my thought fibers push past the clutter, swirling around until my brain twists into knots and my heart follows suit, its veins tangling like spider webs until my feet get swept off the ground and my body gets ****** into the black hole.
Crashing waves against the crunch of sand Touches my feet Sinking into the softness beneath me As the water stains my toes blue And paints goosebumps Paints chills Across my legs Up to my stomach Full of the same crashing waves Those which curl And spin in whirlpools Up to my chest Into my lungs full of seasalt And the bitterness of the morning sun Down every branching vein That reminds me of mangrove roots Yet pale and blue So small and delicate It reaches my own shaking fingers And to the rosiness of my cheeks All I hear is the soft ringing of windchimes in my ears And the splash that dissipates into nothing but tiny droplets Maybe that’s what keeps me awake at night.
it climbs up their thin veins, worming its way under their skin, until it digs into their vulnerable minds, controlling them from the inside out, until they twist the life out of others. the prey become the predators.
You were a drug to me, babe. You weren't the medicinal kind either. You weren't just a painkiller. You weren't an antidepressant. You weren't a Xanax. You weren't ******. You weren't even the good kind of drug.
You weren't ****** or **** or ecstasy. You were the kind of drug that messed around with my heart and left my brain feeling clouded. You were the kind of drug that left me confused and feeling worse than before I took you. But I did. Again and again. I told myself I would break this vicious cycle of unscrewing your cap and hating myself for it afterwards. That I wouldn't draw back the plunger and force you into my veins anymore. But I didn't. Again and again.
I told myself you would be the death of me.
Every high you gave me left me feeling lost in the clouds.
You were the definition of Satisfaction. You were the blood in my veins, and the smoke in my lungs. I was addicted to you in the worst of ways. It was you who could quench the eternal thirst at my lips. And it was you who could satisfy the ravenous hunger in my bones. You were everything I needed all at once. And You gave me everything I ever wanted. A love that consumed me.
Check out the other poems in the "Addictions" series! This poem was written in 2016.
It's become obvious you are not coming back The thought of you and her together hits me like a smack The blood that runs rampant through my veins suddenly starts to freeze My heart stops pumping as I drop straight to my knees It shatters to pieces and the shrapnel fills my chest Impaling my lungs Making my breathing congest Silence has no business settling inside my ears But the fact that it does confirms my worst fears There is not a word I could say to possibly change your mind Without hesitation you effortlessly leave me behind If you're not in love anymore why couldn't you let me know? I gave you many opportunities to let me go Yet you are such a coward you hid how you feel Led me to believe your emotions were still real Then you vanished without courtesy of a text or call I guess the truth is I meant nothing to you at all
Not only did you not have the ***** to say it to my face, you couldn't say it to me period. After six years together you dont respect me enough to inform me of our break-up. I can't believe I have been dumped this hard and for some ****** who I can guarantee won't stick around once you have nothing more to offer. I would have been your ride or die until the very end but it's your loss I suppose. No one will ever love you the way I do.
i. i am lying beside you and i am looking at the skin on your face. i can see the air escape your mouth. soon it will be home to my lips, and they will caress yours with softness i never before possessed.
ii. life is not worth living if i am not beautiful.
iii. i am in an unfamiliar place. i am lying in a stranger’s bed. hands that i don’t recognise are turning my skin to ashes. i watch as my thighs burn. i am grieving for the dead ocean now occupying my eyes.
iv. i lift up the hem of my skirt, hoping you would see the dark starbursts printed on the skin on my thighs.
v. i have seen you without clothes but you have seen me without skin.
vi. he takes my skin and plants baby’s breaths on me, but they leave incisions in my heart. i am shaking now. i am in a shaking hell.
vii. i scoop up all your promises while you spill them onto another’s skin. i pick lies from the insides of your pockets. i clean dried blood from the corner of your mouth.
viii. my vein is tied carefully around your finger. it takes two minutes to **** the knot, and then me.