Every I'm sorry is like a a piece torn from my soul
The vibrancy is dimmed just a little
Every I'm sorry I have to give you
Is giving a piece of me
I didn't want to give
Because I'm sorrys are like your gasoline
They keep you moving
You crave them
You accept them but want more
But you don't know what you're taking
You don't know that you're taking my freedom and locking me in
Because each one puts me in the wrong
Every I'm sorry is an admonition of guilt
For a crime I may not have committed
But it's easier to confess and take the hanging
Than be tortured
I have lost track of time,
Entered into the state of oblivian,
Trying to make words rhyme,
Repeating words that are written,
Same old drama in my mind,
My heart is love stricken...still,
Smd way I cannot find,
Throught darkness I trot,
The light at the end of the tunnel,
Is farther then I thought,
And it goes far and far away,
Taking my hope with it,
The only companian,
Is the darkness,
Something I'm afraid,
Words and a book and pen,
And the many voices in my head.
I saved you once
Implanted in my mind
Harder to find than you might admit to
The pinnacle of existence
I can see, as you can see
You're far from blind
I know you've seen my truth
I'm not trying to bug you
But I've got what you're missing
As you're fishing for something
Somewhere inside you
Take a look
I might as well be an open book
With false pretenses
Ill make amends
And tend to the gaping wounds
Limbs rotting off
The soft landing is to get sawed off
You head case
Its so cold alone
On the floor
Something new is just in store
The time is soon approaching
Dramatic I know
But either I stay, or I've got to go
I'd hate to leave you in this state
But you've got to have it some type of way
I can feel it too
Burning down the back of my throat
Gagging on reality
Mortality is such a joke
Poke the bear
To get mauled
I've still got you
The true one you
Cannot live up too
Still in my mind
Still biding my time
Am staring to get confused.
It Hurst not knowing what to do.
A pass that I don’t know if to let go.
Different emotions going tour my mind and soul.
They're a lot of good and bad memories going that the same time.
Screaming out loud inside my mind.
Feeling that I can't escape from a pass.
How can I stop feeling the way am feeling?...
Trying to scream for help!
But am afraid to get judged.
For still wanting a pass love.
as of right now
i am lost
i am in an abyss
and i dont know if i want to be found
i dont know if i want to be saved
as of right now
i am sand
the waves keep on running through me
one second i am a fresh made castle
the next i am laying flat with water and salt
and i dont know which one i choose to be
I know that I have killed myself a thousand times in my head,
Never fully grasping the concept of leaving.
I do not know when the thoughts started,
I guess they've always been there,
Whispering and taking turns rotting my brain into the landfill of decay and broken thoughts.
No longer the pink fleshy muscle that sat presently in my head.
It had turned to tar,
Black and thick,
Suffocating the light away from the open cracks where creativity once flowed through.
Unfathomable, the thought of dying, ceasing to exist.
What have I become?