I’ve been thinking about how one can fully understand the movement of life. How it goes unnoticed to most, slowly killing us. It should hurt, shouldn’t it? A constant moving pain that will eventually lead to some crazy hallucinogenic state of mind and you become the past. In a ball of flaming glory you could go out, and some do. Hopefully me too! Even though I know, it won’t mean a thing! because in the end it keeps going. And you become what’s gone.
I believe many people fear this. This ending of such. Some great men/women feared it. And they decided to be remembered but ultimately in the end, their end, nothing really changes. On the big scale of things they’ve contributed nothing, some of the greatest people you know, absolutely worthless. How can that be?
Because it is.
I don’t know a single thing
I wish I knew how to add correct gramma, and increase my vocabulary. I might just read through some dictionary and the dinosaur. I’ll start with the A’s and read more? X
my hands and thoughts do tremble seeing that which i resemble nasty snarl upon my face reminding me i’m a disgrace furrowed brow and clenching fist intrusive thoughts i can’t resist cowardly i run and hide from everything i keep inside
Lost in a sea of souls I find you hard to miss -familiar- I can’t escape your pull
I flow -not with the wind- But with you Bending air as I go
My whole eternity is you A blue vastness -too great to ignore- From my perspective
I live for you As there is nothing else Quite as magnetic -although, I’m trapped for sure-
My naivete may live on Yet even I ponder The slight trembling in my heart Subconscious, or am I over?
There, a world spilling with ants So small- Yet visible with their feats of humanity -I can see it so clearly now-
Where once there were only specs- Now there lay a myriad of wonders Right before me -the haze clearing-
My confidence often a victim of gravity- So steady hands always pulled me up Right on cloud nine
I no longer feel the softness of those palms- Once my ever-aiding life -safety- I have fallen out of your grasp
The wetness of tears Staining my existence- Yet clearing it all the same I fall as the icy raindrops guide my demise
All hard and true- I must accept my punishment For I have lived on far too long And know much too little
Seeping into reality- I can feel every texture on my skin Every imperfection on the ground -forever taunting me-
Leaving the once continuous cycle- Venturing into the unknown Where-for once- A seed may grow larger than a planter could ever provide
A wild flower- Thriving in a sea of individuality Forever smiling at the sky Despite the abandonment
Although I let myself avoid the truth for years, I had to except it sometime. Unfortunately, that happened much too late- right when everything came crumbling down (much like a cloud-drained of it's rain).