oni 1d

its always there

sometimes
i get so happy
that i find myself
sad
again

how is it
that two things
that are so different
are so connected?

Breathe steady,
Let the wind stay to your back
Catch your breath
And now,
Just walk

The world can beat against us
Just keep walking
Vent
Yell at the world for what it did to you
But keep walking

Two laps later you can stop
But we aren't there yet
So keep going
Till you can't catch your breath
And your steps start crossing each other

Laugh your ass off,
Then play a little guitar
Just hope for the best
Because times are changing
And we have to learn to take a hit
All of us

After one good night, I watch silence creep back in. I'm getting lost, and I'm alone at this point.

I have squandered so much energy
hoping to understand you,
that I regretfully left none for myself,
and anything learned is naught;
next time leave me a blank letter
since that gives more substance
than simply walking away.

Tired man, so tired. Nothing makes sense.
unnamed 4d

I can’t say there is a word for what we are
I know I was looking through your pictures yesterday
Laughing at how cute you look
Wanting to tell you which ones you look bad in,
And how others do not make you justice.
Kissing you and the non-stop laughs
Make fun of the fact that we are fatties.
Driving to McDonalds at 1 am.
I have a feeling it is going to hurt.
But when I am in your room, on your bed
Not being able to keep our hands off each other.
It is complete bliss.
We have amazing sex, you know it’s true
We take a break and go at it again.
And then you open up about the things you love
Like those nerdy topics of things I do not understand
But, your whole face lights up while you talk.
And you apologize for speaking so much.
Don’t ever apologize again
Don’t ever shut up.
Please keep talking,
Until we meet our end.

I only follow yet I pack alone.
Preparing to venture to the unknown.
Travelling from the true bliss of comfort
to the lonely nostalgia of fear.

I pack the discordant pieces of me,
hoping to maybe find their harmony.
Travelling alone requires no effort,
the opposite true for finding love sheer.

I bring the glasses which help my sad sight
wanting them to shed on courage some light.
Travelling in fear just finds land desert,
needing the warmth of others to stay here.

Warm clothes may suffice for some time unknown.
Though my case may seem rather empty it
remains completely full of cautious hope
to avoid living melancholy dreams.

1st Poem
Ami Shae Apr 13

This is so unusual
so explicitly unreal
I'm not sure I like this lay out
this site--
can I be free to say how I feel?
Some how it just doesn't feel right
Is it okay to wonder
if ever I will again
feel at home here?
I hope someone can help me
to overcome my fear...

I've been away and even when I tried to come back here, I couldn't get onsite and now I can get on and everything is so different!
What happened?
Just curious if anyone else
feels like they've found themselves on the wrong road? lol. Eeek! I'm so confused!

What do you all think? Is it better? Worse? Indifferent?
Just curious.
Should I stay?
crystallaiz Apr 10

lights in our northern souls
we chew peanut butter sandwiches
and contemplate our existences
the future is sticky
and the past is honey-brown
that glues our teeth together
we swallow our words
and drown in the light

lovely.
S Apr 10

and as i tap on my keyboard making noises unspeakable i notice that
somewhere between the Y and the I is a U, and I wonder why apple would set up such a cliché
a metaphor I would want to use in times like this where my writing is vulnerable and uncouth
i can’t even be angry with you, against you pressing on your V line since
i knew the movie was bad
i mean i just knew it as soon as the VCR sucked in the thick, boxy, tape
that this film was going to be just like the others— immature and messy,
you were unable to articulate the simplest of my sentences

insert line here

you didn’t even look new, you weren't even an opportunity
you told me you were willing to be the elevated beam in my single music note that we would create harmonies even my mother would like to hear
but she hated you
and you didn’t understand why I liked Bach more than Mozart, or why I didn’t like Mozart at all
you weren't a gentleman, but I am beginning to think those don't exist until well into our 30s
when our hearts are tender enough to feel empathy
you don’t deserve a poem, or the image of heaven

the capital letters you rained in my text messages made my eyes open a little bit wider
i went to cvs and i bought the twix the blanket and the booze
we used to do that together
asian men still write me poems for the morning, i walk out of dorm rooms with water that never knew the cold
and my head it; pounds from dehydration, its been a while since I’ve been in love
but some us are
in love i mean
the dumb ones, the despicable ones
how are they achieving something the kids with 4.0 gpa’s couldn't make an equation for

insert lines here

and why the hell do i keep looking at my phone, waiting for your name to shine bright telling me what to do what to say

insert lines here

why did you sleep with her, on her, side by side, parallel making hexagons and trapezoids keeping me out of the loop
why did i say ok

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