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Nothing ever seems to change.
Prayer after prayer and I'm exactly the same.
Scoffing at the idea that I'll ever be holy.

Ive emptied the contents of my stomach
while kneeling on the floor
As many times as I've been at the foot of a pulpit
But I'm still ******* up and my remorse just doesn't do it.

It's never been enough for me to change.

I confess,
I'm selfish and abusive
to my soul for my amusement.
Nothing ever seems to change.

Burn me alive for ten thousand years
and I'll never change.
My regrets haven't meant a thing.

I can't accept that I'm this selfish
but my heart isn't whole again.

Each person affected for my brief moment of pleasure.
Not joy, not love, not need. - Just pleasure.

I want to be better.
I swear I just don't know how.
Someone please show me how.
Because my prayers are bouncing off the shower walls.
the past couple years since I've written anything Ive been really testing my wife and her limits. Ive been accused of awful things and lost my job based on both correct and incorrect information. I'm spiraling and I'm ashamed of they way I've acted and treated loved ones and total strangers simply because I am selfish. This poem isn't necessarily intended to be my best work or even to be "good" by anyones opinion. It's the best way I know how to communicate the fact that I realize my past mistakes over the last 4 years and can't seem to shake the immaturity or the just awful, sinful, and evil nature in my heart. I wish I was a normal man with normal issues that I could hide, but being exposed and judged by people who used to respect me and I long to have a relationship with again has destroyed me. I don't want to be known for the things I'm known for by people I used to look at as brothers. I also don't want to be thought of the way I am by total strangers and people who I haven't spoken with in years. This is unfortunately what happens when I acted out in disgusting ways without considering the consequences it would have on my life and more importantly the people who I involved.
I don't think I even know what love is but:
I love you.
Holy justice,
just dying.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uz4mYD_bGtc
Serendipity May 23
I cupped your face
and my hands stung
because you knew
what it meant
to be
holy
she once had stars on her eyes that could light up the way back home without the moon helping out

and she once had a fire on her heart that could warm up even the coldest night with just the touch of her fingertips
~
but the stars were ripped out
and the fire burned out
~
now all she has are a broken pair of wings and a tainted halo

and her forsaken form walks the streets of a land she doesnt know


but oh, dear,
she has never felt more alive than she does on earth
sinful; wicked.
onlylovepoetry Feb 2018
why my existence was just one unending question?

even in the formless and endless pitch black (his HP alias),
could hear Him smile and communicate:
if not You, then who?

We love your dreams where answers run wild like an
Oregon waterfall,
only you understand that the whole world encapsulates into:

love thy neighbor as thyself!

which must be recited as a poem
standing on one left leg

then, smiling,
god extended his only finger, touching each of mine eyelids:

sleep, friend for we need your questioning dreams,
your faith unfurled and unfulfilled
for in your unending inquiry
is all of our
in the beginning, our anti-matter rooted creation,

the Holy Dark
2/19/18 3:06am
http://www.seraphicpress.com/rabbi-hillel-on-one-leg-me-too/

n the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
did this poem just write itself, is more needed?

every day is holy, you just need to reason why!

could it be:

laundry day, a fresh starting, a new cleansing sparking

stroking her face, squeezing her apple cheekbones, smile extracting

making kissing her forehead, caressing her thumb knuckle, into a weapon of holy war

early to rise, coffee maker man, a saint she declares, from night risen

tracing her heart’s shape with a memorizing fingertip, transferable
to your own graying forested chest

happy new day, an everyday celebration; Happy Lockdown Day!
Ayodeji Oje Apr 16
What you pant unaware is God
Only He can give you the desired sabbath
Stop feasting on what will never fill you
The life you seek is in the man of Galilee
Him alone, else you're already alone

Depend not on my widow's mite
What if I am blown away right away
The wind of winds is surer than the sun in summer
Wait not for my pat at your cold shoulder
You've got Yahweh's life insurance

Swallow your raised shoulders this very second
Jesus' embrace awaits your coming
Be not ashamed ,
Take that leap
He knocks at your ***** and broken door
Come,
O come to Christ!
Bluebird Apr 14
The Gods watch us
Pray to us

Our fragile bones
carry them
Our beliefs
make them

They worship us
for we are the golden blood
which runs moves through their veins

We will always be holy
The beutiful impermanent nature of being mortal
Ayodeji Oje Apr 14
In the infallible word
christ is revealed as the sovereign lord
even countless of warlords
bow to his sovereign words

In the patriarch's days
he moved in diverse ways
indeed he's the only way
no matter what blasphemers say

The holy scriptures
paints one key picture
of how those who endure will feature
in the grand future
At the corner of my eye
A large, colorful butterfly
Lands on a flower bush
In aggravation, I shush
The brutal wind
And open my mind
To the thought of
My angel above
Ever so holy
Watching me closely
Through the beady eyes
Of the butterfly.
Thoughts?
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