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Zywa 1d
We are tirelessly

looking for ourselves, all time –

with quarrels and ***.
Dagboek “Allesverpletterende – Faxen aan Ger” (Diary “All-crushing – Faxes to Ger”, 2019, Nicolien Mizee)

Collection "Out of place"
I feel like I have to steal myself from you

but it doesn't even matter
because you make me believe that
that's all I need

stolen pieces you've given 'permission' for me to steal

like I don't still have me

an impossibility
a dream

does it even matter
I will always have me
does it even matter
Emily Jun 5
“till death do us part.”
little did i know,
i died the day i said
“i do.”
Zywa May 30
Things you throw away

say quite a lot about you –

Be silent, listen.
“Asman” (“Binman”, 2020, Nyk de Vries)

Collection "After the festivities"
Katia Arkasa May 27
The secrets I buried
When you come to visit
The house I built

You see the wild gardens
Filled with Roses
Strong from blood and sacrifices
Simply beautiful to your dulled naked eyes

You'll sit in my living room
Have a smoke and ask where I got my pillows
As ghosts walk through and stop to look at you
The warmth of the fireplace holding you tight

You'll walk to my bedroom
Tell me you love the sweet sticky smell of candles I lit
The feeling of the covers, my skin
The little fairy lights that cover my ceiling

But you don't know the monsters in my closet
I can't show you the bones that hold up this grieving refuge
My pain and decay under the foundations
You will never know

You are a guest
I'm so tired of people being insensitive and apathetic towards others' plights when they talk to me. They assume because I am happy now that I did not suffer before. That I was never a victim in the hands of those they so easily brush aside or worse, justify. They do not know what it took to build myself. But I cannot tell theem anyway, they will never understand.
clmathew May 26
~Can someone just hold me?
Don't fix me, don't try to change me
Can someone just know me?
Cause underneath, I'm broken and it's beautiful

—"Broken & Beautiful", Sung by Kelly Clarkson. Written by Steve Mac, John Mcdaid, Alecia B Moore, Marshmello

Are you like me?
written May 25th, 2021

I look for
reflections of myself
in the world
that aren't apologies
or clinical definitions of hurt
more than
an easy cliche in a song
but it is a start.

I listen to songs
read books and poems
watch tv shows and movies,
when I see a hint of familiarity
I get so ****** excited
"Are you like me?!?
No? Sorry, my bad."

So I keep looking
trying to be brave
making expeditions into the world
while holding close
the book I find
the people I know and knew
who know me.

I don't tell anyone
what I am looking for
leaving it up to chance
hoping that fate
will bump us together
long enough to find out

Are you like me?
That song bothers me a bit. I would never create something that was broken intentionally. It's far from an ideal way to live life, but since I am this way, I need to find the beauty in it. I need to find people who can hold me and know me. Go listen to the Kelly Clarkson song. The depth of her voice makes that song.

Of course I love so many people who aren't like me, and there are people who know me who aren't like me, but I want to see myself somewhere in the world. Thank you to the artists who write themselves for the world to see.
Zywa May 22
Everything changes,

and I, do I like to be

different? – with you?
Collection "Mastress"
I have identity
You have identity
Your identity
My identity
Not identical
There's a tolerance
So there's resemblance
My identity resembles
Your identity
I can replace you
For my resemblance
Inclusive your semblance
You can't replace me
For your resemblance
Short of my semblance
This is what makes the difference
Let me love you
Change your resemblance to include my semblance
You can replace me
We become interchangeable
Your identity my identity
Love to bind us to infinity
One soul
In two bodies
Samara May 14
walking away-
i lay down my arms
awaiting the cease fire
you never call.

my eyes are open
& it'll never change
yet i still wait

& i'm standing still now
embracing the bullets you
throw my way-
the ones you call good intentions
but they hurt me all the same

is it a thrill how
each passes through me
and leaves an empty space
as they go

you can see through me now
yet i wonder why
you never stop asking
me what's wrong

what's wrong
is that there's nothing
left of me
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