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JKM 5d
How can you have this effect on me?

You make me overthink
You lead me to confusion
You give me mixed signals
I don't know what's going on

You don't ignore my chats
But you don't reply fast
You say you'll lend an ear
But always shuts your mouth

You tell me your okay
That you're fine and you can manage
But I know deep inside
You're just afraid out of your cage

I told you that it's fine
That I'm here and I'll listen
I'll wait 'til your okay
To get out and speak your mind

That's why I'm waiting, and waiting
I'm waiting 'til you talk
Because I want to hear you
In your heart I want to walk

But it feels like I'm waiting
For something that'll never come
And instead of saving you
I'm slowly falling down

I'm afraid of what's happening
Heck I'm even terrified
What will become of me now?
If in your darkness I'm petrified

I want to listen to you too
To hear your darkest little thoughts
To reach great depths in your water
And in your maze be a little lost

You make me feel indescribable feelings
Make me act in an unfamiliar way
Make me wish upon shooting stars
And make me speak words I dont say

I was intrigued by your mystery
Captivated by your smile
But what really kept me hooked
Is the sadness in your eyes

I want you to lean on me too
Like how I lean on your shoulder
But even though you're not pushing me away
You're not fighting to keep me either
Sam 5d
I'd like to think precisely
about my goals.
How I could reach it
or how I could do it.
But there are these doubts
living inside of  me.
Saying I can't,
I shouldn't,
I'd lose it.
I hate it this way.
Having a query with myself
and getting confused over
a simple silly thing.




21, Copyright © 2019
Sam N. de la Rosa
All rights reserved.
This is the 2nd piece from my poem collection called 21. It's already published in wattpad app. My user is @SAM-DLR. Feel free to read it there if you want.
Pupils gaze into the sun, I am stunned,
Unearth the power of Raa in your eyes,
Revel! As we lay for long hours, sunned
To death in the warm embrace of your fires.

As we wrap our lives around each other's
Souls as stinging nettles cradle soft skin,
Our life embers trickle, rumbles, smothers-
Nothing. Just- blood. Scars, filth under cover.
And you tickle the hair under my chin...

Time swells and the kind universe cradles-
I can't- stomach this ******* orange juice anymore!
I choke on the bits, I told you before,
How many times- and where is that *****?
What do you mean- “Lucy has gone before”
Good Lord, where has that ***** gone now. That *****-
Cotton wrapped ‘round faithful fairy fables—
Grandad? Is that you? What did you send me for?

This dream bred a silk no spider could weave,
Heavenly nirvana, none could conceive...

You. Child like, notions of freedom. So naive,
Your ****** up little attitude is hard to conceive.

Lucy? Lucy, is that you? -You ***** tease!
I am confused, did you drug me again?-
I shall follow wherever you may lead...
-You’re no better than when you’re on your knees-
Don’t leave me, like a little frightened Fen...
Just ask and I should spend my life on my knees.

My light is yours to – blank –

Tie the rope to the tree and ******* hang.

Lucy must be with Grandad, that’s why I
Can't find them- can't find my love- my bee.

How long until this moment passes by
Lucy, do me the Honour. Marry me.

Lucy?

Lucy.
So I watched the penultimate of Bojack Horseman season 4, and wow, I am pretty sure I have PTSD. Anyway, the episode inspired me. Here is a poem about dementia.
यूं सोचता हूं में..
खुद से पूछता हूं में..

आखिर क्यूं आपको पुकारने की ख्वाहिश होती है?
क्यूं जगते रहें वो पहर जब दुनिया सोती है?

वोह लकीरें क्यूं मिटे भला, जो बुलंद कल थे?
नज़दीकियों के पल क्यूं खामोशियों में बदले?

आपकी नाराज़गी भी मिल जाए, हमें वे मंज़ूर है
मगर बर्दाश्त नहीं होता जो आप हमसे दूर है

इश्क़ में की हुई गुस्ताख़ी भला क्यूं ना माफ हो,
जब आशिकी में डूबते हुए के इरादे साफ हो
I think at times..
Question myself at times..

Why do I wish to call you?
Why do I keep awake at the hour when the world sleeps?

Why should these lines fade, that were so distinct yesterday?
Why have the moments of togetherness turned to those of silence?

If your only response to me would be fury, I would gladly accept it
But I cannot seem to endure this distance between us

Why cannot a fault made in love be forgiven,
if the one to blame had intentions that were honourable?


-x-

Pulled an old one from my diary, because I have so many unfinished ones now :(
Sam 6d
It's horror to find things confusing.
At first it was easy.
Second, it was hard.
The third time was a mess.
What else to find in the end?
Neither you nor me
has the knowledge to know the outcome.



21, Copyright © 2019
Sam N. de la Rosa
All rights reserved.
I published my book just recently in wattpad app so I'll be posting every poems from that book here once a day. I wish you a thoughtful reading!
Sylph Oct 5
What is love?
A emotion? is it a want or a need?
is it something everyone meets somewhere in life?

What is love?
A problem? or  dream come true?
I guess its all in how you look at it

I see it as a opportunity
You could accept it or deny it
                     Everyone sees it differently
I know its not like this now...Nostalgia really took hold though. I found this in a old notebook i had from when i was 9-10 or so...Really hits home to think about. How lost i am in life and confused in general...Especially when it comes to love. Im still trying to learn how to like everyone else. Hardest part right now is the difference between love and lust..
Robin M Vaux Oct 5
To my future
A frontier of fragments
fallen and fooled forfeit
To my faith
Fibbing for flesh
Soon finding forever
Needs not a fulfilled fervor
To my friend
A flagship of failures
for each other’s fears
To my (very) first
Finding a farewell
To fit the feeling
of factual flaws
Forever fighting you
over face values
Forgiving less and less
at which point we forget
how to fix us.

**** this ******* hurts
You do not need to ask for forgiveness when this is what needed to be done. I love you and I just wish I could have fixed what you could have later forgiven.

The fault is mine
Brad post Sep 29
Where are you going,
and where have you been?
How long have you traveled,
never finding the end?

How can you keep moving,
towards the nothing you see?
How’d you become a prisoner,
yearning to be free?

When did you realize,
nothing mattered anymore?
When did the clarity hit you,
that it didn’t matter before?

When did the hate,
take control of you?
Guiding your actions,
and all that you do.

When did the darkness,
begin to creep in?
Consuming the light,
that used to shine within.

When did you decide,
to stop living your life?
Each day as painful,
as a fresh cut from a knife.

There has to be more,
I’m just afraid that there’s not.
My hope has dried up,
and I’m scraping the ***.

So what do you do,
when your mind kills your heart?
When you’re so overwhelmed,
you don’t know where to start.

If you should find answers,
then please let me know.
Until then I’ll keep in the hurt,
and try to not let it show.
viola Sep 27
tonight feels heavy
my mindsets deadly
how do I change?
I am tired of playing this game
chasing after something
that I am afraid doesn't exist

I am angry
I am sad, confused

when do the clouds clear?
when will my cherry checks dry?
tears constantly fall from my eyes.
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