and so it seems
the lingering affects
consume and suffocate she
ever so quietly

taken into the stars
where even they are lonely
at least it's better
than crying here

the girl who
is thrown around by
her emotions, a state
of broken pieces

gravity unknown
eyes closing
the stars
comfort her endlessly

Writing has been a burning passion
Lately the fire has been waning
Like the crescent moon coming back around
In this moment I am still fading
I know it soon will return to me
But in what moment might it come back?
Cause lately I’ve been feeling like creativity is what I lack.
Or possibly a misguided soul
Or suppression of my true feelings.

Through troubled waters and vicious seas
I admit, I am still healing

The numbing I have come to know
Is degrading of my deepest treasure.
A whirlwind of fire, a breeze of wind,
An emotional strength beyond measure.

You tell me you're only one person
When I'm not even sure I count as one

They were opened,
Revealing a world in constant motion,
Colored and coated with this commotion,
Gripped and grabbed by the chosen,
Opened, but blinded,
Taken and tried, ignited,
A time before, I didn't mind it,
But now I mind it

I was better together and intact,
But now I wonder if I have even my own back,
Always feeling so stuck in this reality,
Confined, is this how it's supposed to be?

Feels like a day that lasts forever,
Losing time, guess erase the never,
Where did my mind go, lost my sanity,
Could I do anything to finally be free?

Could it be any better, I always ponder,
Maybe this is a test disguised as a taunter,
I feel it's getting harder to clearly even see,
Feelings confined in things that used to be normal to me...

Do I love love ? Or do I hate love ?
Love makes everything feel like it’s on steroids. It’s makes the highs sooo incredible and happy, while it makes the lows deathly dark and scary.
It can make you feel so inspired and motivated and outgoing and light,
while at the same time it has the abilities to be completely debilitating.
Completely detrimental.
It can make you so cold and heartless.
So uncaring and rude.
But at different points I feel both extremes.

Lately, I’ve been coming to crossroads mentally and spiritually
To either go %110 and give my all and be open and flexible on all aspects and wear my heart on my sleeve. To be completely open to being loving
Or
To still give that 110% but direct it more towards myself rather than my relations, to block myself off from certain things and keep my mental focused on myself and my goals.
To keep that energy internal so myself only can prosper from the energy and not a single other person.


To spilt my energy more so into an array of aspects including myself, or to focus it only on myself shielding and blocking all outside energies.

Broken pieces are scattered all around.
Shattered fragments of a joy-filled time.
If you move fast - you can avoid them,
hit the lone spot right where the floor is exposed.
But hopping around is another way of lying.

Do you keep you steady effort?
Or is it time to begin cleaning up the mess.
The more time builds up, the worse it gets.
The more subtle flaws stand out,
the more good times you start to forget.

It's the feeling you've reached the end.
Thinking back, maybe it  lasted too long,
but there's no going back now.
So what's the point of lingering in the past,
you've finished, take your final bow.

Is R E A L I T Y even R E A L ?
Lately I can barely even F E E L .

                                                        I'm trying to F I N D ,
                                                        Why I've had a battle in my M I N D .

                              I watch as people L I E ,
                              Leaving the others to just sit and  C R Y .

Humans are evil, we let others  H U R T ,
And although it's not okay it makes them A L E R T .
                                                          
    ­                                                      I guess everything has a R E A S O N ,
                                                          Just like each and every S E A S O N .

                              So to answer my own question, L I F E is R E A L ,
                              And it's quite a big D E A L .