pitch community
From one single tone
Can go from home
To a killing floor

Made all the more harrowing
Toxic trauma of the mind

Freeze up they said

Yet we push on
And we pushed hard
We pushed it too far
Then let down our gard

And now the lights flicker from green to red
A premonition of bloodshed
Locked inside the voice of
A brother or a friend
Neither one is talking now

Survive it says
Static cuts through
And the line drops dead
Outside my head the night goes on
Cheery faces basking in the light
Permissive out of innocence

Enjoying spite out of spite
Who is right
It doesn't matter
My eyes burn bright
But no one can hear

Screams are echoed all around
But transaction leaves my words devoid
Bliss is heard amiss, above
We coveted and now we pay

The price of our sin

Take my hand
step in time
I am sure it'll turn out fine
just let the current untwine your mind

Every single step takes you closer and closer
With every single breath, you find yourself shoulder to shoulder
with Enimes and friends
With out the evil intent
I guess the stars aligned
And all we say are
we are all the same, in the end

Someone spots you
A jesture or smile
Its been a while, why not smile back?
Some peice of mind might finally come through
I think we both need a bit of good

Trust me, i know the game we're playing
A razor quite thin, the head of a pin
But balancing comes as second nature
Tomorrow we'll still have our chance to win

The lights light faces and faces light
Everyone is one tonight
Crack a smile its been a while
we've got the might
Not to mention will
to take something and dispite
hatred bleeding though
manage ourselves a lovely night

The colors of the glass
Surrounding little suns
Stain our hearts bright shades
We need to let the pain
Wash away

The irony is lost on me
But thats just the way i like it
ignorance is dangerous
but i think you should try it
Hatred fuels this night
But thats alright by me
I dont think ive ever felt so completely free

Venom drips from every cobble
on every corner
of every street
But i think you can do us both a favor
And turn your head as our hearts beat
Intermingled with the rythm
Love and trust the ones you meet

Just for the night
Its all alright

I am scarier as an invitational being
Draw me a context and watch me come to life
Strive with me, we will be friends
Come and watch as unity does commence

Try and wake up in Arcadia
And watch as you lie still
The rings of Saturn turn
And the world turns downright cold

But you won't wake up again

Trust me; I've never been so timid
Every grin grimace is as lifeless as my own
Even our souls have begun to tendril shut
Forward thinking and forward feeling
Did I take you? Sorry, I didn’t mean to

Each breath drawn colder
Each breath taken lightly
Shoulder to shoulder
Beings of all shapes
Beings with minds shaped, molded and singular

They all hunger

For you, one way or another

The eyes once drawn apart
Have found their way together
Right and left
Every breath
Working on into forever
Like it or not
And I'm sure you don’t know
We will surface soon
And then we will float

Try waking up in Arcadia
You will never wake up in Arcadia
The rings of Saturn turn
And the world became void
But the dream is all there is
You have been awake
There is no awareness
I am doomed

In my game everything goes a little better
In my life victory taste a little bitter
Im far too cold to care about the weather
I guess god is right and i am just a sinner

I hope you leave so I can start to miss you
Fearing the world is a step too far
I like to live in a special place of solitude
I guess it helps to wonder where you are

When will the rain come and segrigate
The orgin and the man so intertwined
When did the hateful consumate
I guess i'll leave my identity in mind

And when the times comes
Dont get me wrong, i hope it does too
And when the last chime rings
Dont get me wrong, i hear them too
And when the lights start flickering
Dont misunderstand my state of mind
And when someone comes looking


I'll drag my nails acrost the chalkboard
So i can stay here forever, and create clever pictures

The dreams I have tonight are going to haunt me for the rest of my life
Staying awake is only postponing the inevitable 
I quest for heaven if only for the piece of mind
But it's much too hard to find
And praying is eating up my pride

Living, eating up my time
Dying isn't what I got in mind
But the night draws ever closer
As I'm drawing darkness in my mind

Imaging the pain is far worse or so they say
Living either way is having it no other way
Before the daylight breaks
I'll be a different thing

Self made imagery complicates things
But stains brought on by fear
Morality and what it brings

Resignation known as giving up
But you don't see the end
Trading in the destination
For a life that's on the mend
As you rend your resignation
And resign to a fate
Behold your ******* nightmares come

The amorphous world hates each and every creative soul
Another, I can't name
Except the idols held in such high regard
Excluding the ones I disavow
Save a few, all ideas are below me now
The masses all bleed but not all bleed red
Some bleed black, and some bleed falsehoods.
Our perfect community has more common ground with the enemy than the elitist ground we've come to sacrafice our lives and time defending

If only for the present my perception is less muddled
Before I cloud my mind with hurdles
To Disincentivize
Future fleshing out
Stout lies, watching promises
Fall by the way side
I will rise
I repeat the faster I sink
This elevator ideology is showing no signs
As it drags me to hell
One intention at a time
Marching round in time
Circling, quickening my pace
Winning a race
Invented for me
By people like me
How about you try me
And then we'll see just how deep
Inside me
The mitre has me
The mindset grasps me
And chains around me
Feel soft as feathers

The wings I fly on are burdens beneath my feet
My brothers and sisters hold the keys to my shackles but have mistaken them for unspeakable horrors.