Do you ever wonder
Or get lost in deep thought
What everyone would think
And feel when you're gone
Do you run through scenarios
Inside of your head
What will be the last thing you do
What will be the last thing that you said
I find myself at a crossroads
What legacy can I leave behind

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

Tell me do you ever try to come to grips
With the mistakes that you made
The hurt that you gave
Can you forgive, what if they forgave
Could you forgive yourself
For the pain that you made
And sometimes I lack confidence
Sometimes the self-doubt wins out
Sometimes I'm lost in train of thought
and I can't seem to find my way out

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

I wonder what the effect is I will leave
I wonder will they ever see past the emotions that they read
I wonder what will you see
The day this earth is taken from beneath my feet
What kind of legacy is it I will leave
I hope it's something with meaning
I hope the hurt I left found healing
I hope the hearts that broke
Got completed because of the emptiness I left
I hope that everyone I came across finds happiness
I hope the message I leave have meaning

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Sanny 7d

And he hurt her over and over again.

Instead of saying Sorry, he said I love you.

She fell for it everytime.

But after awhile those words lost meaning.

His actions didn't match the words.

She started to crave something else, an apology.

An apology she never got.

That's what finally made her leave.

To live loving someone who was never sorry for breaking her.

With the sun, you shine.
With the moon, you glow.
You're the treasure I find
Yet you'll never know.

what you mean to me.

For some it may be terrifying,
But for me, it is a great relief,
To know that each event in life
Is neither punishment
Nor a grand plan of destiny
But a free roll of the cosmic dice,
Left to random chance,
Without a meaning they grant
The freedom to choose
The meaning of my own life.
This is what comforts me.
Would you like to roll the dice?

©LadyofRavenhill 6.13.17
thomas Jun 10

In a land before time,
a world made anew
At first all was dark,
the sky not yet blue.

The sun had gone silent,
the rivers were still.
The clouds stayed in place,
the birds, not a trill.

The flowers were greying,
colours losing their vibrance.
When out of the Earth
a laugh broke the silence.

It was a meaningful laugh;
one that inspired and compelled,
it brightened the world
like a carol of bells.

The colour returned,
the leaves green and brown.
The sun began its journey,
the birds resumed their sounds.

All because of one laugh,
one smile, one grin,
That turned over the world
and made it alive again.

This Island sits in ruin
split down the middle, ruined
tune of the howling dog
lost in the fog, black
and brazen beast, hair.

I walk down sunlit streets,
immersed in the solemnity
that is my want. I reverse, rewind
and play it all back, the screams,
the endless chasm of the undertow
lying on the other side of the street.

All God and no religion, all zest without
meaning, It's enough to drive one mad -
it has.

Tracing back memory to find the skin
all I find is a wolf staring back
with hollow hungry eyes, the beast that feasts
at cock of dawn, day by day, inside.

The Island is split down the middle.

The Dog lays leaden over a hung court,
we want a world that makes more sense
but we can't really see it, albeit in
distance, no it's not here.

Yet, the Island is split down the middle.

What's here is the sound of dizzying cries,
the flesh of the innocent burnt for Mamon
the burnt umber of the spirit, it provides no comfort,
none.

I dream of someone or something to pull me out of this
perfect calamity, peace is a world I can scarcely remember -
such pain, such leaden cliches.

Nothing is ever perfect, the Tertiary turning of the screw
the wolf howls and paddles in his boat towards a fresh death.
Whimpering soul of me, drowning in a cup of coffee, lost, afraid
and lacking faith. I swim. Drown sometimes, then resurrect, unfortunate and unwilling Lazerus. Blinking into mortal light.

Each day is another trial, the end seems far away, and close at the same time.
I don't think this one has a happy ending.

Divide by 2, create 1.

The Master’s Hand does craft me so
The Master Plan I do not know
The meaning of this Grand Design
Remains a Figment in my mind

Written in a moment befuddlement. There's not been a lot of time for writing these past few days.
Alexa Rose Jun 8

Desperate times like this call for a distraction.
Feeling wanted and craving some attention.
There's always a price to pay without an education, in the art of seclusion.  
Laying on the couch as he gazed upon me.
Taking in the sight, to his delight
he found me charming.

He told me, "I'm a fighter. I'm a queen."
That he found me particularly fascinating.
"We're not so different you and me,
Which makes you superior when compared to anything."
I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward.
Falling further. Wondering why his smile made me feel so sickening.

I'd be crying as he took me in his arms.
Made me believe he truly meant no harm.
He held me tightly and he muttered,
"If you get any older maybe we could move past heavy petting.
You can't gain experience without experimenting. "

He told me, "I was pretty
And around pretty things don't mind if I get a little touchy feely.
Younger girls fall so very easy. Just don't gain any unwanted feelings,
without them I can still make you feel amazing."
Once again I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward.
Falling further. Unknowingly risking everything.
I felt like nothing when compared to anything.

He'd pull me closer as I started shaking.
Assured me that'd he'd never hurt me and there was no need to be afraid.
He made me feel uncomfortable rather than amazing.
Turns out his words meant nothing.
Still sitting frightened in his lap.
My need for comfort had enticed him so much one day when he just snapped.
And me feeling guilty for doing so, I Innocently asked,
Craving comfort and security, how was I supposed to know?
I'm sorry, that really wasn't my intention.  

He started smirking as he said,
"You really like attention.
Your teasing doesn't pay the bill.
One day you won't be able to shut me out.
And those doors won't stop me from getting in.
Is that so difficult to comprehend?", he threatened.

I was a token of your humor.
I was your stupid little fool.
I was nothing but your prisoner.
I meant absolutely nothing at all to you.
I was stuck within your sheets.
Unable to move forward.
There was nowhere else to fall.
As I was screaming silently, you made me realize
the meaning of nothing meant me.

If I had known all along, that I was backed against the wall,
I would have never wrote this poem.
And I would have fought harder than just screaming, that this feels wrong I think we should stop.

Nathan Wells Jun 7

if you listen hard enough
there's a buzzing,
it's the universe
doing it's thing,
and no matter what we do
to disturb it,
the buzzing will still buzz,
ring ring ring.
the buzzing has always
been there
and the buzzing will
never go,
it's in you, me,
the trees, the worms,
the sky and everything down below.
the buzzing is hard
to describe,
but you can feel it
if you try,
it's what connects everything
to everything else,
from way down low
to way up high.
the buzzing makes
things work,
and the buzzing keeps
us alive,
the buzzing shines sun
on our crops,
and rains on us so
we can thrive.
some people make words
up for the buzzing,
like jesus or jehovah
or god,
and they talk to the buzzing
and ask it things,
which is something
i find odd.
nothing has a meaning
or a purpose,
why something does
what it does,
everything just happens
because it happens
and they happen
because of the buzz.
the buzzing was there
before we were,
and before anything else
was too,
and when we're gone it'll just
look for something else
to send it's lovely
buzz through.

inspired by all my readings on taoism lately

This world is all an empty hole
Eternal falling, I descend
Into the dark depths of my soul
The pathless void that has no end

All blankly white, a blaze of same
Deadly joy that drinks my cries
My fear absorbed to feed its flame
No spot of dark to save my eyes

I’m crushed within the empty space
And powerless to resist
People here in this nothing place
Attacked for daring to exist

Oh lightning, split the solid sky
Make me flash some kind of light
Oh hurricane, come be my sigh
Earthquake, swallow the black and white

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